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Drugs

indeclineindecline
edited June 2005 in General Banter
Ill admit i abuse drugs... im only 17
alcohol marijuana acid mushrooms DXM MDMA amphetamines cocaine freebase cocaine
essentailly all i could get my hands on
this courious exploration has cost me too much to tell
i cannot lie
i am addicted to marijuana
the rest i can use in moderation without it severely interfereing with my life
none the less this is no excuse
i need guidance, i know i should quit doing drugs
its causing me more harm them good i am sure
the insight ive gained has helped but the damage its done is

i wonder
nature grew these plants
marijuana plans and poppy plants and coca plants and the conversion of sugars to alcohol
why? they must have a purpose
they are medicine no? like tylenol or prozac

should i stop using drugs? i think i like getting high... i
do
but i know it changes my perception my attitude my life
my lungs are terrible my motivation is nonexistant
i know i should quit but i dont


rehab?

im under the influence right now
ill post this

Comments

  • _BeautifulSpringtime_BeautifulSpringtime Veteran
    edited June 2005
    If you wait I think you could get a really good answer from Wolfscalissi.

    He and I are former addicts - but I believe the way he quit was more formally structured than my method so his advice may be more helpful.

    All I can say is when I was using I was running, from everything.

    It was easier for me to run but I'll never go back, this life is too precious and brief to be running all the time.

    As I said - Wolfscalissi will have more productive advice.

    REMEMBER - I am with you.

    And I hope you get better.

    :)
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited June 2005
    Well people used to tell me that pot is natural. i used to answer "yes it is natural until you light it". I have seen rehab not work more times than it does. The perosn has to be commited to it. I have never done drugs. I used to drink a little but not heavily at all. Some of th eother memebrs here can help you more than I. I hope you get this problem sorted out.
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited June 2005
    Indecline, dear child of the Universe,

    No advice, no scolding, just this: you are asking good questions. Know then, first, that you are loved; there is support; there is care.
  • LincLinc Site owner Detroit Moderator
    edited June 2005
    This has been an interesting subject to me for a long time. Drugs are such an odd thing and society has so many preconceptions / attitudes / experiences with them that it's hard to get a clear picture of what to think about them.

    In the end... I will simply echo Simon's words. :)
  • emmakemmak Veteran
    edited June 2005
    i dont know what to say but want to say something. Be smart.
  • AnitaAnita
    edited June 2005
    I myself was a former user of mdma, and a very big marijuana user.
    I stopped because I got deathly ill from the mdma lowering my immune system. And really after doing a hard drug like that I couldn't smoke pot anymore. Messed with my mind. So I can really say that I am drug free and loving it.
    I can't answer why some of these drugs are naturally grown such as cocoa plants and marijuana plants. Maybe they were just plants until someone tinkered with nature. I dont know.
    If you are starting to question yourself, I think you are considering having a life change.

    Drugs can be great...but they will hurt you in the long run.

    I'll leave ya with this quote:

    "There is more to life than increasing its speed"
  • emmakemmak Veteran
    edited June 2005
    I used to be an occasional smoker of the green weed. i liked it. my partner doesnt so i stopped. Drugs do hurt you in the long run, they are bad for the body. we only get one, and we are stuck with it. i work with disabled people and people with mental illness. Appreciate what you have. Dont mess it up. It is all you get. Some people dont even get a chance at that.
  • DharmaKittenDharmaKitten
    edited June 2005
    Indecline, please get professional help immediately. Some of those drugs you are on will literally make permanent holes in your brain if you continue to use them. A mind is a terrible thing to waste like that. I'm glad you've admitted this problem to us, now please seek professional help. Getting off those drugs will be difficult, but not impossible. Of course you like getting high. That's the problems with addiction. You know the logical answer is to quit, but the drugs tell your brain to ignore logic. You need professionals to help you through this because right now the influence of those drugs is too great for you to handle.

