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Becoming Impatient
Since I have recently turned 16, I have been interested in getting a job. Previously I had a paper route for almost 5 years. I was glad to be done with it.
So now, I have been putting in job applications around my city. The problem is, my parents want me to apply to nearly every place. This seems a little extreme and a very anti-vacation thing to do right now. But I suppose it just means I have a better chance.
The issue that is really burning me now is hours in the summer. I want to work no more than 20-25 hours in the summer. My parents are insisting....demanding that I work 40 hours if the job allows. They say the money will be well worth it. Okay, so I will have a lot of money. But I will have no time to do anything with this money. To go from not working at all to going full-time seems a little silly for my age.
When I at first questioned this, I was told how back in the day, we worked full time at the age of 15......You get the idea.
I wouldn't mind having money for once and not living off birthday checks for a while. But what kind of a summer is this for me. I'm only going to be here for another 2 years and I am off on my own. I will work for the rest of my life. I don't see why it is so imperative for me to work full time now.
I am becoming rather impatient with this job thing. I am tired of being told where to apply, how many hours to work, what to do with music. I think tonight, I'm going to have a 'come to jesus meeting' about this. All of my friends with jobs are only working part time in the summer because they actually want to have a summer.
So what do you think. Am I just being lazy? Do I just need to build some work ethic?
So now, I have been putting in job applications around my city. The problem is, my parents want me to apply to nearly every place. This seems a little extreme and a very anti-vacation thing to do right now. But I suppose it just means I have a better chance.
The issue that is really burning me now is hours in the summer. I want to work no more than 20-25 hours in the summer. My parents are insisting....demanding that I work 40 hours if the job allows. They say the money will be well worth it. Okay, so I will have a lot of money. But I will have no time to do anything with this money. To go from not working at all to going full-time seems a little silly for my age.
When I at first questioned this, I was told how back in the day, we worked full time at the age of 15......You get the idea.
I wouldn't mind having money for once and not living off birthday checks for a while. But what kind of a summer is this for me. I'm only going to be here for another 2 years and I am off on my own. I will work for the rest of my life. I don't see why it is so imperative for me to work full time now.
I am becoming rather impatient with this job thing. I am tired of being told where to apply, how many hours to work, what to do with music. I think tonight, I'm going to have a 'come to jesus meeting' about this. All of my friends with jobs are only working part time in the summer because they actually want to have a summer.
So what do you think. Am I just being lazy? Do I just need to build some work ethic?
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Comments
You're 16, of course you want to enjoy your Summer. Obviously your parents want what's best for you and there's no doubt having some spare cash is a good thing but, as you said, what good is it if you don't have time to enjoy it.
I think you're right with wanting to do 20-25 hours. You've got all you're adult life to put the hours in, enjoy Summer vacations with your friends while you can !
In your come to Jesus, ask them their concerns. Be up front with them. Are they worred you'll get into trouble? Do they suspect you already are into troublesome matter? Are they trying to socialize you into a good 'work ethic'? Are they concerned about you paying for your summer activities? Ask them up front. Be 'mature' about it, whatever that is. Adults many times pull on kid gloves with 'adult' subjects because they have a preconceived idea about who their kid is. I suspect there is some other motivation behind this push.
It doesn't seem to matter to them where you work, they seem to be oriented to the money as a benefit. Up the ante--all work is not equal. Tell them you want the work you do to be a learning experience, something you're interested in, an opportunity that you may not have again. Tell them you have a lot of choices right now and you want to find your own way in the work world. Everyone knows the difference between 'work for money' and 'work for interest/passion'. Those who are lucky can find a balance between the two.
Finally, as someone who works 70+ hours per week--dude! tell your parents to chill!
I said how I wouldn't want to work anymore than 25 hours. I was told that if my employers saw that I wasn't dedicated to work full-time in the summer, they would not want to hire me. It would show a lack of work ethic.
I was told that I would be putting 50% of whatever I made to college. I complained about this for a while too. When the hours thing came back up, I said how none of my friends would be working full time because they wanted to enjoy the summer. I mentioned that I would love to take up fishing this summer with my friend and maybe even learn to hunt. Since I improved my stroke, I would enjoy golfing more too.
Supposedly I will be learning lessons for the rest of my life. But I really believe I need to learn those lessons by myself. Who knows. Maybe some good manual labor will clear my mind here.
