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Why you should dedicate merit to other beings and especially to deceased relatives
karmablues
Veteran
In many Buddhist countries, it is part of the culture to regularly offer alms to the Sangha in the name of deceased relatives in order to dedicate the merit to them. Here, I want to look at the rationale behind that practice.
In the Sigalovada Sutta, the Buddha declares five duties of a child towards his parents as follows:
So how are offerings to the Sangha done in honour of the deceased beneficial? There are three benefits, one that accrues to the dead, one that accrues to the giver himself/herself, and one that accrues to the receiver of the gifts (the Sangha).
In what manner are the dead able to gain benefit from the almsgiving? The Suttas clearly say that it is through the act of rejoicing in the meritous act done by the giver that the dead are able to gain merit themselves and enjoy happiness when such merit bear fruit. Thus it is by way of the wholesome mental quality which is produced in the mind of the dead by the act of rejoicing that they are able to gain merit themselves.
This means that there is no actual "transfer" of merit as some people tend to misunderstand. Dedicating merit to the dead therefore merely provides an opportunity for the dead to gain merit through their own action by performing the wholesome deed of rejoicing in other people's meritious deeds. This is particularly very important when we consider the possibility that they may have been reborn into a lower realm where there is much suffering and no chance to perform meritious acts such as almsgiving themselves. In fact it is said that in some hungry ghost realms, the the only source of happiness for those beings are by rejoicing in the merits that are dedicated to them.
In the Kaladana Sutta, the Buddha said:
In conclusion, for those who don't do so already, I would hope that you consider the act of dedicating your merits to the dead. This practice can be regarded as developing compassion as well as to show our gratitude to those who were kind to us when they were alive. But in the context of developing compassion, we can dedicate our merit not just to our relatives or those who we knew, but to all beings whether they are devas or hungry ghosts or whatever, so that they may gain benefit from our meritious deeds and thereby enjoy happiness through the act of rejoicing. Furthermore, whenever we see or learn about meritious/wholesome/skillful acts done by someone else, we should rejoice in those actions as a way to develop mudita (sympathetic joy).
In the Sigalovada Sutta, the Buddha declares five duties of a child towards his parents as follows:
"In five ways, young householder, a child should minister to his parents as the East:In the Filial Piety Sutra, the Buddha also advices that "For the sake of your parents, make offerings to the Triple Jewel".
(i) Having supported me I shall support them,
(ii) I shall do their duties,
(iii) I shall keep the family tradition,
(iv) I shall make myself worthy of my inheritance,
(v) furthermore I shall offer alms in honour of my departed relatives.
So how are offerings to the Sangha done in honour of the deceased beneficial? There are three benefits, one that accrues to the dead, one that accrues to the giver himself/herself, and one that accrues to the receiver of the gifts (the Sangha).
In what manner are the dead able to gain benefit from the almsgiving? The Suttas clearly say that it is through the act of rejoicing in the meritous act done by the giver that the dead are able to gain merit themselves and enjoy happiness when such merit bear fruit. Thus it is by way of the wholesome mental quality which is produced in the mind of the dead by the act of rejoicing that they are able to gain merit themselves.
This means that there is no actual "transfer" of merit as some people tend to misunderstand. Dedicating merit to the dead therefore merely provides an opportunity for the dead to gain merit through their own action by performing the wholesome deed of rejoicing in other people's meritious deeds. This is particularly very important when we consider the possibility that they may have been reborn into a lower realm where there is much suffering and no chance to perform meritious acts such as almsgiving themselves. In fact it is said that in some hungry ghost realms, the the only source of happiness for those beings are by rejoicing in the merits that are dedicated to them.
In the Kaladana Sutta, the Buddha said:
In the proper season they give —In the Tirokudda Sutta, the fact that the dead are able to gain merit through rejoicing in the act of giving is clearly stated. In this Sutta the Buddha also says that offerings made to dead relatives should be done as an act of compassion.
those with discernment,
responsive, free from stinginess.