    About nature - the reason why many plants make those chemicals is to prevent bugs from eating them. They are nature's pesticide, not medicine. That people have taken the chemicals and further altered them to make money from addicts is a terrible, terrible thing.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited June 2005
    Completely with you on all of that, DharmaKitten.. I second that.... :(

    'Tis part of the cure to WISH to be cured.....'
    Indecline.... don't live up to your name....! Get some help. we can only talk to you and give you our heartfelt advice. but you need something more solid as a foundation for your kicking the habit.... if indeed, you'd like to do that.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited June 2005
    Yes indecline. GET HELP!!!!!
  • indeclineindecline
    edited June 2005
    thank you for all being very supportive
    however unless i go away to a reabilitation center or some half way house i fear i may never quit
    the longest ive gone without drugs in the last 4 years is about a week, and thats when i had absolutely NO access to drugs... no possible way of getting high...

    last month i got drunk and high on all sorts of stuff and went out bikeriding
    i felt invincible, i found out i wasnt......
    i was soon laying in the ER with a concussion...
    but it didnt hurt, i wasnt upset... i just wanted a smoke
    after i got out of the hospital i decided i couldnt smoke weed because itd make me drowzy and i couldnt do anything that would make me sleepy because i might pass out and not wake up.....
    so i spent 4 days drug free...

    i felt great, life seemed meaningful and doing things like school and work seemed exciting, i looked forward to waking up every day... i was able to remember my dreams, i could think more clearly and i was allways in a better mood...

    then i smoked a joint and fell back into old habbits

    whenever i quit for a while, and im presented with the opprotunity to do drugs, i tend to think "why not?" drugs makes certian things like video games or parties more interesting or fun....

    as for cocaine, that shit is evil
    that drug triggers compulsive abuse

    " 'ill never get addicted' was my mantra as i arrogantly supposed myself to be different "



    i know i should quit
    i wont though, i guess because......
    im an addict? are all addicts like this?
    they know they need to quit but they wont because
    they just dont care anymore?
    this apathy atrophies
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited June 2005
    You need someone to tak eyou up to the mountains and just stay away form everything. Do your parents know about your problem?
  • indeclineindecline
    edited June 2005
    haha my parent is part of the problem
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited June 2005
    That's terrible. Not funny at all.
  • DharmaKittenDharmaKitten
    edited June 2005
    Indecline, it looks like you know what you must do, all that's left then is to do it. If it were easy, there wouldn't be so many addicts struggling just to survive. However, from what I've read of your postings you seem like a very insightful, very strong person. I know you can get out of the mess you're in if you can find the right help.
  • BrianBrian Detroit, MI Moderator
    edited June 2005
    Is there a meditation center or temple nearby? They will allow you to stay as long as you want on a retreat. During the retreat you will very likely find your need for drugs will subside, and then you can look at all this with a clear mind. Perhaps you should try a week stint as a novice monk.

    Keep your thoughts pure and your mind clear and you will find your own way out. While you continue clouding your thoughts with drugs, you will not be able to see the truth that is in front of you.
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited June 2005
    Indecline, dear brother on the Dharma Path,

    Is there anything more that we can do for you? Ask and you may be surprised.
  • thebatmanthebatman
    edited June 2005
    You say because drugs are made from plants that nature must have a purpose for them. Nature's only purpose is survival. It is natural for a shark to eat a fish but I wouldn't consider that to be a healthy endeavour for the fish. Poison ivy is natural but it doesn't improve my skin.
    Natural does not necessarily equal healthy.
  • _BeautifulSpringtime_BeautifulSpringtime Veteran
    edited June 2005
    thebatman wrote:
    You say because drugs are made from plants that nature must have a purpose for them. Nature's only purpose is survival. It is natural for a shark to eat a fish but I wouldn't consider that to be a healthy endeavour for the fish. Poison ivy is natural but it doesn't improve my skin.
    Natural does not necessarily equal healthy.

    Indeed!

    The whole reason why these plants have these effects is because they are poisoning you!

    For six years I would feel those poisons course through my viens as I fell asleep.

    I can only say that I will never go back - running from life just gets you further from yourself.

    I hope you can find the strength to beat this disease - we are all with you.

    Peace
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