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What A Weird World!
ajani_mgo
Veteran
Well I've been like extinct for quite a while but here's it!
Today as I was done from my sorta weekly swimming session, I walked to the bus interchange and waited for my bus to arrive.
Strangely, I saw this Malay lady in a tudung, which by itself was actually quite usual. But I mean she was like wow - wearing some low-cut black gown and sorta see-through attire and I was stunned for a minute.
Then I saw this nun excitedly chasing after a bus. Well, it wouldn't actually be weird, but there was the world looking at me while I was exploring my own stereotypes about the conservative tudung and the serene nun.
Hmm...
Today as I was done from my sorta weekly swimming session, I walked to the bus interchange and waited for my bus to arrive.
Strangely, I saw this Malay lady in a tudung, which by itself was actually quite usual. But I mean she was like wow - wearing some low-cut black gown and sorta see-through attire and I was stunned for a minute.
Then I saw this nun excitedly chasing after a bus. Well, it wouldn't actually be weird, but there was the world looking at me while I was exploring my own stereotypes about the conservative tudung and the serene nun.
Hmm...
0
Comments
Hi aj.,
Are you saying that this lady was wearing a tudung, which we call a hijab, and, thus protecting you from the temptation that uncovered female hair presents, whilst, at the same time, displaying the charms that lurk elsewhere?
I have always found that very useful.
I cannot take as much crap as last time before I go into withdrawal mode... It's pretty hard to find the right time for introspection even, sometimes even my introspection is accompanied by negative inner voices. How not me.
Provisional entrance into the junior colleges for 3 months is allowed in Singapore before the release of the "O" Levels results. In this period of time, students who make it into their respective JCs are usually not as serious about school as-is the norm.
Failing to keep up properly with my tutorials, I have identified my lack of attendance during lectures as the main reason. As such, despite it being the norm to skip classes, go crazy and have fun during these 3 months, I have decided to try and minimize the number of classes I have skipped. It is insignificant actually, whether I attend or not, for after the 3 months, when we are officially full-time students, the very same topics would be re-covered. Yet, I know that I suck in studies, so I'm not taking chances.
But for that, my social life is put to a risk. I'm being negatively-branded, and I don't take the hackneyed advice of leaving my peers who do so as medicine. But darn it sucks, I'm losing the very clear balance in my life I used to so have, and my confidence has taken a slight blow. Trying to get the Zen in me as I live my life everyday, it's working fine, but the external is much more dominating than the internal.
I'm barely in my college's swim team. I think I can make the cut even though my standard now isn't. But I am very sure that I will be in there after it all. For that, I require commitment to it which has to be factored into my balance equation. And as of now, the swim team people are probably the only group of people I'm completely happy with.
AH, THE ELUSIVE BALANCE TO FIND!
But there are a couple billion people who'd love to change places with you right now. You're young, you're beautiful, and you have so many interesting journeys ahead of you.
Ultimately, everything is temporary, so temporary solutions are fine.
May YOU be happy always, TOO, AJANI!
Politics seems to be prevalent everywhere, and so was I a witness to the malicious words of others around me behind the backs of those I knew as well.
I sat there listening, reviewing my own views and impressions about others, the characters and all, as I always did best at. Using my knowledge about each other's character, I was able to use it to bring myself to feel aware as always, and work with people the way they liked to be worked with. Of course though, I'm not perfect at this. There are always people I must leave out for this to work.
In an afternoon lesson, I reviewed the characters of the people in our class with a classmate I thought wasn't like one of the zombies you see around without clear thinking processes.
Surprisingly, we actually could go into a deep discussion of the individuals who made up the class, and understand their agendas and views.
This, I realised, was my strength. Sometimes I used it as a tool of introspection, checking myself relative to others, then thinking about my actions and thoughts to others.
And I should notice that I was not really that negatively-branded. I ought to have had trusted my own head. Trying to balance it all, I thought I still didn't had it. But well, finally today, having time to clear my head, and having the chance to be away from a certain peer, I thought that perhaps all I needed was time to pause and think.
Well, the external negative talk will still carry on when that peer returns to school... But meanwhile, hopefully I can manage. And when he returns, maybe I should relax and try to work out a compromise again.