just when I was getting irritated

AMH

I was frustrated because so many people do not return calls. Argh. At work I am having trouble getting my orders of supplies for camp and no check up calls. With my ex I was frustrated. My kids didn't wake when I called and one needed to use the car for work. And then my best buddie and I are going out tonight, she never gets out. Between cancer and a severly autistic son this is a big deal. And no calls.

Well I am humbled, again. The ex called and immediatly said he is getting me money, i am paying rent for my daughter this month because she was unable to work. My other daughter was on time for work and didn't get angry at me (one of my concerns).

Then i got a text back from my friend. It was her son. She is sick and he is talking to the DR's, I get strong 'knowledge' about people and sometimes I block what i don't want to know. However she is not doing well and I am not sure she is going to survive her cancer. I just really wanted to take her out and have a relaxing time with dinner and a movie, she deserves it beyond what you can imagine. It has been so hard to do anything for her, i have tried to bring dinner and she has not answered the door or phone (sometimes she is just too sick or embarrased about her home).

PrairieGhost

AMH

I was frustrated because so many people do not return calls.

Just to say I read this post. I don't have any advice. I hope your friend is ok.

AMH

thank you, she is in the hospital with pain and tremors. I will go see her today.

Tosh

I've had a few family members die of cancer, and with one of them it was difficult because she almost seemed embarrassed to have cancer; she withdrew and isolated herself from everyone except her husband.

She would speak to us on the phone, but she did not want us to see her; we respected that and weren't pushy, but it would've been nice to just go and have a chat with her. I think death is really a taboo subject in the West; it's a shame I think, because we are all going to experience it.

I spoke to lady with bowel cancer yesterday; only that I didn't know she had bowel cancer at the time. She's a runner and we were at a running event and I asked her why she wasn't running and then she got a little awkward with me and said that my partner knew the reason why she wasn't running, but she didn't say why and I didn't push for an answer because I knew something was amiss. Later my partner told me she had bowel cancer.

I dunno, but if I had bowel cancer, I'd say, "I can't run, I've got ruddy bowel cancer!" and hopefully I'd follow that up with a smile and a little joke.

But it's easy for me to be 'brave' about my own death when it doesn't seem imminent, maybe I'll be completely different when I do get bowel cancer?

I hope your friend is okay, AMH. I've just said a little prayer for her, not that I believe it'll do her any good.

AMH

aww tosh, a prayer does help IMHO, we are all connected so it connects to her

I don't have a good feeling, well who would when she is in the hospital. But I have known about others illnesses and impending death even when they didn't tell me anything. I called work for her, that is the one thing she will let me do. I used to work at the same place so i know all the managers and talked to the store manager. I am going to church now to give a dharma talk about community. My repeated phrase (since I have never been on retreat) is "I have gone nowhere" ending with "I am now here" (that was a suggestion from a friend). It is only 5 minutes but seems very appropriate today.