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Share your acts of kindness here!
mindatrisk
Veteran
As the title states, very simple... share your acts of kindness here.
This has a dual purpose.
Firstly, sharing your acts of kindness will inspire others here. It will give us ideas for how we can act more kindly. It will also provide a little space of hope - a place where in our darkest moments we can visit and see all the good that is being done in the world.
Secondly, because some will consider sharing acts of kindness to be an act of ego, this will allow us to become even more aware of our motives, and so as we post our acts of kindness, we can ask ourselves the question, what are my reasons for sharing the good I have done? If we look honestly at ourselves and realise that maybe we are sharing the good we do because we wish to be seen as good / holy / enlightened etc. then fantastic, because now we will be a bit more aware of our motivations and how our ego is working. For those who are courageous, maybe we could even put in our post that our motivation was ego driven.
Thus, either way, this thread can be positive and a source of growth and inspiration.
This has a dual purpose.
Firstly, sharing your acts of kindness will inspire others here. It will give us ideas for how we can act more kindly. It will also provide a little space of hope - a place where in our darkest moments we can visit and see all the good that is being done in the world.
Secondly, because some will consider sharing acts of kindness to be an act of ego, this will allow us to become even more aware of our motives, and so as we post our acts of kindness, we can ask ourselves the question, what are my reasons for sharing the good I have done? If we look honestly at ourselves and realise that maybe we are sharing the good we do because we wish to be seen as good / holy / enlightened etc. then fantastic, because now we will be a bit more aware of our motivations and how our ego is working. For those who are courageous, maybe we could even put in our post that our motivation was ego driven.
Thus, either way, this thread can be positive and a source of growth and inspiration.
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My colleague rang me with a personal issue and asked if I could come into work a little earlier today and take over from her (we work shifts) so she could go home and get some rest. So, instead of starting my shift at 9.30pm, I came in at 6.30pm so she could go home.
I bought a bunch of flowers one day, with the thought of giving it to the first 'obviously-in-love' couple I came across. And I soon spotted them......and as they hugged and kissed at the traffic lights, waiting to cross, I thrust the flowers at them, and told them, "Never forget this moment, never forget how much you love each other." The look on their faces was priceless.
I swear as I live and breathe, my Ego never got a look-in.
A couple of months later I was back at the same mall, and as I was going down an escalator a young man was going up, and yelled at me, "Wait for me at the bottom. I need to talk to you." I was wary because I didn't recognize the guy at all, but the security desk was right there, and manned. So, what the heck. It was the guy who I gave the $20 to, he had since gotten a job and paid me back the $20!
I try and make a habit of stopping and listening to them then offer to buy them lunch / breakfast (depending on the time of day). The main thing I learn from it is that people just want to be heard. One day a guy started crying and telling me how he was trying to get a place to live but had just missed out for one reason or another. It was so sad...broke my heart. I wish I could have done more to help him but I really didn't know what to do!
I know different people have differing opinions on giving money to people on the street but I always do it. When I lived in Denver it was really difficult as there were homeless people everywhere so I just chose to ignore them and was actually rude to them after a while. If I knew what I know now I would try and help more but I was young and selfish....
Great topic btw...very inspiring to read the lovely stories above...well done everyone!
I once game a beggar $2 "for food", and then watched him walk into a 7/11 and buy a quart of beer.
Another time I beggar came up to my friend and I on the street and said (and I'm not making this up): "Can you give me a couple bucks so I can go buy some beer to sober up with?"
Another time I watched 2 homeless people fight each other with jagged broken whiskey bottles on the street, and one was stabbed.
And yet another time I was walking across the street and a homeless person ran up to me, stopped me, and screamed in my face: "I'm gonna kill somebody!"
^that was my act of kindness right there^
At least you can be sure that you're not just enabling any addictions they might have.