Here's an addition to my post here. My dad says that I will be taking 50% of every pay and put it towards the future or whatever. This seems outlandish. I think Team Parent has gone over the line here. They are telling me where I should work, how many hours to work, and how much to save. I felt that 20% was slightly unreasonable but I conceeded and that is my final offer. My friend that works saves 15% by his own will. He thinks my parents are downright mad.
I am becoming agitated. All I want to do my last two summers is golf more. I don't think that is much to ask before I am thrust into the workforce for the next 50 years. The money I make should be mine. I am willing to put a nice portion of it away. I don't know how to get my parents to understand this.
It's simple.
Either they become more flexible and entertain meeting you half way here, or you don't get a job at all. What would they prefer...? Surely there's some room for compromise?
It sounds to me suspiciously as if there are 'control' issues here...
I personally perceive an agitation on their part, over two things:
1) Your Buddhist leanings, as "opposed" to their Christian beliefs...
and
2) The fact that all around them, teenagers of your age are becoming anti-establishment and defiant.... and they don't want you going off the rails, so they're trying to pick up the slack in good time and tighten the reins....
They seem to be trying to knock you back into their shape....
I could be wrong, and I don't mean to disrespect your parents. I'm sure they are very nice people.... they may just be very overly concerned for you, because it's a tough world out there, and they want you to get a good strong footing before all your friends do, to give you a financial advantage....
I can see their point, but from my perspective they're trying to be a bit too tough with their love....
Unlike some kids around me who blow their money in a week, I do want to save money for the future. Just not to this extent. I really don't understand this. I do everything they ask (except clean my room) and more. I have near perfect grades, I choose my friends carefully, I never do drugs or drink, I don't go out late to parties. It seems like they are being overbearing and controlling on this one. Over and over they keep stressing how they don't want me to develop a bad work ethic. :grumble:
Well I can play hardball too. Either I keep 80% of my earnings or I don't get a job at all.
Your parents to me sound like they are avoiding you ending up a bum-just maybe a little too controlling, however. By the same token, I think that establishing a good work ethic etc. may help you in the long run.
hey KOB, ever considered that wanting to be too much like your friends may not get them to as great heights as you will rise too? While fishing, golf and hunting? might be pleasurable pursuits, You will own your own house, car etc. while your spendthrifty mates are standing in the dole queue ? (social security payments for the unemployed). Given a good job, you may not have to work for 50 years!
regards,
Xrayman
Anyway, KOB - I believe you have your head on right.
I was one of those people that started working at 16 - for real - not just for play money - and it sucked. I missed a lot of time with my buddies because I had to work two jobs just to make ends meet. It was depressing and very un-fun.
Enjoy your youth. Like you said, you'll have to work for the rest of your life once you start it in earnest.
But, take the lessons of your parents and have a good work ethic. Work isn't to screw around in and try to get paid "something" for doing "nothing". Take pride in your work. Be honest and ethical with your employers. Finish what you start. Be mindful in how you work.
-bf
I have been freeloading for all my life, except recently where I was being paid by my parents at 8$/hour for contracting work, but they stopped paying me for some reason, so that's run out. Before you get "good" work, you should at least pick up on how to get certain things for free (I learned to hold on to 10$ for 2 weeks without begging or asking for any donations) because that will really help you out as it did for me. If you can, check out Starbucks since they've got a good program, healthcare for all workers plus stock options to all workers, even part time (which I'll signup for).
In the spirit of always looking at the bright side of things, I have a tight schedule between flying, college, and work soon, trying to fit in a 6 month internship so I can transfer from my 2 year to my 4 year (which will be arriving in the fall).
What in the name of the copulating deities is a "bad work ethic"? Have they not read Genesis? Work is the result of Original Sin, a punishment visited on us because of our distant ancestors' fruit obsession!
"Work ethic"! Pshaw!!! Do they mean that they want you to be a compliant coolie? Or are they hoping that you will save enough from the pittance that the young are paid so that you can keep them?
The vacation is not there so that they young can work but so that they can do what is much more important: PLAY! Students are required to work harder than most people will ever do again and it is essential (essential - of the essence) that they be a time off to repair the damage done to the simple goodness that underpins all beings and for preparation for yet another year in the toils of the education machine.
Simon,
You always have a good way of helping us change our views
-bf