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Friendship or Brotherhood?
Argon.Aid
Veteran
Friendship is a deep topic cause rarely does someone stop to ponder about the relationship he has around him rather than the issues that plague the world today. The purpose of this thread is to give my view on what friendship looks like to me and to also read and possibly hear stories of friendship from others in this forum.
For me, since my secondary years, I have always been trying to get on the good side of my friends. From secondary one, my two close friends Irsyad and Joshua (real names) were my clique around me. It sems Murphys Law was true, that for a group or organisation to work, there must be a member in the group that is willing to take the back seat. And for this clique, it was me. Everytime they went on their usual hunts to 'woo' girls, I would be the silent one. Everytime the rumours come out, its about them, never me. But yet, the friendship maintained.
A major drawback was the fact that I had to please them constantly. Our friendship often end up with quarrels and even if the other party was more at fault, I have to apologise for ignoring them in the first place. So it went till Secondary 3 where another person (A) was going to enter my life. So when I started befriending A and sticking close to him, I was seen as trying to break away and shine. Things got to an ultimate point where I was the first to gain the limelight to getting a girlfriend(trust me, I am NOT proud of that). They cut off all ties and we became enemies.
My new life wasn't to be better. And it became worse when I headed for a break-up. I was totally alone. That was where I started thinking and pondering on the relationship we have. This topic arise again today when I discussed with Ajani only to be distracted by someone wearing the latest Manchester United shirt (Dude, its now AIG and its disgusting. But Manchester United still rocks).
Here is my life now: A 15-year-old school guy who has a moderate social circle with his closest friend so far as A who is currently going through a major problem/s and his clique as the boys in his class.
What I actually see it as: A 15-year-old boy who feels the friends around him are by circumstances.
For me, an ideal friendship is what would seem like a brotherhood. A brotherhood involves a group of people who live by each other. They are a gang, one that simply stick together through thick or thin. A group where one member do not say "I'm cutting my ties with you because you are bringing down my future".
While I do ponder over these issues, i do want to make a note on the fact that I cherish my friends around me. But, as examinations draw near, you cannot help but notice how even your close friends can embark on fantastic individualism and mind games to gain an upperhand. Friendship? By circumstances maybe.
-RaDmaTist
"No offense is intended and I hope none is taken"
For me, since my secondary years, I have always been trying to get on the good side of my friends. From secondary one, my two close friends Irsyad and Joshua (real names) were my clique around me. It sems Murphys Law was true, that for a group or organisation to work, there must be a member in the group that is willing to take the back seat. And for this clique, it was me. Everytime they went on their usual hunts to 'woo' girls, I would be the silent one. Everytime the rumours come out, its about them, never me. But yet, the friendship maintained.
A major drawback was the fact that I had to please them constantly. Our friendship often end up with quarrels and even if the other party was more at fault, I have to apologise for ignoring them in the first place. So it went till Secondary 3 where another person (A) was going to enter my life. So when I started befriending A and sticking close to him, I was seen as trying to break away and shine. Things got to an ultimate point where I was the first to gain the limelight to getting a girlfriend(trust me, I am NOT proud of that). They cut off all ties and we became enemies.
My new life wasn't to be better. And it became worse when I headed for a break-up. I was totally alone. That was where I started thinking and pondering on the relationship we have. This topic arise again today when I discussed with Ajani only to be distracted by someone wearing the latest Manchester United shirt (Dude, its now AIG and its disgusting. But Manchester United still rocks).
Here is my life now: A 15-year-old school guy who has a moderate social circle with his closest friend so far as A who is currently going through a major problem/s and his clique as the boys in his class.
What I actually see it as: A 15-year-old boy who feels the friends around him are by circumstances.
For me, an ideal friendship is what would seem like a brotherhood. A brotherhood involves a group of people who live by each other. They are a gang, one that simply stick together through thick or thin. A group where one member do not say "I'm cutting my ties with you because you are bringing down my future".
While I do ponder over these issues, i do want to make a note on the fact that I cherish my friends around me. But, as examinations draw near, you cannot help but notice how even your close friends can embark on fantastic individualism and mind games to gain an upperhand. Friendship? By circumstances maybe.
-RaDmaTist
"No offense is intended and I hope none is taken"
0
Comments
It IS exam period, and if we are friends to them we should encourage them instead of thinking of why. Besides, it is a fact that the rest of us really need alot of time to work on our grades. This is for the rest of our life for sure, but as for friendship, it seems like a very, very stupid two-way mirror. I can see you, you can see me! Both friends want to keep a friendship, but borth friends doubt on whether it is possible. How ridiculous... But I have shrugged it off as being just another part of life... Let your deeds as time passes talk instead of allowing promises to dictate the remainder.
For me, you know that I am really going through a serious sawtooth voltage for almost three months now... So excuse me from any expectations you may have currently. Please do remember (where this is not a threat or a blackmailing attempt) that the rest of us here were patient observers to you while you were going through it all too.
Lastly, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"
There weren't
NEXT! =P :vimp:
You are a 15 year old person. Boy isn't the right word - "man" may not be the right word. I know many 30-something guys that still act like they were boys.
Not to be condescending - because I'm really not trying to be condescending - but you are 15. As I've said before, the teenage years are a period in life that is unlike anything that you will ever go through again. Changes in body, changes in mind, mass dumping of hormones into your system, moving from "when I was a child, I beheld things as a child" to "when I was a man, I put away childish things".
Relationships begin and change too. There are first loves and attachments to those that we now find endearing and sexually exciting. Then the loss of those same people and learning to cope and deal with feelings we've never really had before. We find people that we are drawn to for either our own desire, peer-pressure, acceptance - and then realize that these things really play no importance in defining true friendship. This is a time in life that you may find that, because of certain conditions, you may find friendships that will last your entire life - deep friendships that wouldn't happen if you had met this same person in your 20's, 30's, 40's or 50's!
Fortunately, you two seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, take the time to think for yourselves, and seem to treat others with respect.
Repsect for others seems to be a very underrated quality these days.
-bf