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My modern, non-politically correct, westernized version of the Eight Fold Path

seeker242seeker242 ZenFlorida, USA Veteran
edited May 2012 in General Banter
1. Right Intention

Stop being a selfish, lazy, good for nothing bum.

2. Right View

Stop thinking you know everything because you don't know jack squat. The Buddha is way smarter than you, just do what he says.

3. Right Speech

Stop being a lying asshole who runs their mouth constantly for no reason.

4. Right Action

Stop acting like an asshole and stop doing stupid shit.

5. Right Livelihood

Don't make a living being an asshole or doing stupid shit.

6. Right Effort

Kick yourself in the ass and stop being a lazy, good for nothing bum.

7. Right Mindfulness

Stop being a drama queen for Christ's sake.

8. Right Concentration

Sit your ass on the meditation cushion and shut up already.

:D

Comments

  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    Can i quote this? Haha
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    I especially like this part:

    3. Right Speech

    Stop being a lying asshole who runs their mouth constantly for no reason.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    Well..... I have to admit it's different..... somehow it lacks the poetic depth of the original, but I can see where you're coming from......
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    ...Stop being a selfish, lazy, good for nothing bum.
    ....Stop being a lying asshole who runs their mouth constantly for no reason.
    ....Stop acting like an asshole and stop doing stupid shit.
    ....Don't make a living being an asshole or doing stupid shit.
    .....Kick yourself in the ass and stop being a lazy, good for nothing bum.
    .....Sit your ass on the meditation cushion and shut up already.

    :D
    Very good, but a bit anal..... :p
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran

    The scold version.... :D


    ...and I defend my right to be a lying, lazy, good-for-nothing, know-at-all, drama queen, doing stupid shit... and suffer the consequences... so there... :p


  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    this is becoming not funny.
    It might be light-hearted banter, but let's not resort to mind-less idiocy.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited May 2012
    this is becoming not funny.
    It might be light-hearted banter, but let's not resort to mind-less idiocy.
    mindless idiocy? now that is an unfunny scold .
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    Mind-less as opposed to mindful, not mindless as opposed to brainless.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    :o
  • TheswingisyellowTheswingisyellow Trying to be open to existence Samsara Veteran
    Like :)
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