On that note I do give them smokes sometimes
So, i'm there with these service users and I spend a few hours with them, but in the back of my mind i'm wanting to get away as i'm very aware that my sleeping pattern is on thin ice. The selfish aspect is that I don't want to end up awake for 2 days because it is awful for my health and I just don't like living my life in exhaustion - the flipside of this is that if I am exhausted and ill from a lack of sleep then i'm no good to anyone, and so a balance needs to be found. So, I have spent time with the service users, done what I could for them, then made my excuses to get home to bed. But I really don't know whether I have done right or not. The service users would probably have wanted me to stay all day with them, to be honest, especially the homeless guy in the wheelchair, and this would be the selfless, all compassionate thing to do, but it would have been at my own expense.
It confuses me. I don't know what the right thing to do is in such situations. I try to strike a balance but doing that means being selfish as well as selfless. Maybe it comes under the understanding of 'higher selfishness' because me being in good shape means me being of better service to others, but i'm still unclear on it all.
second: so what if they spent the money you gave them on booze? were you trying to alleviate your suffering or theirs?
kindness that needs some return isn't kindness. thats called 'making a deal'.
@vinlyn, if you can't say something nice in a thread that asks that of you - then don't say anything at all.
Hopefully, your post will be the only damper.
any more like that, and I'll just delete them - fair warning.
I once defended you in a philosophy forum. You were preaching this same stuff and your audience was booing you off the stage.
http://www.twincities.com/ci_16774107
When I was in college, I took a transpersonal psychology class. One of our tasks for credit in the class was to do an anonymous good deed every week, and write a 2 page paper on it. I lied about 90% of them, and felt bad for a long time. A couple years later I went back and actually did them, to the best of my ability since I had changed locations.
Today, an act of kindness for me was to not get upset at the dog when she woke me up at 4am and 6am and didn't need anything
I think this is a great topic, I enjoy reading everyone's posts and it makes me think about what I did with my time today and what I could do better with it tomorrow.
Charities are a great place to put your money where your mouth is when trying to help the homeless because they have the skills required to really make a difference without unintentionally harming them further.
As for an act of kindness, I help the older people in my building carry their stuff up and down the stairs.
Lots of nice ideas on this thread, very inspiring
I was driving to work in the morning and went by a liquor store and saw an elderly man driving his 3-wheel bicycle from behind the liquor store. I remember thinking to myself, "He's getting his fix for the day early."
Didn't think anything else about it until a couple of weeks later when there was an article in the local paper about the man with pictures of him on his bike. The story was about how his wife was in the nursing home and how he no longer had his driver's license so he drove his bike the three miles to visit her twice a day, every day. He would fix her hair, bring her breakfast, etc.
It was a true act of loving kindness on his part and taught me to question my judgments about others.
I am not sure I'm clear how this works.
Newbuddhist.com is where anyone can start a thread with the title being the mandate.
The moderaters then make sure that mandate is followed and not questioned until they decide to shut it down, perhaps because an impass is reached or ????
I used to sleep in bus stations and parks, trust me
It wasn't someone throwing money that saved me (which went to drugs) it was a charity that housed young people.
I'm not saying don't give people money, you have to do what you feel is right, I'm just explaining why I don't do it personally and trying to show that there are very legitimate and kindness focused reasons that people don't empty their change into the cup.
I didn't say I didn't help the homeless. I said I didn't give to beggars on the street, and gave examples of why. Almost every charity, whether it be the Salvation Army or any other, recommends not giving to panhandlers, but rather to provide funds and food and materials to organizations who can assure that they go to those who are most in need and provide meals with some appropriate nutritional value to the homeless and others who are underprivileged.
I have helped organize drives to provide blankets and food and medical care and other necessities for the homeless in established homeless shelters on a number of occasions...and have visited those shelters. Several times each year I contribute funds and food to the local food banks, which are used primarily in one of our (I think there are two) soup kitchens here in my small city. There, the homeless can go to the "soup kitchen" and get a good balanced meal every day, no restrictions, and no questions asked. People are also there to provide counseling and set up other services for those people, including medical care. It is operated through Catholic Charities.
