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Compassion or Enabler?
This is a concern that I have had for a very long time. Where does one draw the line, if at all, with comapassion?
Homelessness is seen in every country, all cities, and many smaller towns. It is of course an unfortunate circumstance for any human being nor is there any reason for this day in age. And although there was a discussion similar to this I think on this forum, I feel the need to open it up again as it is something that is fresh in my mind.
Allow me to set the scenario:
Quite recently I was on holiday in Northern Florida (the oldest city in North America actually, called St. Augustine). It is wonderful small and quaint little spot with history dating back to the 1500's...and occupation by the Spainish until 16something....
Anyway, today there is a libral arts college and the city pretty much relies on tourism.
The main area is St. George Street. Pedestrians only and filled with shops of all kinds. It used to be that street entertainers were allowed. Walking along there would be singers, instruments, and even a 'one man band', mimes. These artists were enjoyable and rather talented. They were siply out to practice their art and/or to put a smile on passers-by.
These entertainers are no longer allowed to 'litter' the street as local governance wanted to clean up the place. Now, these artists are only allowed on the side streets. Here is the disappointing part, IMO: The 'artists' have moved. And what moved in is young college lads and lasses that strum a guitar and beat on a drum. The hat or guitar case in open inviting any 'donations'. The part that got to me was in Palm Sunday the Catholic Church had its vase of palms set up in the vestibule (Inside the church). A 'street entertainer' entered the church and grabbed two fists full of palms and walked out. Later that day, this person and their friend were making and selling palm roses...with their hats wide open.
I am not one (or I try not to be) that jumps to conclusions. So I started a conversation about the roses and such. These two offered information about no work around, living expenses.....
All week my family and I noticed and commented on all of the "Help wanted" signs in numerous store fronts. These stores are not for any one dempgraphic. There is upscale, middle, souvenior, goth, alternativr, etc. Everyday I saw these two just sitting on park benches doing nothing. So in a weeks time, I saw them steal to sell, sit, drink coffee purchased from the cafes, and do well, nothing.
So my question is this: How far does compassion go when this is being witnessed?
I am certainly one to donate, help, whatever. But these were 18-20 year old kids who are already falling in to this...I don;t know what..."I give up", "I don't care", "I'm lazy". How do we I, we, Buddhists approach this topic with compassion but without being enabler?
I am quite interested in hearing your points of view and opinions...
Sharpie
Homelessness is seen in every country, all cities, and many smaller towns. It is of course an unfortunate circumstance for any human being nor is there any reason for this day in age. And although there was a discussion similar to this I think on this forum, I feel the need to open it up again as it is something that is fresh in my mind.
Allow me to set the scenario:
Quite recently I was on holiday in Northern Florida (the oldest city in North America actually, called St. Augustine). It is wonderful small and quaint little spot with history dating back to the 1500's...and occupation by the Spainish until 16something....
Anyway, today there is a libral arts college and the city pretty much relies on tourism.
The main area is St. George Street. Pedestrians only and filled with shops of all kinds. It used to be that street entertainers were allowed. Walking along there would be singers, instruments, and even a 'one man band', mimes. These artists were enjoyable and rather talented. They were siply out to practice their art and/or to put a smile on passers-by.
These entertainers are no longer allowed to 'litter' the street as local governance wanted to clean up the place. Now, these artists are only allowed on the side streets. Here is the disappointing part, IMO: The 'artists' have moved. And what moved in is young college lads and lasses that strum a guitar and beat on a drum. The hat or guitar case in open inviting any 'donations'. The part that got to me was in Palm Sunday the Catholic Church had its vase of palms set up in the vestibule (Inside the church). A 'street entertainer' entered the church and grabbed two fists full of palms and walked out. Later that day, this person and their friend were making and selling palm roses...with their hats wide open.
I am not one (or I try not to be) that jumps to conclusions. So I started a conversation about the roses and such. These two offered information about no work around, living expenses.....
All week my family and I noticed and commented on all of the "Help wanted" signs in numerous store fronts. These stores are not for any one dempgraphic. There is upscale, middle, souvenior, goth, alternativr, etc. Everyday I saw these two just sitting on park benches doing nothing. So in a weeks time, I saw them steal to sell, sit, drink coffee purchased from the cafes, and do well, nothing.
So my question is this: How far does compassion go when this is being witnessed?
