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Attachments to Emotions

Pollyanna83Pollyanna83 Explorer
edited August 2012 in Buddhism Basics
I'm struggling in dealing with attachments to emotions lately, so much so that I feel I am removing myself mentally from reality. One example, I'm not certain how to approach relationships with a potential partner, without knowing if I am just clinging to the idea of a relationship. With a new relationship comes those feelings of excitement, etc which tend to not last. How do I approach anything in life if I feel like am just clinging to the emotions/feelings that come along with a new career, new relationship, etc.

Comments

  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    edited August 2012
    @Pollyanna83

    I deal with it by trying to be mindful of all of it.

    It can be thoughts, activities, consciousness or as you mention, feelings & emotions. All such arising phenomena have there own natural birth, life and eventual death.
    In meditation when phenomena arise, one just observes it and the resulting effects.
    There is no need to feed or suppress it, just allow it to be what it is.
    A mind that is not mindful will usually blindly focus on arising emotions to the exclusion of everything else.
    A mind that is mindful will experience the emotion but will remain objective because all other occurring phenomena are also allowed to be part of the experience.

    The emotions and feelings are fine as they are. To suppress or unduly feed them will only create attachment, suffering and that loss of reality you spoke of. To be mindful of all arising phenomena while not suppressing or feeding them, will limit the possibility of clinging, attachment and suffering.


    In this way what formally might of felt like a struggle, can become more of a chaise lounge observation of endless passing phenomena.
  • ZeroZero Veteran
    Pollyanna83 said:


    One example, I'm not certain how to approach relationships with a potential partner, without knowing if I am just clinging to the idea of a relationship.

    With a new relationship comes those feelings of excitement, etc which tend to not last. How do I approach anything in life if I feel like am just clinging to the emotions/feelings that come along with a new career, new relationship, etc.

    Are you just clinging to the idea of a relationship? What are the things that are driving you into this relationship?

    True that the feelings change over time - if the relationship works, they can change into other wonderful things - so much more the reason to enjoy them for what they are when they arise as they will change.
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    edited August 2012
    In the same manner that thoughts and emotions are dealt with during sitting meditation practice, just by observing them arise and fall away. Observation of them is what allows you to understand them better.
  • musicmusic
    Most of the time I go off on a long train of thought. By the time I catch myself, it is too late.
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