pure boredom

shays860

Not quite pure. There's a touch of depression. Okay a large serving of depression. I know this is not a counseling board but this is the only online community I've used at all in years and I just need the sensation of talking to someone...

Lady_Alison

Hey! I'm kinda bored too. Mostly a little sun dazed from trying to lay out and get rid of my henious tan lines caused by jogging in Houston heat.

Why are you depressed?

shays860

I guess it's mostly because I don't have enough friends and/or a significant other. But there is also the phenomenon where perceiving a few things as problems causes you to perceive more things as problems. I usually have my daughter on weekends but she is with her mother this weekend and I have nothing to do. I have only had one decent friend for the past couple years and we are growing even farther apart. I usually entertain myself with video games at times like this but I can't find anything I want to play.... that sounds so petty but I guess the boredom and loneliness is causing the depression...

Lady_Alison

I know how you feel...is there anything stopping you from going out and meeting new people.

Solitude is delicious but loneliness is not.

Human being are programed to be social animals...I'm sure after 5hours of video games or social networking sites you feel drunk with haziness...almost a zombie. Even everquest has that affect...

Too much isolation isn't good.

What kind of things do you like that may include other people?

Do you read? Paint? Bird watch?

vinlyn

Actually, I think avoiding boredom is a key factor in fighting depression. Last night 3 friends were coming over for a "movie night", but it looked like one wouldn't come because he was seriously depressed. His wife talked him into coming after all, and he enjoyed the evening. So, do fight boredom!

Lady_Alison

@vinlyn what movie did u guys see?

shays860

I am very introverted. I don't know if there is a difference but I don't think of myself as shy I just don't know what to say to people. Even with people I know well I don't talk much. One obstacle is that all I really want is a girlfriend and I think I would be good. I don't need a lot of friends. But my current circumstances keep me from pursuing that. I let my youth get away from me and now I'm twenty five and still live with my mother and don't have a god job or any college credits... Oh and there's the fact that I live in Alabama and am ideologically opposite from everyone around me... I read, exercise, work and hang out with my daughter play video games and watch tv here and there... that's usually quite adequate. Today i just had too much free time and nothing to do with it.

shays860

Thanks for the responses guys.

You are right Vinlyn but I found myself weaponless tonight.

Lady_Alison

I'm actually an introvert...with a very well developed extroverted side that I have cultivated by watching people and learning from them...

It's easier for an introvert to learn to be an extrovert than vice versa.

Letting your youth get away from you....hmmm...you're being silly! 25 is a good age...still young, still able to get a mate...your idea of old age is skewed!

Anyway, living with parents is not that bad, they can help you get your life together. What about school?

You're too hard on yourself...when you spend too much time alone, you make problems in your own head.

shays860

Thanks Lady_Alison. I guess everyone gets a little blue every now and then. But it can still be difficult to shake the feeling. I guess I'll just wait it out and meditate in the morning and try to keep my head straight through the day... one kind of ironic thing I just remembered, I had a great meditation session this morning and felt very calm for the first half of the day.

Lady_Alison

I'm opposite ...I wake up angry and then it goes away by 12pm...lol...at least half a day is better than no good day.

Just be easy on yourself...you have a lot of time to get your life in order. But be kind to yourself...we are our worst critics.

DaltheJigsaw

The only thing I can mentioned or suggest that has worked for me is...To pay attention to your depression, to your nasty,dirty, sad and depressed thoughts. Just remember that too shall pass!

vinlyn

@vinlyn what movie did u guys see?

We do a movie night at the house every few weeks, after dinner -- "Something's Gotta Give".

Tosh

Shay, isn't there a local Buddhist group you can get involved with? Too much time on our hands isn't good for us, boredom isn't the root of the problem, the root is a self centred mind (which we all suffer with).

I'm lucky, I'm in A.A., and if ever I'm feeling restless, irritable, or discontented, I can jump in the car and find a meeting; there's about 90 meetings a week within an hours drive of me.

Maybe the community a sangha offers will help with the boredom?

RichardH

Boredom is one of those things that keeps us moving out of avoidance. Sitting , if it is done properly without being entertaining, will arrive at boredom.. Unfortunately that is when many people get up and walk away. Excruciating boredom that says "I'd rather do anything than sit here one more minute" is like gathering "I Want" into a ball that gets squeezed harder and tighter.. until it implodes. Then there is just sitting. So, a good Sangha offers a lot of opportunity for boredom.

skullchin

Talking is good for depression sometimes. But getting active is even better. You should make a list of ten activities you can do and post them here. We will hold you accountable.

shays860

Thanks guys.
Tosh: I wish there were a decent sangha around. There is one (kind of) but it is a bit of a drive and the host was not terribly welcoming the one time I went.

