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Daily mindfulness???
I've been trying to stay mindful/conscious through out the day. I find myself being more aware of how I judge others, or dwell into the past or the future, or autopilot myself when doing routine tasks. Though, sometime I think I was forcing myself to be mindful that I find something is not the way it was used to be. For example, I have a 5 years old nephew who I used to usually play around with, but recently when he visited, I don't feel like wanting to join his physical games anymore. He dragged me out to play, but it seemed like being mindful robbed my sense of enjoyment. It used to be fun when I had him around to play with, when I let myself unwind, and naturally do whatever to make him laugh. Now, I felt somewhat controlled and not as excited.
So I did some searching in this and other forum to see how people practice mindfulness daily, I found that most mindfulness practice was of the breath, not much mention of how one being mindful in daily activities, though some mentioned just tried being mindful when you are not busy, like walking or driving. It seem daily mindfulness was not a big issue like I thought it would be. So, I kind of questioned myself, am I approaching it right? Should I stick with only basic sitting meditation and unwind myself during the day? Or to be mindful only on a certain tasks?
I found some post at E-Sangha forum that confused me.
The link to this quote is: http://www.lioncity.net/buddhism/index.php?showtopic=27525&st=0&p=407583&
I can relate myself to what is said in the first post. Though the reply to this post confused me. Have I been on the wrong track?
The above post is at: http://www.lioncity.net/buddhism/index.php?showtopic=110&st=0
So I don't get how is this applied. When I got confused reading this, if I labeled it "confused reading this", it won't help but getting me more tensed. This also has been my long time issue, as when I read something that sound practical and promising but is confusing and put me in doubt, I got insecured.
So I did some searching in this and other forum to see how people practice mindfulness daily, I found that most mindfulness practice was of the breath, not much mention of how one being mindful in daily activities, though some mentioned just tried being mindful when you are not busy, like walking or driving. It seem daily mindfulness was not a big issue like I thought it would be. So, I kind of questioned myself, am I approaching it right? Should I stick with only basic sitting meditation and unwind myself during the day? Or to be mindful only on a certain tasks?
I found some post at E-Sangha forum that confused me.
Dear Lozzy,Lozzy,Mar 26 2006, 07:09 AM wrote:I've been reading about Buddhism for almost a year now, and find it really 2) Mindfulness seems like an impossibility. If I watch what I'm doing for every moment, I lose my spontaneousity (is that a word?). I've always been a bit of a joker around friends, but I feel like if I lose myself joking and having fun, I'm not being mindful. Is Right Concentration killing our sense of enjoyment? Can we be Buddhas and still enjoy a joke?
Real mindfulenss is IMHO almost the opposite of what you describe. Sati (mindfulness) of the Noble eightfold path can only arise during the time of a Buddha who can teach about no self. Anyone 'watching' in the way you describe is becoming SELF conscious- they are going the wrong way. Understanding the teachings of the Buddha increases happiness and enjoyment because understanding always comes with pleasant or neutral feeling. Misunderstanding them however..
Robertk
The link to this quote is: http://www.lioncity.net/buddhism/index.php?showtopic=27525&st=0&p=407583&
I can relate myself to what is said in the first post. Though the reply to this post confused me. Have I been on the wrong track?
One of the most important aspects of starting to meditate is living mindfully when you're not 'offically meditating'. I've only just begun to realise how important this is, and it really, really makes a difference. One practice I've begun to employ is 'thought labelling'. Whenever a thought appears, give it a label, and treat it objectively, e.g. "Thinking about cheese sandwiches", "Worrying about being late" etc. Note the lack of "I am" in these labels. Doing this as often as possible will begin to allow you to see thoughts for what they realy are, and break their hold on your mind. It's important to see them as nothing more than clouds drifting across an otherwise clear sky - sometimes there's lots of clouds, and sometimes there's none, but you know that the clear blue sky is in fact always there even though it may be obscured, and that the clouds are nothing but insubstantial vapour - they're not really the sky.
Also be aware that in meditation, it can appear that thoughts become more frequent and stronger - this is a good sign, since they appear like this because you're actually becoming more aware of them than you were. They were in the background before, you've just noticed them due to an increase in your concentration.