I am certainly one to donate, help, whatever. But these were 18-20 year old kids who are already falling in to this...I don;t know what..."I give up", "I don't care", "I'm lazy". How do we I, we, Buddhists approach this topic with compassion but without being enabler?
I am quite interested in hearing your points of view and opinions...
Sharpie
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Comments
Having said that, I'm not sure what question you're asking, Sharpiegirl. Are you asking if you should feel compassion for these two twenty somethings? The answer, in my opinion, is yes, you should feel compassion for them as you do for all living beings who want to be rid of suffering and find happiness, just as you do. We are all suffering in this world and we all want to be happy and this applies as much to them as it does to the convicted murderers and child rapists in prisons all over the world and to those who devote their lives to helping others. That's what equanimity is all about. It's important to view all other beings with an impartial eye. We certainly can't say that we will feel compassion only for those whom we believe deserve it. We all deserve it, regardless of our actions.
If your question is should these twenty something's be treated with compassion, the above applies. Compassion, containing wisdom as it does, would dictate that were we in a roll in which we were to make decisions on how to deal with these two people we would take into account what is best for them and the community as a whole. If they are stealing it would not be in their best interests nor the best interests of the community to turn a blind eye to it.
In the interests of all, and at the risk of being accused of butting in, I would have brought what I witnessed to the attention of the authorities at the church and let them handle it stressing that your interests lie in their compassionate treatment. Other than that I don't think there's a whole lot more that you could do.
Brigid
Sharpiegirl, you raise an interesting point.
It reminds me of some of the really cocky kids you see around. They go around verbally abusing people and just generally being unpleasant. But no one will give them a stern talking to or a good old fashion clip round the ear 'ole - too scared of retaliation from the kids, their parents or the police. Inevitably these are the kids how grow up to end up in A&E after being stabbed because they were cocky to the wrong people, or in prison because they were cocky to the judge just one too may times - they're reaping their karma.
My point is that compassion doesn't have to be lovey dovey stuff. Like Brigid says, we need to apply wisdom with compassion.
A lot of us need tough love, sounds like someone needs to bash these guys heads together and tell them to get a life before their life just slips through their fingers. I believe as long as the intention is to help these guys make something of their lives then you can be quite severe - as long as it helps them that is.
But these people are begging for money when jobs are readily available.
So do we offer food? money? If we do, that enables. If we don't that may show lack of compassion for we do not know the whole situation.
I do not 'look through' people. I acknowledge their 'work' and art and will often have very interesting conversations with them. But as a very conservative family member might say, 'They are lazy and want to live off of every one else'. Although I cannot bring myself to believe that, I can see where it might be easy to believe.
I would imagine that there are certain restrictions in place regarding casual work..... unemployment benefit, duration of contracts, how doing casual work might affect student grants, loans or funds... I am just guessing, here... just throwing a few ideas into the ring, which might be considered mitigating factors...
There is absolutely no such thing in France as 'casual work' and you will never see notices stating 'help wanted'...
Everything is strictly above board, and vacancies (no matter how big or small the company) are advertised through job centres, requiring CV's and letters of application. You might occasionally find an employer who takes on someone he knows, without the successful candidate having gone through the procedure...but the job will have been advertised, nevertheless...
Unemployment benefit is structured and calculated on two things:
previous salary, and duration of last employment.
Most jobs here are minimum wage (which means unemployment benefit will be lower than this base figure).
So if you worked for a company for say three months (as was my case) that's how long your unemployment benefit will last - three months. After that, you're eligible for social security, but that is even lower than unemployment benefit - !
I would dearly love to find a 'help wanted' poster..I for one, would be in like a shot. But then, probably, so would fifty French people with me... and given the choice of a twenty-two year old native French person applying, alongside a 49-year old English foreigner.... who do YOU think would get the post?
If no such strictures apply in the USA, then these kids don't know they're born, sometimes...
Dawn has a cousin who is much like the kids twobit is talking about. No one ever ask him why he does the things he does because they are scared of him or they just don't care. I do ask him questions and sometimes he gets mad but only because he sees too much of himself in my query. What a great chance to be truly awake. We have a chance in every moment, in every interaction to practice understanding (right view).
Mike
The laws in the US allow people to apply for a job where ever...all they have to do is fill out an application. As far as unemployment, as long as they didn't quite their job, they recieve it as long as they 'need' it....
