2012

ThailandTom

So being positive here, what progress have you made in your life so far this year, from a buddhist perspective and from just a general one?

Jeffrey

I tried a new medicine in hopes of helping. I am travelling to visit my grandmother, planned that. And I have changed my diet.

I'm becoming more open minded about my meditation. Something is easing up about it... I don't see where it is going though,, just seeing it more as a celebration. And that's even if I am suffering even. if I feel my body moving through space in my walking meditation just get a glimmer of fresh.. Allowing things to be

weighted

From a Buddhist perspective:
I joined NB.
I have made meditation into a daily practice.
I have been more mindful.
I am developing a metta meditation practice, hoping to practice twice daily as time allows.
I purchased the Dalai Lama's Stages of Meditation and look forward to integrating it into my practice.

From a general perspective, I'm still in the throes of immense suffering, but I have a different perspective on things now, and I have only my practice to thank for that.

ThailandTom

Sounds good Jeremey, your physical self has some new medicine which as you have stated hope will you help, and your spiritual self is easing up, slowing down and finding peace. Have a nice trip to see your grandmother.

Weighted, you are new here if I am not wrong (sometimes my memory does not serve me well for various reasons). You have alreadt implimented meditation as a daily practice, kudos, that is great. If you continue I am sure you will see the fruits begin to rippen more and more,
Suffering exists everywhere and in everyone, it is just how we view it and deal with it. As you said, you have a different perspective on things now. I bet that you will change perspectives again and again with progress- metta

DaltheJigsaw

Less Angry, More Compassion and less time with my private parts!:)

weighted

@ThailandTom Well said, and yes I'm fairly new here. Metta to you, my friend.

RichardH

I'm becoming more forgetful in a good way. If there is an awkward or unpleasant interaction with someone, the next day I tend forget it and just say hi. In a way it is emotional laziness, because getting upset is a drag, and staying upset is really a drag.

A spasm of view attachment doesn't take hold in the same way, but kind of passes ...like a spasm of dumbness.

I've also come to really trust that my brain is smarter than me, and to get out of the way more, because all I do is second guess.

...So trust, and some leaps of faith that brought welcome change.


.....and practice goes on.....

ThailandTom

@leon KEEP AWAY! lol. Good to hear about the anger though.

@Richard when I was starting out lets say with buddhism, one of the first main leaps I made was to be able to let go of things emotionally and physically. Of course I cannot do this with everything in life, but it does help to have this ability. If you keep reminding yourself of something that happened in the past, it will continue to hurt you just as it did in the first place, when in fact it has gone. So you can simply smile and carry on as you have said.
I am a little confused about what you said in relation to your brain being smarter than you. First, who are you, what are you? Do you mean that you feel that the brain is uncontrollable at times or something, if you care to elaborate maybe some people here can offer some words...

Lady_Alison

Lol @leonbasin...what the hell...it is a full moon...good to here.

For me, growing up and becoming more emotionally self sufficient with practice...and uncovering the real me, warts and all. I also met new people here I enjoy...well, everyone that posted above...trully some of you have impacted my life...in one way or another...and your stories make me laugh and cry.

@weighted. ..suffering is your super power. Transform it.

RichardH

Hi Tom . I was just giving a personal report on what's been going on, not speaking from doctrine. All I am saying is that this body, this brain and nervous system, is intelligent, sensitive, intuitive, and will function just fine if not tripped up with self-conscious second guessing. That second guessing is “I”, which is just the body's natural function of agency that has somehow knotted into a seeming self conscious entity, a little captain, within this body and mind, yet apart from it, above it, and at odds with the natural flow and function of this body. That trips thing up. It's all smoke, but..

ThailandTom

Nice to har Lady Alison, I am glad that you have managed to find out who you are as a person, but that person will constantly be changing, so watch her

I understand I think what you are saying Richard, it is just written in a way that I personally found hard to understand. The mind, consciousness works or will work totally fine and be at peace if it were not for this notion of self, anatman? Is that what you are getting at?

Personally me, buddhist wise in 2012 so far I have dont very little in the way of meditation, but I have been able to make a few more steps down the road of compassion thanks to personal suffering. It seems that My path up until now, the path of over three years, seems to involve me observing the world, my mistakes, people's mistakes and having realizations that way.
I have changed from valium to clonazepam, or some of you may know of it as klonpin. I have become friends with the 2 women at the pharmacy as well as my GF, and she normally does not sell this medication, but she ordered in some stock for me as I read about it being better for social anxiety. It is working well, I have been out in the last 3 days running, and not just at night time I am no longer pale living in thailand haha. I also get discounted on my medication because we know each other now and joke around etc. The younger of the two wants to meet my father when he comes to Thailand in a couple of months, I said that I care for you and would not wish that burden upon you lol. But if she wants to meet him I will be cupid. May end up having free meds :clap: Thinking long term though, I am aware that these medications are cover ups and not the true solution.

RichardH

I understand I think what you are saying Richard, it is just written in a way that I personally found hard to understand. The mind, consciousness works or will work totally fine and be at peace if it were not for this notion of self, anatman? Is that what you are getting at?

Sure, basically. The concept of Anatman can be debated, proper understanding and so forth, but I reeeeally prefer to not get into that kind of debate, and am happy to just talk about life in my own loopy words. ...such as they are.

tbunton

I have become more aware of how much "self" gets involved in life. Its easy to recoqnize after the face right? I have relized being selfless takes constant monitoring. Ive made it a priorty to meditate at least once a day, and even though I doubt the exsistnce of God, I try to give thanks once a day.

ThailandTom

I in a similar way do not believe in god, although I do thank something that I am here often. Also in situations where I am frantic, I may ask for help to this unknown force. Yes the self, I too have seen how much the ego comes into every day life. The more you come to notice it, the more you try to turn it around to say being generous or kind.

I was walking home 2 days ago along a road which is very wide, not a main road but has a steady flow of cars etc. It is Thailand so it is not orderly, and just ahead I saw a tuk tuk crash into the side of a wall. I went over to see if they were okay, they really were not. It was a couple of about 55 in the back, the woman split her leg open really quite bad and was nearly crying, whilst the guy was slumped up with a cut where you could see the bone. The thais were kind of frantic and just calling the abulence. I started to speak in thai, 'get me some cloth so I can tie this wound up' etc. I also suggested not to wait for the ambulence and to take them there now which they did. I walked home with blood on me, but I felt I made a difference that day.

Jeffrey

That's heroic Tom. Did the moment slow down and you felt like you were acting when that happened? I had a few emergencies with others hurt physically and I dissociated sort of like I was seeing myself from outside.

ThailandTom

Things did slow down a little for me yes, I wouldn't say it was heroic, just what anybody who has a little compassion would do. I felt a lot of empathy though because they were obviously here on holiday to have a good time and the scene was quite bloody. The look on the womans face really made me feel the empathy I think, also the way she was acting, but I am sure they got stitched up and were okay. The hospital is only 2 minutes which is why I told the thais to forget about the ambulence as it would get caught up in traffic.