The above post is at: http://www.lioncity.net/buddhism/index.php?showtopic=110&st=0
So I don't get how is this applied. When I got confused reading this, if I labeled it "confused reading this", it won't help but getting me more tensed. This also has been my long time issue, as when I read something that sound practical and promising but is confusing and put me in doubt, I got insecured.
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Comments
Being mindful simply means staying in the present moment and 'doing' without commentary...
Like washing dishes...
As you wash dishes, you note the feel and flow of the water, the soapy bubbles, the plate going from dirty to clean, the rinsing, the setting down to dry...But without any commentary in your head, that says "I note the feel and flow of water, the soapy bubbles, the plate going from dirty to clean...." etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.... you just 'do' and not have a continuous babble in the head at the same time. Just 'Be' in the Present Moment. But don't flog, berate or punish yourself if you stray away from it. So what? we all do. With all the distractions around us, that's the way it is.....
Just relax and let go.
It really is no more complicated than that.
I also sometimes experience what Ro does, being too conscious of breath and it feels like it's mechanical breathing. What I typically do then is to relax my belly and allow myself to take short breaths. I focus not on breathing but on the in and out of my belly. This is similar to the practice of 'paying attention to the origin and end of the breath'. That is, watching for where a breath starts and where it ends.
After a few minutes of this, my breathing slows way down, my arms begin to settle down, and my body is doing its meditation while my mind is being here now. Then I can resume counting breaths.
Peace.
As a fellow student, I think you can be mindful (recollected) in daily life, but I believe it may not be very possible until you can establish it firmly in your contemplative (formal meditation) life. Another way of thinking about mindfulness is that sati also means recollection or memory, which means calling to mind something that is not immediately apparent--so it is not an everyday extroverted consciousness, but, as you seem aware, it is an introversive kind of orientation. This kind of mindfulness is almost like a tangible, growing thing inside you, you can almost sense it as a presence, which brings to my mind the sense in which Catholics use the word "recollection". Taking into consideration that as Buddhists we do not necessarily believe in the Catholic God, we can still have a sense that there is a very strong similarity between the Buddha's teaching of sati and the catholic idea of recollection. For a little more info: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/12676b.htm
When it is very small and weak, it requires a lot of attention and effort to develop and be aware of. The effort required is noticeably distracting from everyday activities. As it grows, (you grow it mainly through your focused practice of meditation) however, it becomes easier and easier to touch and be aware of as an internal quality you can have access to in every activity. Maybe we could compare it to a tree growing in the backyard. When it is a seedling, we hardly notice it, it takes our detailed attention to even know it is growing there in the grass and avoid trampling it. As it becomes a sapling, it is easier to see, but it still requires care and protection, and we could uproot it. Finally, when the sapling is a mature tree, it casts its shade for us to enjoy, it is sturdy and tall, and we may even climb it to get a higher perspective (further meditation--jhana).
in friendliness,
V.
You're still trying too hard.
When you were with your nephew you should have enjoyed yourself and had as much fun as possible. That's mindfulness. But you were not thinking about your nephew or paying attention to your nephew. You were distracted by your thoughts. That's unmindful, the opposite of being mindful. Instead of being fully present with your nephew and giving him your full attention, part of your mind was distracted and not present. Your preoccupation with mindfulness practice actually produced the opposite of the results you desired. (This is also called irony, by the way.)
I'm glad that you quoted this post from E-Sangha: This is a good explanation. (IMHO means "In my humble opinion" in case you didn't know.)
What RobertK is saying is true and applies to you. You're over thinking the whole thing and becoming self conscious like Lozzie, which is not a good thing.
My first humble suggestion would be to stop practicing mindfulness for the moment. There are thousands of Buddhist practices that are helpful and perhaps reading The Noble Eightfold Path would be a good thing to do right now. Just become familiar with it, don't study it in any depth.
Then read the Five Precepts and become familiar with them.
My third humble suggestion would be to learn about the practice of compassion in Buddhism. Practicing compassion will be a very important exercise for you and I'm very confident that it will be a great help. What I would suggest is that you read about practicing compassion from a few different Buddhist sources and perspectives. You can do a search on the internet by typing "buddhism compassion" into your search engine and you'll come up with lots of different information. I honestly believe, very strongly, that if you start to investigate the practice of compassion in Buddhism, other things will start to fall into place.