Like I said, I do not know the whole situation of these two people or any of the others...
Aside for being a social issue (which it is) I related to Buddhism because as I new Buddhist, I am not quite sure how to 'help'. Giving may contribute to their lack of motivation IF, I SAY IF, that is the case.
I agree, Mike. It isn't a bad thing to ask. When I did strike up a conversation they shed very little other than the palm roses they were trying to sell. How far should one push a stranger...a cousin is a little easier.
Perhaps I am making a mountain out of a mole hill...I suppose I need to reflect more on it...
But part of me thinks that we need to take of ourselves and not rely on strangers and society to feed us. OF COURSE there are circumstances in which it is needed!! I toltally support that. But IF FOR EXAMPLE these two were as I described adn unwilling to be contributing citizens to society, how/what would a Buddhist help?
Actually, SG, I don't think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. I've been thinking about this for a few days and, I agree with Fed/Bridge/Mike--compassion is not mushy. It's hard. I look to the natural world for inspriation on compassion--the tree continues growing after being struck by lightening.
I reflect on one precept every day. I do this as a way to 'guide' my interactions and mindfulness towards those ideals as best I can. One purpose I do that is so that I can begin to get a better sense of what it means to "act in accordance with what is". Yesterday, I practiced the precept of Not Being Deluded. The version I use reads:
The most conventional interpretation of this precept is about using drugs/alcohol/idle diversions/etc. However, there is a resonance here with this situation as well--it seems to me that in a way you're asking about "not encouraging others to be deluded" and how we should act in a way that discourages delusion. Framed in this way, how do we encourage others not to be deluded? I don't have an answer.
For me, I'm not sure 'contributing to society' is necessarily the right focus for the question. You are not your brother's keeper. You are not responsible for them nor for their actions of hanging out. What you are responsible for is your own conduct. According to the precept of Not Being Deluded, by internalizing this my actions are (ideally) a model for others. Perhaps saying something to them about their actions--asking questions perhaps about where the palms came from--would be one rather low-key way to encourage non-delusion.
I think this is an excellent query that forces us to put into action Dharma into an everyday context. This speaks to an 'engaged Buddhism', a Buddhism that is vital and vibrant and contributes to social reality rather than one that takes us out of it. I really appreciate your tenacity in continuing poking this thread along!
Harlan, I think your last line, "All too easy for the young to rebel...searching for freedom" hit the nail....
It is my experience that genuine compassion is counter-intuitive, daring, a challenge to convention and custom - and extremely dangerous!
Tricycle's Daily Dharma: April 28, 2006
To Be Perfect
According to Buddhism for a man to be perfect there are two qualities that he should develop equally: compassion on one side, and wisdom on the other. Here compassion represents love, charity, kindness, tolerance and such noble qualities on the emotional side, or qualities of the heart, while wisdom would stand for the intellectual side or the qualities of the mind. If one develops only the emotional neglecting the intellectual, one may become a good-hearted fool; while to develop only the intellectual side neglecting the emotional may turn one into a hardhearted intellect without feelings for others. Therefore, to be perfect one has to develop both equally. That is the aim of the Buddhist way of life: in it wisdom and compassion are inseparably linked together. --Walpola Rahula, What the Buddha Taught
We can give without compassion but, I agree, we cannot practice compassion without giving.
this is in response to...?
Not so much a response as a restatement of the paradoxical relationship between loving-kindness, wisdom and "common sense".
When I give when asked by a person who is being deceitful about their need i could be compassionate
When I give when asked by a person in need i could be compasionate
When I give to a person in need and who has not asked i could be compasionate
When asked to give to a person who i know is decietful and do not give more than a kind
word i could be compassionate. If I give more that that I am a fool and causing that person harm.
Usually when I am asked I give what ever I have extra to my needs without thinking if I was getting scammed or not. If it isnt obvious I am being scammed it just does not matter.
Great post. I feel exactly the same.
Brigid
but there was the 'to each their own', don't trust everybody, I work hard and you work hard attitude:-/
As a result, my brothers and I have a hard work ethic. With that said, I realize not everyone has had that instilled in them.
Brigid
I agree with the overhaul!
Balance is the key word, here!
Like I said before, I don't necessarily agree with this motto, but in certain situations, I see some validity.