Occasionally, when approached by people on the street for "money for food", I have instead offered to take the individual to a fast food restaurant and buy him a lunch, or go into a 7/11 and buy them some bottle water...but no, they only want the money. I wonder why?
And I should have added that my "no beggars" policy only applies when I am in this country. When I am in the third world, which in the past was every year for several weeks or months (and then lived there for 2 years), I would give to "street people" who were not aggressive and in obvious need. When you walk the streets of Bangkok you will come upon hundreds and hundreds of such people. You can't give to every one of them, of course. But when you see an amputee who cannot work, a person with HIV who is too poor to afford any medicine or care at all, a person who can hardly walk because of leprosy, or a person who is little more than a wrack of bones either due to disease or malnutrition...that, and many other conditions, deserve my full attention. And got it to the tune of hundreds of dollars every summer I spent in the third world. For some years I regularly gave to and visited Thai orphanages. I could go on, but I've made that point.
And, TheBeejAbides, you asked, "so what if they spent the money you gave them on booze?" I'll give you a real answer. My sister was not quite homeless. She lived most of her adult in what would be accurately described as a shack. It didn't look too bad from the outside, but inside it didn't even have a working toilet for a decade and occasionally the electricity of water got shut off. If you opened her refrigerator, about the only thing you usually saw was old food and lots of beer. My mother and I (admittedly, more my mother than I) offered to help pay for her doctor and dental bills (her teeth were literally rotting away), but she'd always say, "No, just give me the money." I wouldn't, but my mother would. And then my sister would go out and buy more booze and more drugs. She died at age 52 of cirrhosis of the liver caused by alcoholic liver disease (ALD) and drug use. And that is why you should never give a homeless person money that they will misuse for drugs and booze. Assure that what you are giving is going to be used for food, medical care, housing, or other necessities of life, provided by the many charities which provide such services. Such charities may not exist in the small towns, but can easily be found in larger communities.
And finally, there's almost no end to the charities one can contribute to or provide volunteer work to. I can't say that I am the most generous person in that regard, but I do my share and perhaps more. But I research the charities I donate to or volunteer for. I assure that what is provided to them is used for appropriate purposes.
For all the time that I was a school administrator, it was in a school that had a very large gifted/talented program (at some times, as much as 40% of our population). But I spent far more time with our special education students and our "foreign students" (ESL). Why? Because they needed it more than the gifted. And I have a perfectly clean conscience in that regard, because as one of the foreign students said, "Mr. Lynch, you're the only one here who really likes us even though you don't have to."
Part of that responsibility is asking for clarification if a person's post needs it.
:thumbsup:
And yet, I always later felt guilty because I had so much (in comparison) to them that it was just a drop in the bucket. I never fulfilled my potential.
We do our best and sometimes it doesn't feel like enough... That's all the insight I really have on the matter
I like Mother Teresa's take on giving. She never tried to give to more than one person at a time "that's how we count - one, one, one". There's so much wisdom there, and I can't quite figure out how it applies to what you're talking about but my gut tells me it does.
You know, back when I was principal, I would have students and parents who would come with grandiose ideas...often for helping others. They were often one time big events, and then, after they had patted themselves on their shoulders, they'd forget all about it. I much preferred the smaller, long-term efforts. And since we've been speaking of the homeless, that's a good example. My school community was mostly upper-middle class or upper class (for example, we had several senator's kids, and one of LBJ's granddaughters attended our school). The best effort we ever had (in my view) was when we collected blankets and raised funds a nearby homeless shelter...AND some of the kids helped deliver the materials to the shelter AND had to come back and report to classes on what they learned. It was quite an eye-opener.
