Facebook

pyramidsong

Something I've been thinking about. Facebook is, while also a useful means of connecting with people, a vehicle for narcissism and self-worship. Do any of you guys use it? Is it possible to use it in a skillful way, Buddhism-wise? I've started an experiment of not getting involved with arguments, not posting negative/mean-spirited things and trying not to use it to feed my vanity. But I have no plans to leave it. Thoughts?

Zero

Facebook is useful - guess you've hit the nail on the head - it is up to you how you use it (like anything in life).

A friend of mine who suspects he's a sex addict has just suspended his own account for the reasons you cite... his parting words were that he's had enough of feeding his ego and facebook was a way for him to propogate his endlessly demanding self...

Not sure if it has stopped him sleeping with random women though!!

vinlyn

I agree that it depends on how you use it.

I use it merely as a means of keeping in touch with friends back East.

One of my former associates -- though hardly a friend -- is a Facebook addict, and spends most of her time on it whining and pouting.

I think how you use Facebook is usually just a mirror about how you act otherwise in life.

Raven

Facebook can be a great tool, depending how you use it, and WHY.

I've cut way back on it because it was making me feel sad or angry at some of the things I would see people post. I learned things about friends and family members that I could have gone a hundred lifetimes without knowing. Some people use FB to keep in touch; others use it to boast, complain, or incite hatred of the Other. Sad.

A screwdriver is a useful tool, whether building a chair or stabbing someone in the face. I guess it depends who's on your FB.

Zero

A screwdriver is a useful tool, whether building a chair or stabbing someone in the face.

ThailandTom

I have viewed facebook as a combined ego for a long long time. I have an account, which I have deleted twice, but have come back to as I use it as a tool for keeping in touch with everyone I ever knew who i left behind when I moved 6,000 miles. I also use it as a tool for business, lightly. But I do see it as a huge ego, people striving to gain status, to gain popularity and to affirm such notions. As I think it was the pope who said maybe two years ago now, "facebook turns friendship into a commodity" - not good.

Spaceless

Usually i added anyone appearing on the same interests but did not know who they were. Usually the posting was very much on idolizing or belittling and attempting to investigate and broadcasting personal or group disgust over a particular place or person. In fact all this interests can be found in scriptures. Until i found this newbuddhist : D so i deactivated facebooking as for now. Besides fb, there are whatsapp and plentiful of other social networking available http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_social_networking_websites
the list is not exhaustive.

Lady_Alison

Unless it's for the few reasons meantioned above....i see it as a glorified shrine of the "me"... I'm sure facebook is in itself not a problem... I'm sure there is good... But I don't understand the addiction behind it.

Well, I lied...i didn't fold laundry today to get on nb...am I on crack?

ThailandTom

I do see it as a glorified shrine of "me" too, I can totally relate to that. Like I said, as I left everone I had every known since birth behind in the UK, I use it as a tool for means of communication mostly, but I rarely post much on their to be honest. I will sometimes post some random things joking with friends I use to known back in the UK, but too often you see people inflating their ego on facebook. It sometimes can come across as a huge competition of the ego in a sense, I could give 1,000 examples but I won't bother, I am sure people have some sort of idea of what I am trying to say.

DaltheJigsaw

I use Facebook for my creative outlet. If you care to follow my stuff it is: http://www.facebook.com/leonidbasin

LesC

It is an amazing tool for finding and keeping in touch with friends far away. I visit maybe once a month, to catch up with friends, but never get involved in the constant chatter nor the games.

zombiegirl

i have a fair amount of friends that post interesting articles that i really enjoy. so i guess, i use it as much to keep in touch with people as to keep up with current issues.

in reality, i'm sort of a loner. i have a very small group of close friends, and then i just have a bunch of acquaintances. i can find common ground with anyone, but it's very rare that i find people that i consider similar to myself. for this reason, facebook is rather interesting for me. i've had to block a lot of people's updates from my feed (family members who post hateful things, for example) and i've defriended a whole lot of people altogether because i just don't see the point if we never communicate. but then when i update.. i wonder why so few people comment, haha. the ego at it's best... i think about this a lot. why do i care? before facebook, i was happy to just sit at home and go out on the rare occasion... but now, it seems like i feel this competition to be happier, more social, more fun... because that's what everyone else is doing...

i seriously would delete it if it weren't so convenient for contacting people.