Having been given in proper season,
with hearts inspired by the Noble Ones — straightened,
Such — their offering bears an abundance.
Those who rejoice in that gift or give assistance,
they, too, have a share of the merit,
and the offering isn't depleted by that.
So, with an unhesitant mind, one should give
where the gift bears great fruit.
Merit is what establishes
living beings in the next life.
Thus those who feel sympathy for their dead relativesFurthermore, offerings made in the name of the dead are to be regarded as an act of gratitude and for repaying the kindness that we once received from them when they were alive. In respect of dead relatives, one also discharges one's duty towards them by making such offerings. Again, from the Tirokudda Sutta:
give timely donations of proper food & drink [to the Sangha]
— exquisite, clean —
[thinking:] "May this be for our relatives.
May our relatives be happy!"
And those who have gathered there,
the assembled shades of the [dead] relatives,
with appreciation [they rejoice and] give their blessing
for the plentiful food & drink [offered to the Sangha]:
"May our relatives live long
because of whom we have gained [this gift].
We have been honored,
and the donors are not without reward!
"He gave to me, she acted on my behalf,I think it's worth pointing out that while the act of dedicating merit is often associated with almsgiving, it is also often done after meditation sessions. In addition, the act of rejoicing in other people's meritious deeds is not something that only the dead can do, but it is also an important practice for the living. In the Theravada tradition, rejoicing in other people's merits is regarded as one of the ten wholesome ways of making merit as stated in the canonical Abhidhamma Pitaka and its commentaries. Such act also constitutes a way of developing sympathetic joy (mudita) which - along with compassion, metta and equanimity - is one of the four sublime states. In the Mahayana tradition, rejoicing in other people's meritious deeds is part of the fifth vow of the ten great vows of Bodhisattva Samantabhadra as proclaimed in the Avatamsaka Sutra,
they were my relatives, companions, friends":
Offerings should be given for the dead
when one reflects thus on things done in the past.
For no weeping, no sorrowing
no other lamentation benefits the dead
whose relatives persist in that way.
But when this offering is given,
well-placed in the Sangha,
it works for their long-term benefit
and they profit immediately.
In this way the proper duty to relatives has been shown,
great honor has been done to the dead,
and monks have been given strength:
The merit you've acquired isn't small.
In conclusion, for those who don't do so already, I would hope that you consider the act of dedicating your merits to the dead. This practice can be regarded as developing compassion as well as to show our gratitude to those who were kind to us when they were alive. But in the context of developing compassion, we can dedicate our merit not just to our relatives or those who we knew, but to all beings whether they are devas or hungry ghosts or whatever, so that they may gain benefit from our meritious deeds and thereby enjoy happiness through the act of rejoicing. Furthermore, whenever we see or learn about meritious/wholesome/skillful acts done by someone else, we should rejoice in those actions as a way to develop mudita (sympathetic joy).
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Comments
I recently found an item of my grandfather's and was struck by just how long it had been since I had really thought about him or any of my deceased relatives. It made me realize how much I missed certain aspects of that practice. A lot is in flux for me at the moment, including my practice, but I have been thinking about reintegrating this aspect back in.
Thanks for the reminder.
by Kuan Yin Bodhisattva.
Works like magic.....
I listened to the Great Compassion Mantra, it has a very soothing effect. I like this version by Ven. Ani Choying Drolma (a Nepalese nun) who has a very beautiful voice:
In Thailand, we often chant some standard verses in Pali when performing merit dedication which in English reads as follows:
Hmm, shouldnt the merit gain through the act of giving be attributed to the giver...?
If one realises that certain sutras are recited for the departed exclusively, then there would be rejoice in the part of the reciter. After all, they should not be expected to seek any joy (attachment), but seek release.
In fact it is said that in some hungry ghost realms, the the only source of happiness for those beings are by rejoicing in the merits that are dedicated to.
The departed, into fallen into lower realms, is very 'lost'. We cannot assume their realms have any similarity to ours and their faculties to be of the same intensity as ours.
I do presume that the sutras travel far and wide and they do actually understand the message contained, hence the joy is in receiving 'knowledge, instructions, directions' to escape and progress towards liberation from their current realm.
As mentioned, some sutras do a magical job of attracting the audience, hence they must work to a very great degree of conveying their message.
Those who are able to communicate with the departed, will often speak of their asking for help, being hopelessly lost and hence wandering souls.
Try this.
In Thailand, it is customary for someone who has done some merit-making activity to make such deed known to family and friends and usually we literally say, "I've brought some merit along for you. Today, I [insert description of meritious activity that was done]." The family member or friend would then say, "Anumodana, Sadhu!" which is a Pali phrase to say "Excellent! I approve and take delight in your meritious deed".
So that is why when we dedicate merit to the departed, we also chant some Pali verses that I posted in my comment above and this serves to inform them of the dedication so that they can approve and take delight in whatever meritious deed was performed in their name. Through this act of rejoicing, they gain merit and thus happiness when such merit (good karma) bears fruit. In case for some reason they are not aware of the merit dedication, we ask that the devas inform them.
Let me try to explain it this way.
One gains good karma/merit by performing actions that involve wholesome mental states. So, for example, if I offer food to the Sangha I would thereby gain good karma because that act of giving involved me having a wholesome mental state.
So if I came along and said to you, "Hi Vinlyn. Yesterday I offered food to the monks of an entire temple." Now if you react to this information by rejoicing in my act of generosity, you have thus performed good karma yourself. By approving and taking delight (ie. rejoicing) in my act of generosity, you yourself have performed an act which involves a wholesome mental state and through such act you have yourself gained good karma/merit.
On the other hand, if you had reacted in a negative way then the results would have been the opposite. For example, if instead of rejoicing, you had thought to yourself, "What an idiot. He only offers food to the monks of an entire temple to show off his wealth and brag about it." In such situation, instead of gaining good karma/merit, you would have gained bad karma because of the unwholesome mental state involved in your criticism of my meritious deed.
So merit dedication is not really literally "giving" merit to others. It is about declaring our good deeds and making them known to others so as to provide an opportunity for those others to react in a positive/meritious manner ie. which is to approve and take delight (rejoice) in those good deeds. It is therefore up to the person who receives the merit dedication to react in a wholesome way that produces good karma/merit.
Anyways, I tried to explain this point in the OP but perhaps did not make myself clear enough but hope this comment clarifies things better.
My karma is a result of my actions. And what you do will not affect my karma. That's my belief.
If the other person remains indifferent then yes, it can be said that your dedication of merit does nothing for that person. However, if s/he reacts by rejoicing in your good deeds, then s/he would gain good karma/merit and also develop mudita (sympathetic joy) which - along with metta, compassion and equanimity - is one of the four Brahma viharas.
We have fairly common examples right here on this forum when someone is ill and in the hospital, and a forum member asks the rest of us to intervene with our prayers and meditations. Essentially, in Buddhism, that's giving merit. And that ill person in the hospital doesn't get well (or not) because of our prayers and meditations. Not saying it's not a nice thing to do, but my Thai ex didn't get a cure of his heart conditions or hepatitis, or aplastic anemia by all those friends and relatives who are giving him their merit.
I can agree with you about feeling joy. But I think are talking about more than just feeling good here.
If someone in my family became ill, I would also pray and meditate for them. But this wouldn't be about giving merit. Rather it would be a case of performing good karma so as to create the cause for the fruit of happiness. And if my own happiness is heavily dependent on my relative's health, then the fruit of my good karma should cause my relative's health to improve in order to create happiness for me.
Oh, that's interesting. Did the faith healing help in any way?
So she was a very interesting person. She wrote me a deep letter when I was about 10 which I never answered because she was approaching me with deep religious vibe when I was a jock who played basketball all of my free time that was not spent watching sports, or reading sci/fantasy fiction. When she died in my 20s I remembered the letter and I still had it and read it. I wrote her an answer and then I burned my answer to send it to her.