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what are you doing well
Based on several things, @ThailandTom 's thread on negativity, and other reference to self compassion, I am moved to talk about what we are doing well. We have all started a journey that has no 'saved moment' like Christianity may have, and instead are choosing a path that is always practice. In that spirit I think we need to (in a non-ego way) celebrate what we are doing and who we are because of that effort.
To start the conversation I will offer some of my own examples
* I have not turned the person I have difficulties with into the 'evil other', tempting but still working on it
* I did not let a creepy person make me leave the sangha group I love,
* I don't have to be the very best or the very worst in a situation, both are attachments to ego
* I recognize more the triggers to getting in extreme emotional states and have worked with that without trying to 'control' but rather accept and therefore they lose a lot of power
Not sure how others will respond however that is my list.
To start the conversation I will offer some of my own examples
* I have not turned the person I have difficulties with into the 'evil other', tempting but still working on it
* I did not let a creepy person make me leave the sangha group I love,
* I don't have to be the very best or the very worst in a situation, both are attachments to ego
* I recognize more the triggers to getting in extreme emotional states and have worked with that without trying to 'control' but rather accept and therefore they lose a lot of power
Not sure how others will respond however that is my list.
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I simply feel more at peace with the following
* many decisions I have made in recent years
* with some confusing past experiences
* when working with my son
* okay with those things happening to us that I have had no control over.
* with myself
Also Buddhism has been a great help in giving a way to communicate and put things to my kids, so that they can understand a way of living that I (for the most part) have always tried to live by.
It has also helped my kids to see that I am not the only person who thinks this way about life.
I most definitely have had some new views added to my brain to think about.
And I have only just began to learn. I just feel happier when I am reading and learning about Buddhism, I guess because much of it is reaffirming my beliefs, and it brings to mind many things I had never even considered before, so I am learning (I am always happy when I am learning).
*I am quick to help anyone in need
*I believe that I have become more compassionate
*I think that I have become more aware of how my words and what I say effect people
*I have gotten less anxious but still have social anxiety
*I am able to accept things as they are most of the time, ie having no money or food, sometimes even turning them into a fun time.
This thread is a good idea @AHeerdt It reminds me of something I read long long ago. One should make a list of all of the good qualities you think you have and all of the bad qualities you think you have. You should write them on one sheed of paper on opposite sides. When you are done, tear the paper in half and throw away the negative side and keep the positive side as a reminder.
I'm coping ok...a lot better than i thought I would....in spite of having been fired on Friday.....
We're consulting a solicitor for unfair dismissal......
all I know is, I'm never going to work for an Italian male, again....
@federica .... are italians plagued by stereotypical male chauvinists ?
He never spoke to me, or had a final interview to discuss matters, let alone to tell me my job was over.
He told me on the 'phone, to go to the hotel where he was staying, to pick up a letter, addressed to me, from reception.
It was my letter of termination - and he fired me retrospectively, from the preceding day. (8th March, International Women's Day.... irony, anyone?)
If anyone can tell me how that works, exactly - let me know...!
He gave me 1 month's notice (my contract clearly states 3 months!) and to say he didn't follow procedure, give a legitimate reason, or even draft the letter correctly - wpuld be an understatement....
he mis-spelled my name, (WTF?? :wtf: ) wrote the letter in 2 languages, and used a 2nd-hand envelope.....
you gotta laugh...
He is sooo up shit creek without a paddle...... !
my mother is a through-and-through full Italian - she said the following - word for word.
"It wouldn't be so bad if they were like the French - smiling and hugging you while they slip the knife between your shoulder-blades.... but they don't even do anything with humour or good grace. They're bloody-minded, rude and chauvinistic, and they never follow rules unless it's to their immediate advantage."
She can't stand it any more.
She's coming back to the UK to live.
:arr: I love your mom's quote, really painted a picture. . . Anyway, hugs girly!
I want to be more active in volunteer work or helping others in that vein.
My meditation practice feels always like coming home.
I am working on clinging - some days better than others, but working all the same.
My anxiety is less.
My job keeps me busy.
I'm thankful for writing and for getting back into journaling.
And you know full well that Buddhist does not mean doormat!
I got hired on as a receptionist/data entry person. In CA they have a 90 day trial time then (don't know if they still do), but they don't have to give you cause, nor do you get unemployment benefits if they let you go during that time. I always got my work done and would even help the other girls with filing or whatever, when I completed my day's tasks, or needed to wake/stretch (data entry is very boring so I would doze off occasionally).
As the work day was finishing up on the last day of trial period, I go into my boss to see how I was doing, and what areas I needed to improve. LOL She goes "I have been meaning to talk to you, we have decided we don't really need your position". It was a shock to me, I couldn't help but to tear up (after leaving her office) because of the shock really, that was the only job I had (have) ever been "fired" from. The 3 other girls in the office were shocked as well.
LOL taught me to not go and ask my bosses how I was doing at my work (not really but still).
or maybe they do, but they grit their teeth and bear it, because - well, they still HAVE a job, and so...you don't.
they won't lose sleep over it, because if they did that, we'd be employed by brainless idiots with no conscience...
Oh...
hang on....
no.....We'd be UNemployed by brainless idiots with no conscience.
that's better.
A friend of mine sat through two rigorous question-and-answer sessions, an interview by a select panel of directors, and a hands-on evaluation of the computer system he was applying to become Technical consultant for.
The final 'test' was to see how quickly he could rectify a deliberate fault programmed into the system.
he took 15 minutes.
they were expecting him to take 3 days.
He didn't get the job.
no need.
He's rectified their technical problem, writing down the procedure (as requested by the examiner, to show it wasn't a 'fluke' ) within 15 minutes of sitting down to it.
why would they employ him to do a job he'd already done for them....?
the 'deliberate fault' had been nothing of the kind.
it had been a real crisis the company kept coming across every 28 days, and hadn't known how to fix.
so, even before being employed they can shaft you right over.....
I am going to enjoy my employment and appreciate it.
I've done the one thing i try to remind others to not do.
I've as good as threadjacked.
I'll bow out, but if i have more to add, i'll post an update in a new thread....
Apologies, @AHeerdt, for being careless.
thanks.
Rock on guys, sounds like you all are making a ton of progress in the path!
I am much more compassionate than before, which is a big deal for me, because I have seriously lacked compassionate when dealing with other people before now.
I've found fellowship in my practice with @BeyondPrair (we attend the same high school) and I have supported him even as he has supported me.
I've gone through the same type of transformation that @RichardH has. My depression two months ago was a crippling affair, and now I'm able to separate it from myself and clear my thoughts through meditation. The difference this has made on my outlook cannot be understated; I'm quite literally a different person because of it.
To sit!
I am very grateful at the moment and enjoy being honest, which I think I try to be at all times.
I wish you all a happy and peaceful day.
nice to have you among us!