Raven

If I spend too much time on FB, I start to feel angry and irritated. Why? Because FB has taken away people's brain filters...and stuff just comes out of their minds, onto their keyboards, and the next thing I know, I'm up to my virtual eyeballs in people's narcissistic BS. People say they use FB to connect with other people, but a lot of people use it to just shine the spotlight on themselves, all the time. I get tired of the competitiveness, the negativity, the "real" side of people - things I probably wouldn't have known about them otherwise.

ThailandTom

^^^^ +1

Jason

Personally, I like reading stuff on Facebook. I like posting stuff on Facebook, too. And I don't really see it as a "vehicle for narcissism and self-worship" any more than other social media tools. We all want to be seen a certain way, even on discussion forums like this; and I don't think it's fair to blame Facebook for people wanting other people to care about what they're doing or thinking. It's something that comes naturally to us. I mean, if you think about it, coming here and talking about how we feel about what other people are doing on Facebook isn't that much different from people on Facebook posting about the shit they do or don't like; and I care just as much about people's opinions here as I do on Facebook, so I don't see much of a difference.

nanimo

Facebook is a tool to me. Like anything, It's what you use it for that makes it "good" or "bad". It is also a social engine just like this board. You can interact with others on topics of interest.

Also it's social side can be useful for a limited amount of gaming -- in my case a relatively non-competitive game called Farmville which all but requires you to interact with others to a certain degree to build and enhance your game farm.

Telly03

I enjoy FB and have reconnected with several long lost friends... even though we have grown apart, I enjoy occasionally noting that they are well.

I have had some "friends" use the tool as a preaching platform, so I deleted them, and others as a drama horn, deleted them too.

The only dilema I had was my Mother using it too preach by posting on my wall. I had the urge to delete her, but couldn't bring myself to do it... I eventually figured how to fix my wall so that others can not post to it. She grumbled about it for a few days, now all is well.

Raven

I love the "unsubscribe" feature - they don't know you unfriended them (thus avoiding the drama) but you don't get drenched in the crazy.

I have a bunch of family members who are super-duper-extra-religious, and I've had to unsubscribe from them to make it stop. I respect their right to have their views, but I also find their views offensive and don't want it on my facebook.

lamaramadingdong

If someone wants to get in touch with me they can call me. Had a FB page for a couple of weeks to see what it was all about but deleted my account. Not my thing.

Spaceless

FACEBOOK FRIENDS!!! SOME APPS ARE SENDING NOT VERY NICE MESSAGES USING YOUR NAME!!! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INTO TROUBLE WITH YOUR FRIENDS, COPY PASTE AND SHARE THE POST!! IF YOU HAVE RECEIVED ANY FROM ME, BE ASSURED I DIDN'T SEND IT

There certainly have been rogue Facebook applications that send out spam, scam or malware messages that appear to originate from the accounts of the users who installed the apps. Facebook users do need to use due caution when installing applications. Spammers and other criminals have regularly created rogue Facebook applications designed to further their own nefarious activities and this tactic is likely to continue. Moreover, Facebook users should be cautious of following unknown links in messages, even if they appear to come from a friend.
http://www.hoax-slayer.com/facebook-apps-not-nice-messages.shtml :cool:

Lady_Alison

My friend works for an apartment leasing office and their addiction to farmville got so bad that they were loosing business and occupancy dropped to sixty percent.
corporate had their internet unplugged except for email and in network business needs... and they had serious withdraws for weeks.

She wanted to quit.
Lol

nanimo

You see now your friend @Lady_Alison is why I like farmville as opposed to other facebook games. Yes, it can be addictive but doesn't have to be all consuming. While it is time based, It's not split second rpg playing like warcraft so you can actually stop to wash dishes or fix the pipes or fill out paperwork and not end up missing much in the game in the mean time.

StaticToybox

Personally, I like reading stuff on Facebook. I like posting stuff on Facebook, too. And I don't really see it as a "vehicle for narcissism and self-worship" any more than other social media tools. We all want to be seen a certain way, even on discussion forums like this; and I don't think it's fair to blame Facebook for people wanting other people to care about what they're doing or thinking. It's something that comes naturally to us. I mean, if you think about it, coming here and talking about how we feel about what other people are doing on Facebook isn't that much different from people on Facebook posting about the shit they do or don't like; and I care just as much about people's opinions here as I do on Facebook, so I don't see much of a difference.

I was going to post something to this effect, but Jason stated it much better than I could.

And Facebook gives me a way to tease my nephew even from hundreds of miles away, so it's good in my view.

tbunton

@LeonBasin I sent you a friend request just so your not like "who the heck??"