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Yom Kippur - one Jewish-Buddhist's thoughts
Today is Yom Kippur- the Jewish day of atonement, the day Jews seek to purify themselves spiritually. Yom Kippur is a sort of cleansing- you get a clean slate after 10 days of introspection (what are called the days of "Awe"), and during that time you make amends, apologize, right any wrongs you can. At the end of this period you go to synagogue to reflect, pray and "turn around". At the end of the night, the "gates close" and all is "written" about what you have done- you can't change that, but you can move forward. This period, and the holiday of YK come once a year.
Last night I got a great night of sleep, and this AM I meditated. I feel that my mind has settled, and is "clean"... I have been attending Yom Kippur services my whole life, and will be spending the day fasting and going to the service at our synagogue. Today I recognize that I can feel cleaner on a daily basis from meditation that I ever felt after all day YK services.
I consider myself to ethnically Jewish, but don't really identify with any religion. I connect to Buddhism spiritually, and philosophically. The more I feel I know my own beliefs, the more the holiday has lost some of it's meaning for me.
I am OK with that, because I have found a more effective way to "cleanse", and my opinion has changed on what really needs cleansing.
I like the idea of examining the way I live to see if it's "skillful" or not, and to think of ways to live better. I also like the release YK can provide, if you hold guilt or remorse for your actions, you are encouraged to let it go and start anew, but also there is retribution for whatever you have done. It is written in a book of life, but not part of you... it will still affect others (something like karma)... Jews don't believe that by apologizing to God that your right your sins, or are "forgiven"... you have to make them right by fixing what can be fixed, apologizing to the person you "committed" your sin against, etc. And there is no real clean slate- your deeds are forever in the Book of LIfe, you just begin anew, trying to do better, with eyes looking to what you are doing now, and not in the past. YK is your reminder to do that. And I agree with that, in a way. I think once your deeds are done, they are written in *history*, they happened. And it makes sense to let go and move on, trying to do better.
But why wait a year to do it? I think I wake up almost every day to do that.
But I am going go to services today because I think it will do harm to my family if I don't, and I think being with them and participating in our family traditions would be a good way to spend the day... A couple of weeks of ago I was a little stressed about the holidays coming up, since YK has usually been a time I notice how much I don't really click in with my religion of origin. But today I just feel like, "I am here..." and I'm going to hang in there, just be, wherever I am. I probably won't recite the prayers, and I might just try to focus on my own breathing and the sounds around me. I feel good about it, not conflicted as I had thought I might.
For Jews out there, Gut Yantif, Easy Fast... (although you are probably not reading this!) and thanks to site who are helping me achieve this level of being OK.
Last night I got a great night of sleep, and this AM I meditated. I feel that my mind has settled, and is "clean"... I have been attending Yom Kippur services my whole life, and will be spending the day fasting and going to the service at our synagogue. Today I recognize that I can feel cleaner on a daily basis from meditation that I ever felt after all day YK services.
I consider myself to ethnically Jewish, but don't really identify with any religion. I connect to Buddhism spiritually, and philosophically. The more I feel I know my own beliefs, the more the holiday has lost some of it's meaning for me.
I am OK with that, because I have found a more effective way to "cleanse", and my opinion has changed on what really needs cleansing.
I like the idea of examining the way I live to see if it's "skillful" or not, and to think of ways to live better. I also like the release YK can provide, if you hold guilt or remorse for your actions, you are encouraged to let it go and start anew, but also there is retribution for whatever you have done. It is written in a book of life, but not part of you... it will still affect others (something like karma)... Jews don't believe that by apologizing to God that your right your sins, or are "forgiven"... you have to make them right by fixing what can be fixed, apologizing to the person you "committed" your sin against, etc. And there is no real clean slate- your deeds are forever in the Book of LIfe, you just begin anew, trying to do better, with eyes looking to what you are doing now, and not in the past. YK is your reminder to do that. And I agree with that, in a way. I think once your deeds are done, they are written in *history*, they happened. And it makes sense to let go and move on, trying to do better.
But why wait a year to do it? I think I wake up almost every day to do that.
But I am going go to services today because I think it will do harm to my family if I don't, and I think being with them and participating in our family traditions would be a good way to spend the day... A couple of weeks of ago I was a little stressed about the holidays coming up, since YK has usually been a time I notice how much I don't really click in with my religion of origin. But today I just feel like, "I am here..." and I'm going to hang in there, just be, wherever I am. I probably won't recite the prayers, and I might just try to focus on my own breathing and the sounds around me. I feel good about it, not conflicted as I had thought I might.
For Jews out there, Gut Yantif, Easy Fast... (although you are probably not reading this!) and thanks to site who are helping me achieve this level of being OK.
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Comments
Yes, and I enjoy the notion of being an "angel" as the say, wearing white(I did not) and feeling pure for a day : like a bride on her wedding day claims the Rabbi.
I guess I am trying to say that I too had a good experience in temple and further that my experience was likewise tempered by my Buddhist leanings.
Thank you for causing me to think in these terms!
Thank you!
Good YomTov
I'm a practising Modern Orthodox Jew and practising Buddhist. I can identify with a lot of what you said. I often feel like I have a foot in both worlds, but I have been balancing it well lately and feel that in many ways that are quite compatible.
In metta,
Raven