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Advice needed

edited May 2006 in Buddhism Basics
HELP!!! I found myself reverting back to old habits, and now that I have given up maybe 90% of my Christian upbringing, I am coming down hard on my "old" religion, I still retain bits of it, and find it a very "warm" religion, but after seeing a certain movie and the protests around it, I am having a serious problem practicing compassion. I even got to the point where I made a very unwelcome gesture to the protesters, almost opening my window and yelling vulgar language at them. I am in a serious problem here because I'm constantly being bombarded with Catholic principles, and I've seen evidence of some brutal practices in the Catholic church that surely no God (I chose to believe in one) or religious figure would approve of such brutal practices as murder, mass execution (in the past) or oppression of women (also in the past). Most of the movie was fiction, but these are disturbing facts, and it's becoming almost impossible for me to practice acceptance and compassion for those who bombard me with Catholic values (my own family included). I did my best, I educated them on Buddhist teachings, never arguing, but merely teaching them about something they know nothing about.

What am I to do? I am able to practice compassion and kindness towards one religion, but it has led to the complete opposite for another. Is it ok for me to be a Buddhist-Christian? I can't erase my upbringing, it would feel very wrong to me. I'm totally lost, and I think I need to try to have more chillout sessions, and meditate more often to try to clear my mind of verbal slander and attacks, and to calm myself back down.

Comments

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited May 2006
    Life's a Bitch, ain't it....?

    Read this thread...the author had a really good handle on how to view others....
    Simply clear and brilliant....

    ;)
  • edited May 2006
    hehe, thanks :grin: I am blind to those principles, I should practice them more :-/

    But a Christian-Buddhist or vice-versa, is that ok :confused: That would make me feel perfect and heppy.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited May 2006
    Hmmmmm...

    Ultimately, what you decide, is of course, up to you....

    But if you read my Signature/Quotations, you'll see a comment made by our very own ZenMonk....

    I would never seek to "Rain on your Parade"...
    But to put myself forward as an example, I was a long-standing, practising Roman Catholic, (See the "Teaching Religions in Schools" Thread...I have given a brief outline of my history in there, at the beginning....) before I embarked on a Buddhist path... This was more than ten years ago....

    I took Refuge around six years ago....

    I finally "shed my baggage" regarding God about six months ago...


    Give yourself time, space and forgiveness...

    It's not an easy procedure... and it is one that only you can engineer and channel.

    But be comfortable and patient with yourself...the hardest fight is the internal one....
  • edited May 2006
    Yes Gregc, u need to chillout... You don't need to erase your upbringing. There is no need to. Keep in mind that Catholic principles have many good values too, the same as Buddhism. Don't get angry or irritated with those who bombard you with Catholic values, they most probably have your best interest at heart.. Focus on the good things. Sometimes, brutal practices occur not because the principles are less than correct but rather the misinterpretation done by humans..

    Sorry, if i didn't help much.. I'm not exactly good at advices... (Look at the my number of posts! wink!)

    Take care n chill out ya...

    With metta,
    Amara
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited May 2006
    "One wise word from a fool is better than a meaningless sermon from a wise man".

    I don't know who said this.
    I think it was me.

    But I've heard it, already, in different forms, I'm sure...


    Not that I'm calling you a Fool, Amara...

    But you get the gist....:grin:
  • edited May 2006
    Thank you very much for the help, I am having a discussion with a friend, and with all the advice I'm getting, I was able to relax all the the pressure I was under, now I do feel much better.... I feel "clean" now and much more inner peace than I came home with. Thank you very much!
  • edited May 2006
    Haha You really are funny, Federica!

    Listen to Federica, Gregc, she's usually right! wink!
  • edited May 2006
    merr is ok to be christian buddhist, just resort back to the basics of buddhism

    best thing you can do is accept things the way they are, once you do that is little problem, trust me my mind is way more screwed up than yours.. and i ain't talking bout it lol
  • edited May 2006
    Transitions are tough, aren't they? :)
  • JerbearJerbear Veteran
    edited May 2006
    Greg,
    As a former Bible beater, I understand what you mean. When I see people using the Bible to tout whatever they want to say negative things about really irks me. I no longer practice nor believe Christianity but that doesn't mean others don't have the right to practice their religion as they see fit. What the problem becomes is when it interferes with others rights to me. I But I also remember that these people are fellow sufferers. I find myself wishing "metta" towards them when I get really torqued up about it. Sure, it still gets to me, but realizing they are of the same stuff I am helps to see that they are fellow sufferers also. Let me also say that takes a lot of work. I much rather let them know what I think by nature. Practicing kindness to someone one is irritated by isn't easy. But when I truly stop and think about how they could be suffering at the moment, it does make it a bit easier.
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited May 2006
    gregc wrote:
    Transitions are tough, aren't they? :)

    Yes, they are. That's why they're so useful.

    You've overlooked one major thing, though, Greg; the fact that your awareness has changed to such a degree that you would actually go through this experience and then think about it, and then even write about it. You probably wouldn't have done this a few short years ago. You're growing up and you're doing it the right way, thoughtfully.

    You don't have to call yourself anything but I've been coming across a lot of people who call themselves Christian Buddhists and it works very well for them. Strictly speaking, it's impossible to be both. However, rigid thinking about these things is never helpful and if calling yourself a Christian Buddhist works for you as it does for many, you have every right in the world to call yourself that. Only you can know what will be useful to you on this journey. I never had to go through this when I made the decision to follow The Middle Way because I had already given up my allegiance to all religions, including the one into which I was born. So giving myself fully to Buddhism was hardly a struggle at all, except that it took a while before I would call myself a Buddhist. Even now I prefer to say I follow the Buddhist Way.

    It's all about rigidity. Those protesters are rigidly holding on to their ideas of God and religion. They break in a stiff breeze and suffer for and from their attachment. If you remain flexible, knowing that they are fellow sentient beings who wish to be happy and free from suffering just like yourself, that there is positive and negative in everything and that nothing is a threat to your understanding of reality except your own rigid thinking, then you are free from feeling any need to respond at all and you will bend in a strong wind, and not break. The more you develop a flexible mind the less you will suffer and the more unassailable you will be.

    Much love,
    Brigid
  • edited May 2006
    Thank you for the insight, I've gained understanding of compassion and the whole situation I'm in.

    For me, I found the bond to Catholicism is too strong, it's at a point where I would suffer greatly if I gave it up. I have had another chance to think of where I stand, and I remember the quote "God has no religion" and that helps me as well. I am able to say I "belong" to both ends of an extreme because I have adopted the view that as long as I convince myself of the existence of a God (Buddhist teachings don't go either way from what I understand), then I am "cool". The three Abrahamic religions all believe in the same God, but all call him a different name, that is why there is tolerance amongst the three in the respective holy books. We just let surface analysis get to us, that is why I went through my whole ordeal. With the dream and current interests, my mind has just learned tolerance of others, a more philisophical outlook on this life in general. It is necessary to classify ourselves as a religion, as it creates bonds amongst us, it creates a warmth that if we were without, would make our lives confused and we would lose our sense of purpose. The classification of ourselves as a religion is a change of mentality, never permanent, we are never branded with a religion, it is merely a set of ideals we choose to embrace, one that makes us feel complete, provides the warmth we otherwise cannot feel.
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited May 2006
    That makes a great deal of sense to me, Greg. Nice writing, btw.
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