Just had a very interesting experience - I'd appreciate your comments

Zenshin

Ok so I've been doing some research and have come across stuff about Vipassana inducing psychosis in susceptible subjects. Also I read some stuff in Brad Warner's hardcore Zen about Shikantaza bringing one's "demons" to the surface. I'd read some stuff about Metta practice actually helping people with serious mental illnesses but I'm a lusty sort and feelings of desire can be aroused by Metta practice so I'm wary. I should point out to anyone not in the know that I've been diagnosed with Schizophrenia after years of heavy pot smoking (been clean for ages). I turned to Buddhism as a way of augmenting conventional psychiatry hoping that meditation would help calm and clear my mind during a period of mental ill health that has continued for over a year and has only recently started to abate. Given the above data I was ready to give up meditation and the Dharma for good.

Anyway this afternoon I came across some threads about pure land chanting as a form of meditation on another board, used in conjunction with the breath, plus the mindfulness of the Buddha described in the Theravada scriptures but with Amida as its focus rather than Shakyamuni. Given that the pure land is open even to ex-crooks with brain burn I thought what have I got to lose - I'll give it a try.

So I sat two sessions of about 25 minutes and got a similar feeling to sitting Samatha practice as described in the Theravada scriptures. About 20 minutes later after phoning my GF I began to get an upsurge of feeling similar to Metta practice - mind you I've felt the same after sitting Shikanataza but it just kept building and building and I was literally radiating Metta to the whole of creation with very little effort at a much more powerful "level" - I mean on the Metta Meter (tm) it would have been off the scale. It lasted for about an hour then fizzled out (damn you impermanence). But right now I feel totally de-stressed and mentally healthy.

Your thoughts and comments are as always appreciated.

Jeffrey

Hi I'm schizophrenic and just wanted to say that it is interesting hearing another's perspective. I meditate 'openness' meditation and that sometimes brings more voices and surely the voices HATE me to meditate. For a week I did 6 hours meditation a day, but I have gotten off of the track.. Metta meditation the voices feel I am giving "lovehandles" which is a harmful experience to whomever I am giving sending and taking or metta, kuruna etc...

So I know of complications of schizo. I think shikantaza is probably similar to 'openness' as taught by Pema Chodron, Trungpa Rinpoche, and my teacher, Shenpen Hookham.

Don't get caught in peak experiences imo.

lamaramadingdong

Jeffrey- are you schziphrenic or do you have schizophrenia? Just wondering how you view that? Thanks again for all your insight here- I always read your posts with great interest.

Jeffrey

lama, either way it's the same phenomena. Call it what you will. I'd say I am a person first and in no way a label. And I have a brain disease.

lamaramadingdong

Thanks- thats the way I see it as well.

Sile

Sounds wonderful, @Lonely_Traveller. I know we're not supposed to cling too tightly to good experiences in meditation, not get hooked on them, but at the same time a deep feeling of metta sounds profound. It just goes to show that our minds can surprise us, and there's no need to assume we are helplessly stuck in any one group of patterns.

It sounds like it was more than just a positive experience, too, maybe a deeper state of mind experiencing or recognizing that metta. Very awesome.

DairyLama

Anyway this afternoon I came across some threads about pure land chanting as a form of meditation on another board, used in conjunction with the breath, plus the mindfulness of the Buddha described in the Theravada scriptures but with Amida as its focus rather than Shakyamuni.
... I mean on the Metta Meter (tm) it would have been off the scale. It lasted for about an hour then fizzled out (damn you impermanence). But right now I feel totally de-stressed and mentally healthy.

Chanting really seems to work for some people, maybe it engages the emotions more directly? Anyway, why not go with it for a while and see what develops?

OtioseDodge

Tangentially related: http://theamericanscholar.org/living-with-voices/

Particularly like the part where one guy's voice recommended that he engage in Buddhist practices!

upekka

I began to get an upsurge of feeling similar to Metta practice - mind you I've felt the same after sitting Shikanataza but it just kept building and building and I was literally radiating Metta to the whole of creation with very little effort at a much more powerful "level" - I mean on the Metta Meter (tm) it would have been off the scale.

this is what Buddhism called Metta Appamana (measureless loving kindness)
Good On You

Many people have to try and try for year to get this stage
it seems you come to this stage very quickly and without doubt you have had practice meditation in your previous births (or in this itself previously)

It lasted for about an hour then fizzled out (damn you impermanence).

this is Insight (vipassana wisdom)
now you know such a Bliss too is not permenant

what you have to do is

next time when this happens, remind your mind 'this too will pass' and try to get the Equanimity (upekka)
the enimies for getting into upekka are:
1. your mind makes you proud by making you think that you are a special person (better than others)
2. you will forget this impermenancy of your experience
work on the above two, you will be in Equanimity
once you will be able to reach Equanimity try to maintain it using your full Effort

But right now I feel totally de-stressed and mentally healthy.

probably you do not have to worry about the above 1. and 2. because you are already at Equanimity

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

think you should gain a Gold Medal in Buddhist Olimpic

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