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Vipassana retreat - nervous

edited August 2012 in Buddhism Basics
Hi all,

Has anyone here done the 10-day Goenka Vipassana retreat? I have a seat for a retreat starting on September 5, but I feel very nervous about it. The reviews I've looked at are grouped at both extremes, with my main concern on the negative end of the spectrum being that I will be one of the few that loses their mind and winds up psychotic. I have recently dealt with panic attacks, anxiety/depression (I suppose I still do) and I have indicated this on my application form, but I was still approved. I still feel "derealization" from the anxiety, and am scared that meditation for such a prolonged time will send me to the deep end and leave me more fragmented than integrated. In this situation, I feel that profound healing and release can occur, but I'm also, at the other end, concerned for my mental well-being and feel in limbo whether or not I should go through with it. I shall be contacting the coordinators about my concerns, but wanted to get you guys' thoughts. Thanks

Comments

  • Be like your tag name and don't over think it... I'm also going be doing a 10 day Vipassana Retreat on Sept. 9th in Thailand. Looking forward to the time to drop of the grid and to do some ego busting... lol Look Forward to your experience and go in with no expectations, you never know what you may find in there.
    justbe
  • DobsDobs Maine, USA Explorer
    Hi,

    I attended a Goenka retreat last year and I'm looking forward to doing another soon. My opinion would be don't over think it and just do it. Emotionally it is a bit of a roller coaster. I don't remember now where I heard the quote but someone once said 'meditation is not a tranquilizer, it's a laxative'. Truer words were never spoken. It won't be easy but most likely you'll look back on it as a rewarding experience. Should you feel overwhelmed at any time just discuss it with the teacher. Remember it's not a prison it's a meditation retreat , you can leave if you have a mind to.

    Metta
    justbe
  • Thank you both. I expressed my concerns to the coordinators and have been told to expect a response from the teacher shortly. I'm excited to get on with it.
  • BhanteLuckyBhanteLucky Alternative lifestyle person in the South Island of New Zealand New Zealand Veteran
    edited August 2012
    I've done ten retreats with the Goenka people.
    And honestly, it's the hardest thing I have EVER done.
    But also the most awesome, so I went back nine more times!
    Don't expect it to be easy, but do it anyway.

    I am reminded of this Star Wars quote from Yoda:
    Luke: "I'm not afraid!"
    Yoda: "You will be... you will be."

    So you're wiser than Luke, to acknowledge your nervousness.



    justbe
  • Thanks @JamesTheGiant. It's funny that I havebeen a Star Wars fan for a while and when thinking of my current situation, this part immediately popped in to my head. May I be a Jedi on the other side..
    BhanteLucky
  • shanyinshanyin Novice Yogin Sault Ontario Veteran
    Is it this one?
    http://www.torana.dhamma.org/contact.html
    I've beent hinking of doing it recently
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