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according to buddhism, what would be 'Right Action' in this situation?

zenmystezenmyste Veteran
edited May 2012 in Buddhism Basics
If a family man of 2 kids and a wonderful wife finds himself practising buddhism and enjoys meditation, but his wife DOESNT..

And then every once and awhile he would like to attend a 'meditation retreat' or a buddhist retreat. (Not for long, just even a weekend retreat or the 10day vipassana retreats..

But what if his wife objects and says 'you shouldn't need to go on a retreat to meditate and leave your kids when you have responsibility at home..

So what does the man do??

Is the 'right' action to stay at home and not attend a retreat. (This Could just be the mans only hobbie, just like his wife going to spa's and shows etc etc)

What are your opinions fellow buddhists? :-)

Comments

  • ZeroZero Veteran
    If there are responsibilities to face then best to face them.
    If it's a hobby then this shouldn't distract from the responsibilities.
    Mutually compromise.
  • TalismanTalisman Veteran
    Make a deal.

    You go on retreat this weekend, and she can go spend some time at a spa next weekend, that way you both have an opportunity to do something each of you enjoys without one person feeling like they are left out.
  • ozenozen
    Hire a babysitter.
  • GuiGui Veteran
    Have a heart to heart with his wife to find out if what she really is saying is,"I'm afraid you're going to leave us".
  • BonsaiDougBonsaiDoug Simply, on the path. Veteran
    edited May 2012
    Have a heart to heart with his wife to find out if what she really is saying is,"I'm afraid you're going to leave us".
    You really do need to have this conversation with your wife along with the forum members. You're making it sound like it's an all-or-nothing situation. There is probably room for compromise.

    I had a very similar conversation with my wife, and we've managed a very workable compromise. She's a Roman Catholic, and I've taken formal Refuge Vows in the Theravada tradition. It will work if you both work at it.
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    edited May 2012
    What are your opinions fellow buddhists? :-)

    The wife should convert to Buddhism.. :p

    Only joking! As others have said, it's about compromise and negotiation.

  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    In a really good relationship, I think both the husband and the wife need to have things they do together, but also need to have things they do separately. And each should be able to sacrifice a little when they are doing their "apart" things.
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