Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register
Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

How do you deal with a break-up?

Argon.AidArgon.Aid Veteran
edited April 2006 in General Banter
How do you deal with a break-up?

Comments

  • MagwangMagwang Veteran
    edited April 2006
    Argon.Aid wrote:
    How do you deal with a break-up?
    ::

    Use it as an opportunity.

    My divorce was the start of the "crack" in my ego that led me to the Buddha.

    "There is a landscape larger than the one you see."

    ::
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited April 2006
    How do you deal with a breakup?

    Honestly. Truthfully. Compassionately.

    All of these things - if at all possible.

    As Mag stated - as corney as this sounds - there is and will be a lot going on with your feelings, emotions, regrets, anger, etc. Now is a time to focus. Now is a time to meditate. Now is a time to look at your feelings and suffering - suffering... that thing we've all heard life will contain.
    Now is a time to spend time with your friends and family. Now is a time to continue doing those things in life that you wish to do. Now is the only time you have.

    I wish you the best... if this is what you're going through.

    -bf
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited April 2006
    BF,

    That was an absolutely beautiful post. I'm almost in tears.

    Argon,

    The above posts are what you need. They are right. Remember that it is our attachments that cause us suffering.

    With love,
    Brigid
  • questZENerquestZENer Veteran
    edited April 2006
    While I agree with BF, it's very difficult. Truthfulness, honesty, compassion, yes, but with yourself first and foremost. Whether you initiated it, the other initiated, or it was a "joint" decision, be kind with yourself.

    When I dealt with a break up of a relationship of nearly 10 years, I found myself slow down quite a bit. Sleeping a lot more; more trouble concentrating. Eventually, I began the road back to practice, but it took 3 or 4 years until the seeds from that experience lead me back to a more sustained, sustainable pratice.

    Ask youself: what do you enjoy doing? what do you enjoy doing that you haven't done in a long time? For me, my breakup was a time for self re-invention. I re-started interests I had but were left behind. I took up some new interests. Had I been a meditation maven, I would have meditated a lot, I think, but I'm not sure that's so useful. Living your life is useful. Cry. Get angry. Run. Scream. Whatever you do, embrace this experience. This is your life.

    Know, however, this too shall pass. Remember everything we can see, touch, and feel is impermanant.

    If you already have meditation incorporated into your life, continue. It won't solve your problems. While, yes, I agree that 'clinging' is what leads to 'suffering', I only know this intellectually. I only know it in my head. Therefore I don't really know it myself. For me, only by owning my own experience, feeling what is true in my own life and welcoming it in can I even conceive of letting it go. Perhaps that's what separates me from more experienced Buddhists. I'm not sure.
Sign In or Register to comment.