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A NewBuddhist PowWow aka 'Now where's that Peace Pipe?'
not1not2
Veteran
In light of all the recent events, I think that we need to kind of sit down & discuss the direction we want this forum to go. I say this because several people who have left seem to feel that this board is going downhill. As I am a relatively new member, compared to some of you, I think that others may be better able to assess what direction it is that we are going. Now, I realize that this has been discussed to some extent in the other threads, but I think we need a thread entirely devoted to this. So, I'll try to get the ball rolling.
One of the first things I noticed when I joined was how tight knit the core membership was. YogaMama, Brigid, Simon, Jason, BF, KOB, LFA, Xrayman, Palzang, ComicallyInsane and the rest seemed to really care for & support each other. This place was something of a sanctuary for them & others. Now, I don't necessarily think that's changed, but I think perhaps the addition of many new faces has been a bit destabilizing for them, and apparently some of the less vocal members. It's not that the new faces are bad, but that we really haven't fully integrated ourselves into the core of this community & that contentiousness rears it's head from time to time. I don't know. I may be off base with this, but due to the posts of members who have recently left, I get the impression that some deeper dissatisfaction is happening than what they expressed in words.
Anyway, I would like to hear peoples opinion on these matters & would encourage that we think of ways to get closer as a community. Not that everyone has to participate, but I think it would be nice. Regardless, even though I'm still just getting to know you all on a personal, I do value this forum & its members and I hope we can come together a little more.
best wishes & metta
_/\_
One of the first things I noticed when I joined was how tight knit the core membership was. YogaMama, Brigid, Simon, Jason, BF, KOB, LFA, Xrayman, Palzang, ComicallyInsane and the rest seemed to really care for & support each other. This place was something of a sanctuary for them & others. Now, I don't necessarily think that's changed, but I think perhaps the addition of many new faces has been a bit destabilizing for them, and apparently some of the less vocal members. It's not that the new faces are bad, but that we really haven't fully integrated ourselves into the core of this community & that contentiousness rears it's head from time to time. I don't know. I may be off base with this, but due to the posts of members who have recently left, I get the impression that some deeper dissatisfaction is happening than what they expressed in words.
Anyway, I would like to hear peoples opinion on these matters & would encourage that we think of ways to get closer as a community. Not that everyone has to participate, but I think it would be nice. Regardless, even though I'm still just getting to know you all on a personal, I do value this forum & its members and I hope we can come together a little more.
best wishes & metta
_/\_
0
Comments
I feel that too many of the threads here while being humble at first, too often evolve into some arcane arguements. Too much is focused on the words being said and not enough I feel is focused on the issue at hand. Also, banning members viewed as troublemakers will do little to change the course of the forum and will only turn away newcomers when they see this.
In the end, I havel left because I wish to discuss the modern world on a broader scale and not primarily focused on Buddhism. I have enjoyed myself here and have no intention of ending my Buddhist practices. I wish you all the best.
These last few weeks I have been reading a number of books on the psychic roots of illness and by implication mental disorders. What struck me in your post is what can be referred to as territorial conflicts. Of the four main biological conflicts which Obissier touches on in his book, Biogenealogy, Conflicts of relationship and territorial conflicts comprise the fourth.
Permit me to cite some of the section which might be illuminating for all of us.
One of the best ways of dealing with this kind of conflict is to first be aware that it is happening. I know it is easy to think, "This is B.S." But we should consider that we are not a single brain but a brain with many brains in it—some quite primitive. Territory is one of the primitive brain issues.
As an antidote to this, we Buddhists should have the open arms of a friend (mitra) and welcome new members—and also forgive. It think this is healthy and shows the signs of a mature bulletin board. We should also get rid of territorial limits which can become divisive, leading to anger.
Love ya'll,
Bobby
P.S. The book is great! A must buy. Biogenealogy: Decoding the Pyschic Roots of Illness by Patrick Obissier. The French, btw, are doing some brilliant work in this area—it seems in this case, the French are ahead of the learning curve.