Many people come to Buddhism for comfort from their suffering. Buddhism teaches that if you want to stop your suffering you should think about the suffering of others and feel empathy and compassion for others. This is important, ro10, and it applies to your suffering as well. When you stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about others, good changes will take place and you will gain better understanding.
Let us know how you get along.
Brigid
As I was reading, I noticed that two persons had mentioned difficulty with mindfulness of breathing. One thing mentioned is that someone paid more attention to the counting than the breathing. In my practice, I would stop for a moment, acknowledge the thought and what I was doing, and then let it go. I imagine it going away in a bubble. It doesn't matter how many times I have to do it until the thought is gone as some thoughts are more stubborn.
What about the really stubborn ones? Those are things that I must look at after I'm done meditating. If I acknowledge to myself that I will look at that after I'm done meditating, that will usually take care of it. If not, deal with it then. That does take some practice, but it is doable.
Also, the best way to introduce compassion into your life is during your meditation practice. Those times when our thoughts get in and take over is a chance to redirect oneself in a firm yet compassionate way. I still count 1-10. I've noticed between breaths 3-7 a thought tries to come in. If I let myself get lost in it, I acknowledge it and remind myself to go back to my breath without judgement.
Now one would think that in my line of work (health care) that I always do it mindfully. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Distributing medications to patients is rather dull after the first year. Sometimes though, in a hurry, it can feel like the meds are distributing me. I will stop then and take a deep breath or two and take control back. There are always opportunities to practice mindfulness. I've started with solitary activities or sometimes when I'm holding my partner's hand. These are times that are lower stress and easier to incorporate mindfulness. Hope some of this helps.
Thank you for replying. So I guess I should stop trying to do what I'm doing, I think once again I'm on the wrong track.
Brigid, I don't know how to apply compassion, isn't compassion go together with wisdom. But I'm pretty ignorance!!! :banghead:
Sorry for the whining...
Yes, compassion goes hand in hand with wisdom and you have both, even though you don't realize it.
First you must learn about compassion and you can do that through various sources. Do you have access to books by Thich Nhat Hanh or His Holiness the Dalai Lama? They are very good at explaining compassion and the ways in which to develop it in our hearts.
You can also find lots of information on the Web about Buddhist compassion. Just do a search and you will find what you need. This is more along the lines of study that you're used to do as a student. As you study about compassion you will learn how to develop and apply it in your everyday life.
I'm so glad you're thinking about compassion! Studying it has helped me so much and it will help you, especially when it comes to your self confidence. In a few days I will post a thread with some thoughts about compassion from His Holiness the Dalai Lama, so come back often. It's a good topic to discuss and I'd like to be of any help to you that I can.
I'm very impressed by your willingness not to give up. You have a strong will and that is a very good thing. It will take you where you want to go. Diligence is very highly thought of in Buddhism, as you will learn. You have so many wonderful qualities and I'm looking forward to the day that you can see them as well as I can.
Your friend,
Brigid
When mindfulness practice helps you, practice mindfulness. When mindfulness practice hinders you, back off a bit. Just notice that it is becoming a burden. Mindfulness should never be a burden.
_/\_
metta
Brigid, do you refer a certain book? For Thay Thich Nhat Hanh, I can read his Vietnamese version.
Thank you. I'm looking forward to it.
Yes, read anything by Thay Thich Nhat Hanh. And I'll post the titles of some books by His Holiness the Dalai Lama soon.
Brigid
exactly!
There is a quotation from Star Wars' Yoda, that has found 'popularity' on this board (one member has it as their signature):
" 'Do' or 'Do Not' - There is no 'Try'. "
you are absolutely right to say that to stop trying what you're doing is the secret.... over-effort is a burden, and though Right Effort is one of the "Signposts" of the Eightfold Path, excessive effort is a struggle.
I think there has to be a certain amount of relaxation, of acceptance, that we can't learn and perfect things overnight - if ever -!!
Nor are we expected to.... But the quotation above refers to certain aspects of Effort which should not entail too much effort in the first place.... such as being rude and swearing, for example.... Don't TRY to not be rude or swear, simply - Don't.
Don't TRY to meditate...meditate!
Aing....Pop over to the Lotus Lounge, and in the index, you'll find a thread, titled 'New Members' Introduction thread'.... Go in there and sign the 'guest-book'... and make yourself right at home.
Welcome.