Expect the worst?

adam

Just before i fell asleep last night, I kind of realized something about myself. I think that I tend to expect the worst case of situations. Any situations, it's like I always prepare for the worst thing to happen. Obviously the "worst thing" very rarely happens, but I prepare myself for it. Also I think that I look for the worst in people sometimes. I believe that this has caused stress in my life and would appreciate any advice from others. Thanks for listening.

Adam

Palzang

The nice thing about Buddhism is that you can learn to expect the best by creating the causes for the best to happen. The Law of Karma taught by the Buddha, which is nothing more than cause and effect, shows us that whatever we experience is due to the causes created by no one other than ourselves. So by planting virtuous and meritorious seeds, we can expect to have good results. If you do experience bad things, it is because of previous nonvirtuous and nonmeritorious causes which are coming to fruition.

As for your looking for the bad in people, I'd say that is a reflection of your own bad opinion, or mistrust, of yourself. What helps with this is learning how to become your own best friend, to experience your own natural goodness. If you can do that, it will change your entire world outlook.

Palzang

adam

Thank you Palzang. As far as karma goes, I guess I'm at a point where some things are catching up to me. Being new to Buddhism, I never thought about it like that before. I will start planting better seeds. What is the expression: An "idiot" is one who does the same action over and over expecting a different result.

A mistrust or bad opinion of myself. That I never contemplated. Do you have any advice on how to experience my own goodness? Again thank you very much for sharing your opinion with me.

Adam

Palzang

Instead of "idiot", I'd say "ignorant sentient being" because that's what we all do.

As for the other, you might want to consider doing Shambhala Training. It's a series of classes, experiences, whatever you want to call it, where the main point is to experience your own basic goodness. It's an excellent program, very much attuned to Westerners (begun by Chogyam Trungpa back in 1976). You can find info about it at shambhala.org or at a Shambhala center if there's one near you (they have a list on their site). Books by Ven. Pema Chodron are also excellent to read.

Palzang

Palzang

I did a quick check, and the closest Shambhala centers to you are in Washington, DC (actually Silver Spring, MD) and Durham, NC. None in Virginia, unfortunately.

Palzang

Xrayman

As for your looking for the bad in people, I'd say that is a reflection of your own bad opinion, or mistrust, of yourself. What helps with this is learning how to become your own best friend, to experience your own natural goodness. If you can do that, it will change your entire world outlook.

Palzang

(One day i will learn how to take snippetts of peoples work and place it properly into my posts)
Anyway, this seems to be quite true palzang.

My wife and I have been accused of doing some illegal and unethical things by some people over the years (things we didn't do, or would even think of doing) however, the people that most likely accuse you are so much more likely to do the "thing in question" themselves!

Birds of a feather?

cheers

adam

Palzang, like you said there isn't a center very close to me, but that won't stop me from reading more about Shambhala. I appreciate your advice. I have a lot to learn about myself. And I do have to change my view of people.

Xrayman, I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. I will remember what you said. I have to examine inward on myself. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Adam

Palzang

Xray, when things like that happen, someone falsely accuses you or gets angry at you for no apparent cause, that's just karma. In other words, you created the causes for that to happen by your own actions in the past. The value of knowing that is not to blame the other person for their actions (that's their problem), but to see it as an opportunity to examine yourself and your own actions because quite often we'll find that the habitual tendencies which caused the event in the first place still reside in your mind. So now you have an opportunity to become aware of those tendencies and to do something about them. That's why we say that we should regard others as deities who are teaching us because if we look at the world properly, that's exactly what's going on.

Palzang

federica

Palzang wrote:

Xray, when things like that happen, someone falsely accuses you or gets angry at you for no apparent cause, that's just karma. In other words, you created the causes for that to happen by your own actions in the past.

Palzang

May I take it, Palzang, that this might mean a past before this Life, as we know it?

I'm just clarifying, because sometimes, resentment might arise when someone is recommended to look to their own past, little realizing perhaps, that 'Past' is not confinded to 'living memory' as such....
You mean, perhaps, to look beyond, accept and have compassion for ones' self as well....?

Palzang

Sure, of course, Fed. Most often when something comes out of the blue seemingly that's exactly what is going on. That's why we can't trust our own senses and memory to judge what's really going on in our lives because our view is extremely limited. We can only remember this life (sort of), not all the countless other ones we have lived, and causes set forth in previous lives have a nasty habit of showing up unannounced in this life and we have no clue where they came from. So we look outside ourselves for the cause, blaming it on "others" or "God" or whatever when the real cause is us.

"We have met the enemy, and it is us!" --Pogo

Palzang

federica

Oh, good! So it wasn't 'my' fault, it was the fault of my other 'me'! That's ok then!

See? I tole you I was blameless....!

(Pass the buck, that's what I say....)



Thank you Palzang, it's as I had thought.... :bowdown:

Celebrin

only thing to fear is fear itself.. What we see as blame only holds us back