Being mindful of arrogance

Mindfull

Hi All.

I have been practising Buddhism for a while now, I meet a lot of different people who place there believes into many different new age styles. The other day I was speaking to a friend of mine who follows only one religion Aussie rules Football, lol. We started talking about new age beliefs, and he said that he thought that all new age people he meets or even has met thru me have an arrogance about them, I'm better than you attitude and feels like they are judging who he is all the time.

My response to that, was do I come across like that to you, his answer was no, because I know who you are, I said maybe you need to know who they are before passing judgement back onto them.

Does anyone out there have any thoughts or maybe have expierenced this themselves?

RebeccaS

Some people are just arrogant, you'll find them in all religions and ascribing to all belief systems. I don't think it's fair to blow everyone off (though I'm frequently guilty of doing just that) but it does seem that certain kinds of people gravitate to certain beliefs. Birds of a feather flock together kind of thing.

There's a lot of nonsense in a lot of new agey types of beliefs, and it often has a certain amount of glamour to it (think of the law of attraction thing - you wish hard enough for something and you get it - it's very misleading) and if you believe you can wish a golden car into your garage you're probably going to see yourself as pretty powerful and that can lead to arrogance.

It's just one example, but I think that because a lot of new age stuff is BS it's appealing to people who are prone to BS themselves. Just a theory though.

karasti

I have, and to me it always seems like those people who feel so judged, feel that way about many other groups of people, too. I think it's more so insecurity about themselves, they usually feel they are lacking in some way because they don't have a spiritual practice (or whatever it happens to be depending on the group) and they feel threatened by people who do have a practice. Every time I've seen it, it's been as judgement on a person or a group of people they don't even know. I hear that a lot when I talk about trying to buy mostly organic products when I can. Even close friends of mine have told me that my practice of buying organic makes them feel like they are inferior to me. I stopped talking about it to them at all, and it still comes up. Just the fact that I do it, offends them, most likely out of guilt/envy.

Bunks

Yeah - interesting thread - being from Melbourne I can relate to the Aussie Rules religion!! :-)

Anyway, I have to confess that when I hear my colleagues sitting around talking about watching TV shows like The Voice and those other tacky programs, I feel like I should be telling them that they should be using their time more wisely rather than looking for meaningless distractions. I actually feel a bit arrogant and that I must be a bit smarter than them. I have to be mindful and let this go and realise the reasons why they do it.

mfranzdorf

Some people are just arrogant, you'll find them in all religions and ascribing to all belief systems. I don't think it's fair to blow everyone off (though I'm frequently guilty of doing just that) but it does seem that certain kinds of people gravitate to certain beliefs. Birds of a feather flock together kind of thing.

There's a lot of nonsense in a lot of new agey types of beliefs, and it often has a certain amount of glamour to it (think of the law of attraction thing - you wish hard enough for something and you get it - it's very misleading) and if you believe you can wish a golden car into your garage you're probably going to see yourself as pretty powerful and that can lead to arrogance.

It's just one example, but I think that because a lot of new age stuff is BS it's appealing to people who are prone to BS themselves. Just a theory though.

Well stated! Never really thought about it like that.

zombiegirl

I've experienced that sort of behavior a lot with being a vegetarian. Sometimes when I divulge I am a vegetarian, I experience such a backlash of negativity. It used to confuse me why some meat-eaters would take it upon themselves to try and change my dietary habits in such a personal way... Why get so angry that I don't eat meat? How does that actually affect you? But then I realized, the only reason for such inflamed emotions could be because they are feeling judged. They equate vegetarianism with "I'm better than you" "I don't kill animals, you do" and feel a judgement even when there isn't one being stated. It's a great example of prejudices influencing our perception of reality. But of course, there are a great deal of vegetarians like that in the world... my ex being one, lol.

To draw this into the OP, I think that religion can be much the same for many people. People who left Christianity (or whatever religion) out of a conscious decision can sometimes put on airs of what they left behind. They can sometimes feel like whatever they are into RIGHT NOW, the new big thing, is so much better than what they left behind. I think some people just observe the fact that someone made a choice to move away from something (a religion, eating meat, etc) and assume judgement, but of course, not everyone is like this.

DairyLama

It's just one example, but I think that because a lot of new age stuff is BS it's appealing to people who are prone to BS themselves. Just a theory though.

Most of the new-age types I've met don't seem to want to commit to one thing or another, so a vague mix-and-match approach is probably appealing.

Mindfull

Rebecca thats funny and so true .

This girl I know was exactly like that, I deserve the best, no one can break me, I rule the world, I meditate everyday to own everything I want. The first time I went over to house with some friends for dinner, I couldn't believe what I saw, a house full of Buddhas and aspiration notes posted everywhere, I said wow I love your Buddhas, she said yeah I love her face, I said which is the she one, they all are aren't they? So not to make her feel bad I said yeah of course, I went back the day after and gave her the overview of Buddhism, she now has been practising Buddhism for 6 month, and funny enough she doesn't want to rule the world or own everything now, strange that lol

Ficus_religiosa

Rebecca thats funny and so true .

This girl I know was exactly like that, I deserve the best, no one can break me, I rule the world, I meditate everyday to own everything I want. The first time I went over to house with some friends for dinner, I couldn't believe what I saw, a house full of Buddhas and aspiration notes posted everywhere, I said wow I love your Buddhas, she said yeah I love her face, I said which is the she one, they all are aren't they? So not to make her feel bad I said yeah of course, I went back the day after and gave her the overview of Buddhism, she now has been practising Buddhism for 6 month, and funny enough she doesn't want to rule the world or own everything now, strange that lol

My mother-in-law recently told, that her colleague had just bought a female Buddha picture... I was like "Ooh.. Riight.." I see why people would think it's a she - at least they stopped thinking Buddha is a god. Now we just need them to stop confusing Hotei and Buddha - and, as it seems, a female Buddha :P

About the OP, well I guess some get a "holier-than-thou" but I don't experience it a lot Like I wrote in another thread, I think most people who seek for a better, more spiritual life, find odd beliefs and spread ignorance (both in a buddhist sense as well as in the usual way - things which tend to make the simple complicated and the complicated simple)

zenknight

The ego is a very tricky thing. I've encountered many arrogant people on the spiritual path. They feel validated by their new found spiritual practice and they feel that they are finally somebody because they are this or they are that. Like many of us they need to feel special and important. I once took a Tai Chi class that I had to drop because I felt there was too much ego in the room. Many were doing Tai Chi for the wrong reasons. To become a master. In other words to become important. Just because you have been meditating for six months it doesn't mean you have transcended your ego. It takes many years of sitting and practice- slowly, gradually the ego begins to fall away- after years of practice a true compassion starts to set in. A new understanding and vision of life begins to take form. You are then ready to exchange your happiness for the happiness of others. Through true authentic empathy and compassion you start to really live the vows of the Bodhisattva and want to liberate not only yourself but everyone else from the world of samasara. You see yourself as one with all. You finally understand right view and the concept of emptiness. Keep practicing until the way you see the world comes from the heart and not the mind.