I suppose that it couldn't hurt to sit down and discuss the direction we would like this forum to go; however, one thing that we should all keep in mind is the direction that Brian would like this forum to go. I think that Brian's welcoming announcement sums this direction up quite well:
As to how this could be done in a more skillful way, I am unsure; however, I think that we have all kinds of members who have something to offer when the circumstances permit. What I would really like to see happen is more of our members contributing to the forum.
Sincerely,
Jason
Forgiveness is a must!
Jason
I wish you the best as well. Take care, and just remember that we will still be here if you ever feel the need to come back and visit us.
Jason
Yes there are always going to be conflict online, you can't read emotion on a computer screen. It's hard to differentiate sometimes between someone sounding cruel and someone who might be joking. Then again some people may take themselves a bit to seriously and get quickly bothered. My point is, this is the internet, and you can't judge a post by it's typewritten words (sorry trying to make it sound like the whole judging a book by it's cover thing). I have read most of the threads that have "conflict" in them. My best advice is, if you are unsure about a post someone made maybe ask to find out what they truly meant. Brian did enable private messaging as well so maybe ask the question to the poster that way? I know I need alot of practice and I am quite new to the path but it seems to me some of us could use the practice of right speech and right understanding. That's why I constantly ask questions, I want to understand so the things I say and read are right. I just re-read that and it doesn't make a lick of sense but maybe you get my point?
I don't see the forum going into some new direction, I just see the opportunity to reflect and change the things that are wrong by using the basic teachings of Buddha (The Four Noble Truths, The Eightfold Path, etc). Isn't one of the whole things in Buddhism about practice. I don't think any of us is necessarily "enlightened" so we all need practice.
To sum it all up, I still have a long time before going anywhere but this forum. I love the people here, whether they have been here long or just registered. This is my virtual sangha and I hope we can all just reflect and move on. Like I've said to you all many times before, thanks for having me and helping when I've gotten confused or lost on something. And especially thanks to Brian for getting this forum together, I don't know what I would have done without it.
:om:
That was an absolutely beautiful post and I agree 100% with everything you said. In fact, you expressed my thoughts and feelings perfectly. I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks!
Online forums frequently fall prey to persons with sentiments of self-entitlement that often stem from confusing the forum with the institution(s) it is associated with. Conflicts generally arise when a member becomes rude. This often happens not simply from expressing an unpopular position, but by expressing a position in a rude way. Too often (universally, not so much here) a person then compounds their rudeness with a declaration of their right to behave in such a way based on the principles of the institution(s) related to the forum.
On the tech site I run with Brian, it was based on the concept of free speech as defined by the US Bill of Rights. On the college site I help run, it is based on the college's ideas of equity and free speech. Here, it is couched in terms of Buddhist practice.
The problem is that well-run online forums are not equivalent to street corners. They are not bulletin boards in the town square. They are not an upside-down soap box in the park. They are private spaces that are run by private hosts.
Conflict arises when a member forgets they are a guest. If you remain mindful of being in some else's living room (pick your metaphor here!
Brian is a tremendously gracious and accommodating host (and an experienced one). I know he feels blessed to be able to host you (all of you). I am his guest on this site, I co-host another site with him, and I am frequently a guest in his "real-life" house. However, even in the house of a very accommodating host, there are still expectations for you.
Moderators help the host maintain their space, so it is appropriate to work with them as you would the host. It is these personal connections and the respect paid through them that allows a forum to continue to provide a hospitable and welcoming atmosphere. Anything less deteriorates into a battle of egos. This is what I have found to be true in my experiences, anyway.
LFA, you are absolutely correct about the drawbacks of this medium and I think your suggestions are outstanding as well. Cheers!
-The second-quietest moderator :cool:
I think it's also important for the community as a whole to recognize when someone has come here to sow bad feeling and push ideas rather than engage in learning. Someone who does this should get the message (by everyone, not necessarily just moderators) that that sort of behavior is unwelcome here. Stick together!
