Valentines day approaching

Lady_Alison

I remember getting excited about this holiday but since thanksgiving I have been feeling very neutral towards it. Almost like I.m dead to it...i felt like that about xmas tree, I would take it down in january and this past year, I took it down on dec. 27.

Does anyone else feel dead or neutral to holidays or birthdays.

I show my love and appreaciation to my husband everyday...so does he.

But I wonder if this is a healthy emotion..are parts of my ego dying...is my attachment to this life dying.

Don't get me wrong, I selfishly want others to be happy.

I use to watch 8 hours of tv a day. Now I.m lucky if it's on at all.

I use to love fashion magazines but now I feel nothing towards them when I stand to check out at the store...

What kind of being am I becoming, i'm not depressed.

Any experiences?

What happen to that frilly carefree girl that wore name brands and gossiped...who lunched with debutantes and went out to be seen.

I think I killed her.

KnightofBuddha

You may be depressed. As many of my family are, and who described their prison-like depression by gradually not being able to enjoy the things they once did. Don't take my word as a diagnosis since it is nothing of the sort. But perhaps you might want to talk to your husband about it? Or look into the possibility of discussing it with your doctor.

Dakini

Hard to say what happened to that carefree girl who wore name brands and gossiped. It sounds like she matured. What's so great about name brands and gossip? You have more mature values now. It sounds like your priorities have shifted from material things to immaterial things: relationship, spirituality.

Or like zen_world said, you could be depressed and not know it.

Holidays are largely irrelevant to me. It's not a big deal. They're just silly marketing opportunities, with rare exception.

Lady_Alison

Hard to say what happened to that carefree girl who wore name brands and gossiped. It sounds like she matured. What's so great about name brands and gossip? You have more mature values now. It sounds like your priorities have shifted from material things to immaterial things: relationship, spirituality.

Or like zen_world said, you could be depressed and not know it.

Holidays are largely irrelevant to me. It's not a big deal. They're just silly marketing opportunities, with rare exception.

I always look forward to your quotes.

I find happiness in the immaterial now...but if it's depression shouldn't I be in a dark mood?

I don't find joy in the same things now as I did ... But that incessant need and urge to consume has gone away.

And I have been feeling more alive and free and light by killing so many desires.

I am just unfamiliar with this side.

Zero

Holidays have no importance but what could be more important than what we fill them with?

I love the "I think I killed her"... that made me LOL fi'real...

Youre living and aging... your brain chemistry and physiology are constantly changing - in a while you'll look back and say what happened to that carefree young woman who used to post on newbuddhist?

Feeling dead is different to feeling neutral no? If you mix the two you may wonder if youre depressed... if you feel dead to things then youre probably depressed, if you feel neutral then probably not....

If it makes any difference, your posts are very vibrant and your personality jumps off the page - you seem healthy to me!!

Lady_Alison

...i don't know if this helps but I find myself appreciating little things now and actively searching to help others. That makes me happy.

Let's say I am depressed...what am I gonnado...throw a pity party or screw my brain chemistry with prozac?

Hell no, I.m going jogging.

I still derive pleasure from that. Especially in nature.

Lady_Alison

Zero I love you...i want to find u a nice bedoin wife

Lady_Alison

So I guess what my dead to world feeling is neutrality...it does have a different quality than depression.

Believe me, I discovered the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain and was crowned king of nothing. My castle was my prison of self pity and emotional masturbation.

Sorry those are from songs.

But now coming out of it...i feel strange.

alive and dead.

Spaceless

getting aged probably !

Zero

4 please...!!!

I have found that Sufi practice can lead to a strong sense of non-grounding... it is possible to go mad... I think its because Sufi practitioners have been heavily persecuted and so their way is esoteric and mimics almost its exact opposite... its one of those where you need a teacher with lineage and you can explore other ideas but should return close to your devotion under guidance...

In buddhism, if you misunderstand something you read for example, at worst you wont get the most out of the practice or you'll miss the point for a while... in Sufi tradition, without guidance if you miss a point, you'll metaphorically run off the edge of a cliff head first.... not sure what's below... probably not a soft landing...

Lady_Alison

You are right...sufi has very little order. In buddhaism it seems atleast a systematic way to root out the cause of suffering.

That's why i'm here.

ThailandTom

To be honest it is kind of a shame that it exists IMO. If you are in a relationship, you shouldn't really need a holiday that is built around fueling the capitalist engine to show your compassion and commitment. On the other end of the scale, those who are not with a partner may feel more lonely, worthless and bad about themselves because there is a day of this nature.

I have become very mute about holidays, especially ones like this where there is only one real reason why it ever came into being.

To reply to what happened to that carefree girl, Dakini seems to have a very good idea what happened IMO, she has matured. I dounbt it has anything to do with depression. It is just waking up and smelling the coffee, who cares what label your clothes have or what is on TV, I don't own a TV myself.

Jeffrey

It's not as bad as 'sweetest day' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetest_Day

Lady_Alison

Is it normal to feel this neutrality towards hunger and pain?

I feel mostly cut off from hunger since ramadan. It's only after I remind myself to eat that I realize how hungry I was.

Also, I had to undergo a very uncomfortable procedure and all I could feel was my heart.where was the pain.

I also have a cold right now but this is unlike any cold i've ever had. Just sore throat and cough.

I use to wail as a child when I was sick...wonder if my complaints were making it worse

Lady_Alison

To be honest it is kind of a shame that it exists IMO. If you are in a relationship, you shouldn't really need a holiday that is built around fueling the capitalist engine to show your compassion and commitment. On the other end of the scale, those who are not with a partner may feel more lonely, worthless and bad about themselves because there is a day of this nature.

I have become very mute about holidays, especially ones like this where there is only one real reason why it ever came into being.

Suffering

Lady_Alison

It's not as bad as 'sweetest day' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetest_Day

I didn't know that! Let's do that everyday

Jeffrey

It's not as bad as 'sweetest day' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetest_Day

I didn't know that! Let's do that everyday

It's nice in theory but it's totally another hallmark/candy holiday.. I like candy tough so I'll take it haha

ThailandTom

In Thailand they have 'wan-deck' which basically means childrens day. That was last week, certain things are free in shops and stuff, nice to go along side mothers day and fathers day. But yes, hallmarked candy tastic holidays fill the year, I am sure there will be more to come in the future. How about friend day, when you have to buy gifts and cards for all of your friends.. Remember, you saw it here first!