RichardH: Brilliant and funny. I will try to keep that in mind.

Skullchin: It is just the occasional weekend without my daughter that I have this excess of time. And if I am going to add more activities to my schedule I would like them to be something that benefits someone other than myself... maybe volunteering. Any other suggestions?

ZendoLord84

Im bored out of my skull right now.
On the other hand, last night I got the most vivid dream about being shot in the face, including a cracking sounds of the bullet going through my skull.
Followed by the tugging sensation in my brain by a fast metal object piercing it.

So...

There are worse things in life, then being bored, like, getting shot in the face for example.

:P

skullchin

Oh I did not understand it was the occasional weekend. I have no suggestions for additional activities. Maybe enjoy the boredom? That's all I got.

Dakini

Oh, Alabama. hm. I see your problem. Plus--no higher education. You let your youth get away from you? You're only 25! Would your mom be able to help you with college tuition? How good were your highschool grades? Some private universities offer full scholarships to people. What about community college?

You want a girlfriend, but you're unemployed, have no higher education, and you're living with your mother? Dude! Reality check! I'm encouraging you to really think about how to start taking college classes. This will give you a skill and will bring you into contact with other people close enough to your age. Community colleges have people of all ages. Large universities have grad students who would be your age. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!

Please keep us updated as to progress.

RichardH

RichardH: Brilliant and funny. I will try to keep that in mind.

Hey, I wasn't trying to be funny. Boredom in the sense of depression maybe should be addressed... but I am serious about boredom being a good sign in practice..

skullchin

Hey, I wasn't trying to be funny. Boredom in the sense of depression maybe should be addressed... but I am serious about boredom being a good sign in practice..

I wanted to ask about this. It has been years since I've been bored. I have not been able to become bored during meditation. The only thing I can think of doing is meditate more.

RichardH

Hey, I wasn't trying to be funny. Boredom in the sense of depression maybe should be addressed... but I am serious about boredom being a good sign in practice..

I wanted to ask about this. It has been years since I've been bored. I have not been able to become bored during meditation. The only thing I can think of doing is meditate more.

I don't get bored anymore either... because the sitting is just sitting at this point... just because of doing it a lot . The post was about when people begin sitting.. or are just trying to establish a practice. I remember at first being very "Zen".. the cushions and mats in a row, the bowing, the teacher who was a traditional Asian master with a severe aspect. It was something I was into.. a thing to be into.. I was doing Zazen.. It wasn't boring.. it was a scene. Then over time the spiritual glamour faded, the insights and little "Enlightenment" experiences played out.. and I got bored. .. even knee pain was relief from the boredom. Eventually the boredom became like a concentrated ball of "wanting this moment to be other than it is" .. and dropped away . When it dropped away I found myself just sitting with no gain.. no dukkha. very simple.. super simple. That's all . So I am just saying that boredom in meditation means we are getting down to the matter at hand.. IMO.

Lady_Alison

:clap: @richardh...that was a good explanation.

Hey, I wasn't trying to be funny. Boredom in the sense of depression maybe should be addressed... but I am serious about boredom being a good sign in practice..

I wanted to ask about this. It has been years since I've been bored. I have not been able to become bored during meditation. The only thing I can think of doing is meditate more.

I don't get bored anymore either... because the sitting is just sitting at this point... just because of doing it a lot . The post was about when people begin sitting.. or are just trying to establish a practice. I remember at first being very "Zen".. the cushions and mats in a row, the bowing, the teacher who was a traditional Asian master with a severe aspect. It was something I was into.. a thing to be into.. I was doing Zazen.. It wasn't boring.. it was a scene. Then over time the spiritual glamour faded, the insights and little "Enlightenment" experiences played out.. and I got bored. .. even knee pain was relief from the boredom. Eventually the boredom became like a concentrated ball of "wanting this moment to be other than it is" .. and dropped away . When it dropped away I found myself just sitting with no gain.. no dukkha. very simple.. super simple. That's all . So I am just saying that boredom in meditation means we are getting down to the matter at hand.. IMO.

skullchin

@RichardH, ah that makes sense then. I'm glad I asked. Thank you sir!

ZendoLord84

RichardH: Brilliant and funny. I will try to keep that in mind.

Hey, I wasn't trying to be funny. Boredom in the sense of depression maybe should be addressed... but I am serious about boredom being a good sign in practice..

Agreed...