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Touchy subject but I need advice....
My sister in law just lost her child in utero. She was five months pregnant and very excited about this baby. Her first child was born with cleft pallette and lip. It has been difficult for her but she has learned to deal with life and such. She had hoped for two things, that this baby be a girl and that it not have any of the cleft issues. When she was induced to give stillbirth she found out that both things she had hoped for would have come to fruition had this child made it. I am not looking for sympathy or anything, as my wife's family is here to help with that but how would you advise someone help cope? I want to talk with her but don't want to touch the wrong nerve. I know she needs space but she also needs someone to talk to. Anyone ever have anything similar like this happen to a family member? How do you help them grieve but also to move on??
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Could I just say that I have had no knowledge of such a thing personally, but a similar thing happened to a friend of mine.
The best thing is to say nothing.... They will tell you what they need.
Just Listen.....
My heartfelt best wishes go out to your Sister in Law.
It was truly terrible but all you can do is be there for them and not be afraid to talk about it. She said it was better for people to talk and ask her about it rather than not saying anything as though nothing had happened.
She's now pregnant again and is due to give birth next month. Fortunately the hospital are taking very great care to ensure that both she and the baby are as healthy as possible before the birth.
I found no comfort through christianity.
I can offer only sympathy, and that even only second-hand, for it was my wife who suffered the most from that loss.
-glyn
Again thanks everyone, I appreciate it.
You all know how much I hate statistics (maybe?) well statistically, 1 in four babies die before or at birth. That's an appalling number, it's very sad.
Both of our childeren have come close to death post-natally, so I get some idea(albeit a small one) about how they must feel. You say that she is doing better, but please just be there and TELL HER that you will be there too. I think all of the above posts hit the nail on the head, however it will be something she will never get over-she will heal emotionally, yes. But it will take time. The baby is a baby, alive or otherwise-she will miss this child.
I thinks it's cool that you should be so concerned as to post to this forum and quiz the others here-More power to you! and best wishes to your family and in-laws.
Kind regards,
Xrayman
Thanks for the response. It definitely is a rough situation but day by day she is getting back into the normal routine. I don't honestly know how she feels, nor do I want to assume how it would feel cause I don't know what I would do in her situation. I have two children, my son Alex who is 2 and my daughter Xena who will be 10 next month. I love these kids with so much of my being that I can't imagine losing them.
Anyway, thanks again for all the responses and support. I got the answers I was seeking and I appreciate it.
glad to hear it.
deep respect to you.
xrayman
Really pleased we could be there for you....
As you have "got the answers you were seeking"...Would this now entail a name change....?
Hope not, love the avatar.....
No the name will stay the same. I havbe gotten the answers to that questions but oh so more questions to come...
I picked this new avatar cause it's sanskrit for love. As cheesy as this sounds, on Valentines Day my wife and I got the same thing tattood on us. She got hers on the top of her foot and I in the middle of my shoulder blades.