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Lightening the load
BaileyD
Explorer
I spent Saturday cleaning out a spare room. I tossed so much crap that I've been holding on to for one reason or other. I don't usually keep things for sentimental reasons but a few odd things I have. Like an old Rainbow vacuum cleaner my mother bought when I was little, she gave it to me when I moved out close to twenty years ago. It still works but is starting to have trouble. I bought a new vacuum years ago but, for some reason, could never bring myself to get rid of the Rainbow. Until Saturday. Then I went all out. I tossed things I've had since childhood. I collected up my baseball cards and some other collectibles and decided to take them in and sell them since I don't use them for anything at all. A few years ago I sold my record collection because I didn't really listen to them anymore. It took me years to collect those records and I was proud of my collection, but I just didn't use them. Ever. So I sold them and haven't regretted it one bit.
Things like records, baseball cards, and vacuums are easier to part with than some of the other objects that have very specific memories attached to them. I have a special box for those things. Most of the memories are not good. Some are from good times but all I seem to recall when I look at them is the bad the came after the good times. There are pictures of friends from school, old crushes, letters from friends, etc. Part of me is inclined to get rid of a lot of these things and set the memories free. Some I wish to keep forever like the set of pictures from my last day at my favorite school, those are memories I will always treasure. Others, I think, it's time to let go of like the pictures and letters from a girl I was madly in love with in high school but was stuck only being friends with.
So what say you? What memories and associated items are worth keeping? I know I can only judge for myself, but a little input is appreciated. Is it worth it to keep a gift from the first girlfriend and first girl I ever kissed? Or is it better to let some memories fade with time?
BTW, the memory of that first kiss is still just as fresh as the moment it happened.
Things like records, baseball cards, and vacuums are easier to part with than some of the other objects that have very specific memories attached to them. I have a special box for those things. Most of the memories are not good. Some are from good times but all I seem to recall when I look at them is the bad the came after the good times. There are pictures of friends from school, old crushes, letters from friends, etc. Part of me is inclined to get rid of a lot of these things and set the memories free. Some I wish to keep forever like the set of pictures from my last day at my favorite school, those are memories I will always treasure. Others, I think, it's time to let go of like the pictures and letters from a girl I was madly in love with in high school but was stuck only being friends with.
So what say you? What memories and associated items are worth keeping? I know I can only judge for myself, but a little input is appreciated. Is it worth it to keep a gift from the first girlfriend and first girl I ever kissed? Or is it better to let some memories fade with time?
BTW, the memory of that first kiss is still just as fresh as the moment it happened.
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Comments
It's okay to keep maybe a handful of things. Maybe photos, but not all these things. I think you realize that it's time to let go.
Several years before she died, my mother gave me a handful of letters that I had written to her when I was a teenager thirty some years before.
She had moved to England without telling me, taking my sister with her. I had forgotten how angry and hurt I had been. And I had wondered about what had caused a 15 yr old to go downhill so fast.
Those letters showed me what was in that boy's mind at the time. That kind of info came in handy when I was raising my own teenagers.
But be gentle with yourself, usually more than one go at it while going through layers is a good idea if you have time;
Also in this box was a series of postcards from my father and then step-mother. The supposition was that they were working in Hawaii but in reality they were in yet another failed drug treatment program. I held on to these post cards for many years in an effort to remind myself of how even loved ones can lie and how easily I can be fooled. My first instinct when I posted the OP was to get rid of them as well.
I needed to let go of my failures and perceived failures. I needed to let go of the things that were there to remind me of the hurt and pain. I just needed to let go.
I burned it all. And had a tasty beer while doing it. It felt good to finally let go of all that crap. Thank you all for the kind words and reassurance that my instincts are right most of the time.
My theme for 2012 has been to work on letting go, this is just one more step along that very long and unending path.
Letting go is on teaching that I have come to understand and impliment a lot in my life early on with my practice, it is very important and very helpful indeed. Kudos for that one, you will see the benefits from it I am sure. I use to imagine in my head whatever it was I was letting go of in my hand and then me dropping it, that seemed to work well for me. I have heard Ajahan Brahm say that you should write it on a bit of paper, tape it to a stick and then throw it as far as you can, but just don't have a dog with you when you do.