...which can be practised in all placesd and at all times, under whatever regime. It is categorically different from the illusion of "freedom of speech".
I was merely trying to be brief, succinct and to the point.
If we are as Mindful as we can be, when we inteact with others, theoretically, the bases are covered....
Thank you for starting this thread and putting issues that needed addressed out on the table.
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start,
anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
by Carl Bard
Maybe we should all just take a deep breath, relax and continue from there being more mindful ( as fede stated) with love,kindness, compassion for all, the 4 Noble Truths and the 8 Fold Path utmost in our minds.
Namaste'
Sounds pretty head on to me
Anyway, I'd like to thank everyone so far for responding. This is the kind of feedback I was looking for. Glad to hear from you all.
best wishes & metta.
_/\_
I remember back when this board started and I was the only one on here - before Brian and Matt did a "hostile takeover" on this host - I was the only member out here. It was great! Since I was the ONLY member, everyone agreed with me.
I was right all the time - but I sure didn't learn very much.
As other members have stated, there is a lot lost in an online forum versus a face-to-face conversation. While Right Speech and Mindfulness should be practiced in what we post - for those of us reading the posts - we need to be mindful as well instead of taking everything as a confrontation.
And... as Pally always points out - we are just a bunch of ignorant, sentient beings. Sometimes we're going to screw up. Sometimes were going to be angry. Sometimes we need to step back and view our actions and speech. Do they fall in accordance with the most basic teachings of Buddha?
We can always take these very simple measures in our interaction with people on-line, co-workers, family members, checkers at the grocery store and the stranger on the street.
I still think it's all good.
-bf
I have had my hand slapped on this board several times and even pulled back a few bloodied stubs. Which all gave me great Shenpa. But I 've learned a lot.
I am a control freak with very strong opinions. I have always thought that there was never any ego or attachment in my opinions and advice. But how wrong I was.
Ego and attachment to our thoughts and opinons causes us to not always stop and really listen to others. We all have so much to learn and when we allow ego and attachment to cloud our judgement or our hearing, is that when we stop learning? So many times things are taken personally but they were never meant that way. There is so much to learn here. But we seem to let our personal feelings, our egos and attachments to our opinions get in the way.
I for one will try my best to not do this any more. But I am a work in progress so please bare with me. And when I stumble will someone please help me back up?
Not by me, I hope!!
IntheDharma, this is precisely what we should all be doing for everyone - for one another.... nobody should be afraid to approach their Sangha-fellow-dwellers and gently help them up by cradling their elbow within a helping hand. And nobody should take offence at such assistance.
Whether we do so privately, through PM's (which is probably most appropriate and tactful) or as part of the ongoing discussion, to illustrate our point, our comments should always be couched in affection and Compassion, regardless.
But I will try, as I always have, to be both a good friend to all who post, and a protector too. That's my job.
There is only one perspective and it is as transparent as the individual which it reflects.
Batman Begins
Trust your feelings.
Obi Wan Kenobi
Everything is happening according to my design.
Imperial Emperor
Hmmmm..........
I love mythology!!
I couldn't agree more to this editted edition. :thumbsup:
Hugs to all!
Kim
Buddhism is all about realising that Life is Difficult.
It's about recognising the validity of Self and Not-Self - and it's about living in the Present.
To truly Walk the Talk, I applaud that we have all recognised the values of this Forum, as well as the flaws....
But let's all now move on.
We know we hit the brown stuff, but we know what to do about it too...
let's not keep flaying ourselves with regurgitated guilt.
Be Great,
Be Good,
Be Kind, Loving and Compassionate.
Be Wise.
Be NOW.
First step......Walk on.....
I never said that you had caused any such feelings, just that the influx of new members who might have upset a little of the balance here, as some of us post a lot & we don't really know each other at first.
with metta
_/\_
Enough said Fede............Thanks for sharing!:cheer:
In Gassho
Steve
Fair enough! Same diff'rence!!
I shall crawl through the glass one extra row for such heresey.
In Gassho