The Anima and Animus
Mingle
Veteran
Another really interesting topic I've wanted to delve into but can't really find a satisfying amount of info on. It's a theory put forward by Carl Jung and describes how we contain structures of the opposite sex within us. We grow up with this archtype of male and female and that archetype is influenced by strong male and female characters in our life ie Mum and Dad. If you are a male you have an anima which represents any qualities you deem feminine and if you're female you have an animus which represents the qualities you deem masculine.
These archtypes have a powerful influence on how you see and interact with the opposite sex as we project our anima/animus onto them. This is why we put them on pedastals or have relationships with people that resemble our parents (and only you cant see it.
Our relationship with our anima/animus can be of denial or acceptance as they are part of us and these qualities we project onto our partners wether good or bad our in fact our own and relating to your anima/animus is vital for growth and better relationships.
Anyway you guys prolly know this already but I just wanna show you where I'm at. I find this subject very interesting but I can never find out how exactly you go about relating to you're anima/animus. Would I have to start cross dressing or something lol?
Comments
Nah - no cross-dressing necessary.
I'm pretty sure it's more about attitudes that we may take on at our convenience - such as, I'm female but I put on the robe of power in expressing one's self - projecting confidence about myself and prowess - that I know what I'm talking about. BUT obviously that's more about image - more about individual personality. I guess. I don't think these things are as they seem, tbh. It's all a psychological gobbledy-gook and mumbo-jumbo even if some of it just happens to make some sense.
I guess that's what they mean about guys being in touch with their feminine side, or women displaying masculine qualities, in order to make it in a man's world.
The truth is we all have different sides to our temperaments, that allow men to be feminine and gentle or allow women to be authoritative and 'masterful'.
Different women have these latter qualities to varying degrees according to their genetic make-up. Men also have the former qualities to varying degrees, for the same reasons.
Arguably you may have effeminate homosexuals, and very macho lesbians.
but I don't know enough about the distribution of chromosomes or genetics to be able to comment further, on this specific aspect.
Suffice to say, whatever one's degrees of temperamental variations, that's absolutely fine, and it's perfectly ok.
In any case, @Mingle you need to take careful note of @karasti's comment, here. She makes valid points, of which you should take note, rather than flitting from topic to topic.
Focus.
You need to focus, and consider the lessons therein.
You're the one who wants to change.
So be proactive, and take such comments to heart, and give them serious consideration.
Anima and animus are explored in Wicca if your really interested.
I actually thought that this topic is related to the Madonna whore complex. Seeing as it is affects how one views women and male femininity as a whole I thought this was very fitting.
Sure, @Mingle, but that's a neat subconscious way of avoiding the issue, abandoning the thread and steering the topic (in my opinion) in an entirely different direction.
Maybe your original post should have detailed the connection between the two.
You seem very preoccupied with sexuality, identification and differentiation.
What of anything Buddhist, are you bringing to the discussion?
I mean, this is a Buddhist forum, right?
I'm sure there are plenty of relationship forums where such discussion would fit appropriately....
I like the yin yang for this. There is a little spot of yin in the yangest on the yang scale and vice versa.
Denying your femininity ironically stunts your masculinity.
I'd just be yourself. Did you know that all fetus start out as female?
It is all linked honestly, I'm trying to find answers without getting too personal. I think it has already anyway. Just kinda got this oneitis thing going on if you know what that is?
I thought my topics were at the very least interesting but if you find them exasperating I'll stop.
Yep. Isn't that why men have nipples?
Maybe @Mingle is a frustrated comedian...
Oh, trust me, I'm in stitches, here.....
I was being serious
@Mingle, I think she was being facetious, ha ha!
Incidentally, it's not the subject matter it's something else.
@mingle I think you are making the whole thing too complicated by trying to think your way through it rather than feel your way through and figure out who you are as a result. We all carry unique balances of all these features, like @federica said. It is not as simple as 2 genders and 2 ways of expressing those genders. Many people are quite a lot more aware about such things than you give them credit for (meaning, your comment about how we might be attracted to someone like our parent without knowing). Many people have grown far beyond where you are stuck. Many of us were there at one point. But trusting enough to open up and be vulnerable enough to yourself is the only way to work through it. Just be who you are. It seems simple enough. Except for some, who we truly are is covered up by our upbringing, our culture, and many other experiences so we have to dig deeper to figure that out and be comfortable expressing it. With things such as this, especially this, I think labels fail us miserably because the variability is just too great. Trying to put these topics in a box like that just makes it more confusing as it shuts down that openness that is required to understand it.
Besides @karasti's insightful post, @Mingle, you also have to consider (in Buddhist terms) that this is all just ego, and pandering to fluctuating, varying and transient emotions, all of which are really inhibitors to personal progress. In order to grow and mature, you need to study what the Buddha says about pondering topics that really lead you away from exploring Self/Not-Self, and dependent origination.
This is all trivia. It's all a question of temporary significance.
It really doesn't matter, because you just need to drop it all anyway as excess baggage. What you believe matters now, really doesn't.
What does matter is understanding that the Self, is an illusory temporary condition.
Once you look past all the dross and detritus you gather as apparently significant, and see it for what it really is - Papanca - you can stat to shed the layers of self-centredness (as we all must) and move towards a more Wise and Loving level.
That makes perfect sense. I'm always thinking too much and trying to understand everything so I guess feeling just becomes forced. Feeling doesn't work like that though.
I do understand what you mean now. This all has been over thinking and trying to put things in boxes. Very anti Buddhist or unskilled in fact. Trying to understand such things only complicates them more right? Perhaps I should just feel what I feel and not judge, saying that makes It just all seem so simple.
Its just this, I have been obsessing over this one woman for the best part of the year. Its not a problem, I kind if like it. I know its in fact the image I want and not her. I just wanted to explore it and see if I could learn something about myself from it.
Thanks anyway. Things seem a bit more clear.
Aha!
Well then your course of action is clear. Serenade her with the didgeridoo. Be sure to get good and drunk first, it enhances the effect. All women are irresistibly attracted to good looking aggressive alpha males with a full head of hair drunkenly playing the didgeridoo. Can't fail.
I suspect that at some level, you are able to have a look at yourself and assess what's important in your life, what path you'd like to be on, and which rafts you're ready to leave behind.
Reading this in tesco. That definitely made me grin.
Ah, Tescos! All of life's rich tapestry!
Sounds like one of my best friends. I've known the guy since grade 2 and he just woke up in time to save his life but he will never work again.
Do you have a Jack Daniels sticker on your guitar?
Glad he caught it before full impact.
Ha -- no stickers on the guitars!