But one of the nicest examples I saw on the kid level came to my attention as a result of our school requirement that kids had to earn a credit (so to speak) each year by community service. I wasn't always happy with what some of them were trying to get by with. But I found out that, unrelated to our requirement, one of our boys had helped at a D.C. soup kitchen almost every Saturday morning since he was 12...and got his parents doing it, too. That was dedication!
"Big" efforts always give me the heebie jeebies. Too often they're concerned not with the people in need, but the people who are running them. Not always, of course, but I've found it to be a pretty common pattern.
Getting kids involved in that way is awesome. We didn't have things like that where I'm from, even though it was a notably poor area, but I think it's an awesome idea. Kids "get it" where we really don't sometimes.
Courage is not the absence of fear but rather, acting in spite of it.
I notice fear all the time pop up here and there and it really is something to smile at.
I used to wake up every morning paralyzed in fear. I was in absolute hell, I would hide under my covers, I didn't want anyone to see me and I couldn't even look at myself. Every chance I would get I'd hide.
Today I can smile.
I can smile at the fact that I am not perfect.. that I have these shortcomings that are rather unattractive. Instead of "identifying" with them, sometimes I am able to just see it, observe, let it be and move on.
This tidbit of perception has really been helping me shut my "self" up..
the fact that every being past and present has helped me and all others get to this exact moment in time right here is amazing and is something to be grateful for.
Every being helped me get here.. from Hitler's actions to Ghandi's to the butterfly flapping it's wings in China to Jiro making that perfect sushi day in and day out in Japan heheehehehhe.
I smiled today, I was neurotic more than once, but I smiled.
Btw, I also donate to registered charities on a monthly basis
@OneLifeForm - good for you mate!!
I see some stories here, where people go to other people - obviously poor - and give them money without the poor person begging and be met with smiles and gratitude.
I find that interesting, as in my culture that could easily be seen as a grave insult on the receiving end!
Giving to beggars when they beg is accepted, and many do it (begging is formally illegal though, and the police will remove any beggars they encounter).
The man shouted, "HEY THAT'S MY COFFEE!!"
To make begging "legal" there's a newspaper for homeless people, which they can sell. They must be sober when they sell it and a whole lot of other tings as well as buy the papers themselves, but they get all the profit - 2/5 of the selling price.
I occasionally buy it, but being $ 4 it's a little pricey for my budget.
Passing house.. Maybe it can be translated using Google..
I give money to these people and I try to engage them in conversation. I tell them I'm a recovered alcoholic, and if I know the area, I will point out where the A.A. meetings are, what time they start and explain to them that if they ever think they have a problem with alcohol then they would be more than welcome to turn up.
I know they will spend the money on booze/drugs, but my thoughts are that it may help them to reach 'bottom' where they will do something about their problem, or it will kill them and put them out of their miserable existence sooner. I really do love drunks; they're my favourite people. I love watching them get well.
However, I once gave money to a guy living on the streets who I assumed was an alkie/addict and he was neither; he hadn't ever taken drugs and had not touched a drop of alcohol in years. I checked out his eyes; they were bright and clear; I believed him, so it's not right to generalise.
As for acts of kindness, I do A.A. service work and I sponsor guys in A.A., but I have to balance this with my family life otherwise I suffer with 'neglected wife syndrome'; A.A. teaches me that my order of priorities are my sobriety, family, and A.A. service work. This weekend I'm meeting up with a newcomer early on Saturday morning and another early on Sunday morning; these times don't tend to interfere with family life and it also shows me how serious my prospect is about staying sober. They don't normally like the early morning meetings, but if they meet me, I know they mean business.
That being said... I will answer the question to prevent from being told I am not participating in the thread.
I like to find something that I genuinely like about other people. It has to be something that they did and not just born with. I don't tell somebody they have nice eyes. I tell them they I like their tattoo, their attitude, their hairstyle, etc. Its small, but you would be surprised at how that can really change somebody's day, especially if its a shitty one.