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The Dhammapada - Chapter 16 - v209 - v220
buddhafoot
Veteran
Piyavagga
Affection
Translated from the Pali by
Acharya Buddharakkhita
Alternate translation: Buddharakkhita Thanissaro
209. Giving himself to things to be shunned and not exerting where exertion is needed, a seeker after pleasures, having given up his true welfare, envies those intent upon theirs.
210. Seek no intimacy with the beloved and also not with the unloved, for not to see the beloved and to see the unloved, both are painful.
211. Therefore hold nothing dear, for separation from the dear is painful. There are no bonds for those who have nothing beloved or unloved.
212. From endearment springs grief, from endearment springs fear. From him who is wholly free from endearment there is no grief, whence then fear?
213. From affection springs grief, from affection springs fear. From him who is wholly free from affection there is no grief, whence then fear?
214. From attachment springs grief, from attachment springs fear. From him who is wholly free from attachment there is no grief, whence then fear?
215. From lust springs grief, from lust springs fear. From him who is wholly free from craving there is no grief; whence then fear?
216. From craving springs grief, from craving springs fear. From him who is wholly free from craving there is no grief; whence then fear?
217. People hold dear him who embodies virtue and insight, who is principled, has realized the truth, and who himself does what he ought to be doing.
218. One who is intent upon the Ineffable (Nibbana), dwells with mind inspired (by supramundane wisdom), and is no more bound by sense pleasures — such a man is called "One Bound Upstream." 18
219. When, after a long absence, a man safely returns from afar, his relatives, friends and well-wishers welcome him home on arrival.
220. As kinsmen welcome a dear one on arrival, even so his own good deeds will welcome the doer of good who has gone from this world to the next.
-bf
Affection
Translated from the Pali by
Acharya Buddharakkhita
Alternate translation: Buddharakkhita Thanissaro
209. Giving himself to things to be shunned and not exerting where exertion is needed, a seeker after pleasures, having given up his true welfare, envies those intent upon theirs.
210. Seek no intimacy with the beloved and also not with the unloved, for not to see the beloved and to see the unloved, both are painful.
211. Therefore hold nothing dear, for separation from the dear is painful. There are no bonds for those who have nothing beloved or unloved.
212. From endearment springs grief, from endearment springs fear. From him who is wholly free from endearment there is no grief, whence then fear?
213. From affection springs grief, from affection springs fear. From him who is wholly free from affection there is no grief, whence then fear?
214. From attachment springs grief, from attachment springs fear. From him who is wholly free from attachment there is no grief, whence then fear?
215. From lust springs grief, from lust springs fear. From him who is wholly free from craving there is no grief; whence then fear?
216. From craving springs grief, from craving springs fear. From him who is wholly free from craving there is no grief; whence then fear?
217. People hold dear him who embodies virtue and insight, who is principled, has realized the truth, and who himself does what he ought to be doing.
218. One who is intent upon the Ineffable (Nibbana), dwells with mind inspired (by supramundane wisdom), and is no more bound by sense pleasures — such a man is called "One Bound Upstream." 18
219. When, after a long absence, a man safely returns from afar, his relatives, friends and well-wishers welcome him home on arrival.
220. As kinsmen welcome a dear one on arrival, even so his own good deeds will welcome the doer of good who has gone from this world to the next.
-bf
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Comments
Now that's what I call a challenge! Not much wriggle room in there.
Isn't it in some film with Jean Reno where we are told that real freedom means owning nothing that we are not prepared to ditch at a moment's notice?
As Western Buddhists, married, in relationship or aspiring to be, we put "the beloved" and our commitment to them towards the top of the ladder marked "skillful". And here we find the Buddha telling us to hold nothing - and no one - dear, in clear contradiction to our view of romantic love. Perhaps we need to remember that 'romantic love' is a very recent presupposition of ours, and localised too.
Admittedly, with the emerging caste system in post-Harappan, pre-Hindu India, it must have been more usual for marriages to be arranged by the family rather than by the couple, as it is still today in the subcontinent. Within that context, it is quite possible to be married an non-attached.
The situation is very different here, now. Because marriage and civil partnership are based on a statement of 'love' one for another, non-attachment is actually a rejection of that form of relationship.
Are we, as Buddhists, challenged to find a new, non-attached, non-romantic way of relationship, where the Dharma is seen, by both parties, as more important than the relationship itself?
"My MTV" basically tells me that sex is the only thing that matter - and the view of the world from sex-crazed 15 year olds who think they're the first person to ever experience ANYTHING!!!
For those of us that have been taught to seek love throughout our lives - this could be one, tough cookie to crumble.
-bf
not really, if you are a lay person the most that is requested from you is to maintain a certain level of dignity through detachment.
a modicum of detachment helps us make the right decisions and stops us from making foolish ones.
Considering there is a high level of divorce everywhere, this probably means there isn't much true love anyway..:winkc: