Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Occasions of "sin"
Simonthepilgrim
Veteran
In Christian moral theology, there is the notion of the "occasions of sin": these are events, places, people, readings, etc., which are likely to lead one into 'sin'. I wonder if there is a Pali/Sankrit Buddhist term for the same idea. I have found it very useful in the past - and also this very day:
For some years now, I have been a moderator and administrator on a friend's bulletin board. I have even carried on under a new 'owner' when my friend left to join the Navy. At one time, it was a very active board with many interesting discussions and debates. From time to time, we would have a 'flamer' or someone who would be deliberately unpleasant - just as we have had here. For a few months now, my friend's boards have been getting slower and slower. Like all such, it has probably come to the end of its useful life, having no real underlying ethos. The three or four of us who still post have been wondering about it and have been accused of not joining in with other members' sites. As a result, I went to one.
The boards in question are devoted to "Politics and News". I found a thread about "the achievements of Islam". The tenor was that nothing good has come out of it and as proof the shortage of Islamic Nobel prize-winners was cited. Aware of the fact that the same argument could be used against other groups such as women or ethnic Africans, I posted a short paragraph on some of the great discoveries of the Islamic world. The response was a diatribe about my personal style, attributes, intellectual capacity and educational failure. Not the first time I have had that sort of reply on a bulletin board, alas; not uncommon, I fear.
It would have been of little interest, except that I had read my respondent's cogent arguments just before going out for my morning stroll, a time I use for 'examination of conscience' or 'defrag'. I noticed how angry I was and how self-defensive I felt: I was composing clever answers in my head. I would parade my credentials, list my publications, reference my superior knowledge!
Fortunately, I have a place where I stop, to catch my breath. I use it as an opportunity to centre and ground myself, breathing down into my belly and taking a few minutes in silence. As I set off again, the words that I have put as the title of this thread came to my mind. I noticed that my 'fight' muscles suddenly relaxed and let go. Of course! As I work with the way in which I respond by anger or self-justification, what am I doing getting involved in polemics? A bit like my old work colleague who went to AA meetings three times a week and worked, part-time in the off-licence (liquor store).
Whilst there are certainly "occasions of sin" that present grave dilemmas and avoiding which could be extremely difficult, I can help myself to eschew my temptation into polemics by not going there.
Ah well! It has only taken me a few decades to get there. Good to know that I can still learn.
For some years now, I have been a moderator and administrator on a friend's bulletin board. I have even carried on under a new 'owner' when my friend left to join the Navy. At one time, it was a very active board with many interesting discussions and debates. From time to time, we would have a 'flamer' or someone who would be deliberately unpleasant - just as we have had here. For a few months now, my friend's boards have been getting slower and slower. Like all such, it has probably come to the end of its useful life, having no real underlying ethos. The three or four of us who still post have been wondering about it and have been accused of not joining in with other members' sites. As a result, I went to one.
The boards in question are devoted to "Politics and News". I found a thread about "the achievements of Islam". The tenor was that nothing good has come out of it and as proof the shortage of Islamic Nobel prize-winners was cited. Aware of the fact that the same argument could be used against other groups such as women or ethnic Africans, I posted a short paragraph on some of the great discoveries of the Islamic world. The response was a diatribe about my personal style, attributes, intellectual capacity and educational failure. Not the first time I have had that sort of reply on a bulletin board, alas; not uncommon, I fear.
It would have been of little interest, except that I had read my respondent's cogent arguments just before going out for my morning stroll, a time I use for 'examination of conscience' or 'defrag'. I noticed how angry I was and how self-defensive I felt: I was composing clever answers in my head. I would parade my credentials, list my publications, reference my superior knowledge!
Fortunately, I have a place where I stop, to catch my breath. I use it as an opportunity to centre and ground myself, breathing down into my belly and taking a few minutes in silence. As I set off again, the words that I have put as the title of this thread came to my mind. I noticed that my 'fight' muscles suddenly relaxed and let go. Of course! As I work with the way in which I respond by anger or self-justification, what am I doing getting involved in polemics? A bit like my old work colleague who went to AA meetings three times a week and worked, part-time in the off-licence (liquor store).
Whilst there are certainly "occasions of sin" that present grave dilemmas and avoiding which could be extremely difficult, I can help myself to eschew my temptation into polemics by not going there.
Ah well! It has only taken me a few decades to get there. Good to know that I can still learn.
0
Comments
I'm going to try to follow your footsteps, as 'heat lay in the very sod, where the Snow lay dinted'....
Kripes, it's the easiest thing in the world, isn't it, to be right, to know you're right, and to want to show the other guy you're right....?
Ouch.....
I used to see this as a strength; feeling smart and intelligent, but I've often wondered what the point actually was.
It is difficult, but definitely worth the effort! Good for you, Simon!
The question is always to apply what we say - or don't say - skilfully.....
"Let your moments speak, your deeds prove and your delivery impress".
Thought it was fitting to this thread!
I also agree with you Fede........
I was thinking about this very thing yesterday after making comments on another thread.
It was a day of examining myself, what I do and don't do and what I should and shouldn't do.
Yet...after several weeks...I went back. And the vicious attack resumed. Now, I say to myself 'What is wrong with me...that I am returning for this?' I am torn...do I stay away from a place that only brings me turmoil, and leaves me feeling polluted the rest of the day, and disturbs me deeply? Or do I go back, and take it...and explore the source of my pain?
I guess we're talking about those situations in which we experience shenpa and whether to avoid the situations or explore the shenpa. My thought would be that if one of the precepts is to abstain from intoxicants because it makes unskillful thoughts and actions more likely, (Simon, maybe the precept against taking intoxicants is a Buddhist example of "occasion of "sin"?) then it would probably be wise to avoid the shenpa inducing situation as well. Otherwise we're just making ourselves suffer needlessly. Surely there are enough shenpa causing moments in our life that are beyond our control and that we can use as examples to learn from and to explore.
So Harlan, I'd leave and never go back there. You don't need to put yourself through that kind of suffering. You have enough to work with from the memories of those personal attacks without having to go through more of it. (I know this isn't entirely reasonable, but I also don't want you to go back because I can't stand the thought of anyone putting you through that. I know this isn't about me and I'm being selfish but I don't want you to be hurt. Especially not needlessly. But that doesn't take away from the fact that it would probably be better not to put yourself through any more of it anyway.)
I like this topic very much, Simon. Thanks for bringing it up. It ties in with so many other things, like shenpa, that I've been mulling over for weeks now. When I was growing up my father used humiliation as a weapon and I remember so vividly that horrible, horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and the heat of shame crawling underneath my skin when my father would brutally humiliate me with his vicious words and tone. No one else could ever make me feel that bad, only my father. But now that I'm older, wiser and have the courage and vocabulary to stand up to him, the balance of power has shifted and he can't make me feel that way anymore. Realizing that has been a revelation. And I know why it's so, too. It's because I'm no longer invested in his approval. I don't care what he thinks about me anymore. I know my own worth (which is neither less nor more than any other being) and if he's unable to appreciate it that would be a tragedy for him, not me. Luckily, though, he sees my worth, too, and tells me at least once a week how proud he is of me and how much he loves me.
But none of that would have been possible if I hadn't been away from my parents for almost 20 years and grown up in my own way. I had to leave the shenpa causing situation long enough to figure out why I was feeling it so I could come back and be immune to it. If I hadn't left I'd just have stayed overwhelmed by it and probably never gotten enough perspective to learn from it. Coming back to live with my parents has been the most cathartic experience in my life. I'm so grateful I had the chance.
Anyway, that's part of what I've been mulling over for the last few weeks. There are many more things, though, because you guys give me so much to think about. But I'm sure they'll all come out in other threads. This growing up thing can be very interesting at times.
She explains it much better on her web site than I could ever dream of, if you'd like to go there and read about it.
Speaking of this teacher...anybody catch the issue (Shambala?) when she was on the cover with her teacher? Did you notice her glowing face? I thought it was beautiful...very revealing how how feels in the presence of one's teacher.
Avoid the bad...seek the good. Message noted.