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Punched a Kid Yesterday
I have a friend at school. He suffers from what I think to be Asperger's Syndrome. Basically, it makes you interact differently in a social environment. He is impaired slightly both mentally and physically with bizarre and repetitive rituals and often strange communication. However, he is extremely intelligent and one of the nicest kids I know at my school. I tell him all about my doomed, romantic endeavors which make him laugh.
Despite his overwhelmingly non-agressive personality, he remains the target of several bullies at my school. One of whom has received contempt from me not exceeded by anyone else. I talk to him occasionally but internally despise him. He is really the only person in my life that I can genuinely say I dislike. Pardon my french, but he's an ass.
I avoid this bully at all costs and when my Aspie friend is picked on, I try to cheer him up afterward and just ignore the idiots bothering him at all costs. However, the aforementioned ass seems to enjoy bothering me as well.
But I am as non-violent as they come. I avoid confrontation at all costs and generally consider myself a pacifist. Although I am tall, strong, and perhaps intimidating, I have mentioned to friends that as an artist, I have no use for violence. This is all true and fine. But unfortunately for this bully, it only is true when I am in a normal mental state. Yesterday, was not one of those days.
Lately, I have felt kind of depressed. I don't know why. I can't point to any particular reason or big change in my life. I have just felt like I am in a rut. Mood swings have been frequent and yesterday, I found myself in a particularly bad mood.
For nearly the entire 1st class of the day, I had to watch my friend with Asperger's get tormented by the senior kid next to him. As usual, neither he nor I did anything to stop it. And yet, what can we do? If he is indeed an Aspie, which I am nearly certain of, he won't defend himself. And what can an idealist musican like myself to about it. Nothing.
That is at least until a different bully, (again the ass from above) decided to turn his malevolence towards me. Walking through the gymnasium, I was in a bad mood and felt even worse by the thought of my friend. All of the sudden, the sophomore bully jabs me in the ribs from behind (a common and most annoying ritual of his).
I turn around and start cursing at him telling him to go away. I continue walking until he again stops me this time trying to knock the books out of my hands. Without hardly a thought, I swing my right arm around intending to hit him in the gut. But since he was crouched over slightly already, my elbow instead contacts with his face. He falls back almost in tears and possibly bleading from the lip. He tries to push me back, but I shove him forcefully out of my way.
"What'd you do that for? I could kick your ass," he whined.
"Because you're a moron. And the next time you touch me, I promise today will only be a taste of what you'll get," I asserted back to him.
*Keep in mind that the above confrontation was much more vulgar in language. But I felt it was unnecessary to be graphic here.
He walked away as did I despite the onlookers. I did not get in any trouble for what I did and can't honestly say that I am remorseful for doing what I did. I was just surprised. I have not lifted a hand to intentionally hurt someone in some 6 years or so. It is very uncharacteristic of me.
I don't know what it was. The depression, my bullied friend, or a combination of different things. Any other day, I would have grudgingly laughed off the annoyance of one bully, but he caught me on a bad day.
I don't know what to expect from the future posters on this thread. Or for that matter, why I even am sharing this. I just want to gauge the reaction of different people. My aspie friend was certainly grateful for hitting "that numbskull" as he said. I can no doubt anticipate some interesting discussion on the matter.
Despite his overwhelmingly non-agressive personality, he remains the target of several bullies at my school. One of whom has received contempt from me not exceeded by anyone else. I talk to him occasionally but internally despise him. He is really the only person in my life that I can genuinely say I dislike. Pardon my french, but he's an ass.
I avoid this bully at all costs and when my Aspie friend is picked on, I try to cheer him up afterward and just ignore the idiots bothering him at all costs. However, the aforementioned ass seems to enjoy bothering me as well.
But I am as non-violent as they come. I avoid confrontation at all costs and generally consider myself a pacifist. Although I am tall, strong, and perhaps intimidating, I have mentioned to friends that as an artist, I have no use for violence. This is all true and fine. But unfortunately for this bully, it only is true when I am in a normal mental state. Yesterday, was not one of those days.
Lately, I have felt kind of depressed. I don't know why. I can't point to any particular reason or big change in my life. I have just felt like I am in a rut. Mood swings have been frequent and yesterday, I found myself in a particularly bad mood.
For nearly the entire 1st class of the day, I had to watch my friend with Asperger's get tormented by the senior kid next to him. As usual, neither he nor I did anything to stop it. And yet, what can we do? If he is indeed an Aspie, which I am nearly certain of, he won't defend himself. And what can an idealist musican like myself to about it. Nothing.
That is at least until a different bully, (again the ass from above) decided to turn his malevolence towards me. Walking through the gymnasium, I was in a bad mood and felt even worse by the thought of my friend. All of the sudden, the sophomore bully jabs me in the ribs from behind (a common and most annoying ritual of his).
I turn around and start cursing at him telling him to go away. I continue walking until he again stops me this time trying to knock the books out of my hands. Without hardly a thought, I swing my right arm around intending to hit him in the gut. But since he was crouched over slightly already, my elbow instead contacts with his face. He falls back almost in tears and possibly bleading from the lip. He tries to push me back, but I shove him forcefully out of my way.
"What'd you do that for? I could kick your ass," he whined.
"Because you're a moron. And the next time you touch me, I promise today will only be a taste of what you'll get," I asserted back to him.
*Keep in mind that the above confrontation was much more vulgar in language. But I felt it was unnecessary to be graphic here.
He walked away as did I despite the onlookers. I did not get in any trouble for what I did and can't honestly say that I am remorseful for doing what I did. I was just surprised. I have not lifted a hand to intentionally hurt someone in some 6 years or so. It is very uncharacteristic of me.
I don't know what it was. The depression, my bullied friend, or a combination of different things. Any other day, I would have grudgingly laughed off the annoyance of one bully, but he caught me on a bad day.
I don't know what to expect from the future posters on this thread. Or for that matter, why I even am sharing this. I just want to gauge the reaction of different people. My aspie friend was certainly grateful for hitting "that numbskull" as he said. I can no doubt anticipate some interesting discussion on the matter.
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Comments
I wasn't too surprised. If he makes another such threat, I will demand that he prove himself right there and just do it otherwise proving his cowardice.
Actually I don't see anything wrong with what you did. He's a bully, and you showed him you're not the one to mess with. I doubt he'll bother you ever again, quite frankly. He'll go for easier game.
When I was in junior high school (that's what us old-timers called middle school), a yellow-eyed demon (actually some kid I had never seen before and didn't know at all) decided he was going to bully me, lord knows why. He would wait on the corner opposite school until I came along and then trot along beside me, hurling insults and whatever. I never responded at all and ignored him as if he wasn't there. This, of course, only egged him on. One day he had a friend with him. He started into his usual rant, and I, as usual, ignored him. His friend stayed out of it. Apparently to show off for his friend, he got more hostile than normal and really began to irritate me. Finally I had had enough, put down my band instrument and set my books on top of it, and shoved him away as hard as I could. He shot across the sidewalk and into a white picket fence, which very nearly gave way. The look on his face was worth pure gold! His jaw - and his friend's - nearly hit the pavement. Of course, when he finally staggered to his feet, he muttered some vague threats, but I never, ever saw him again, not around school, nowhere. It's like he had gone back to the hell realms or something. He did have the yellowest eyes I'd ever seen, at least on a human being (assuming he was!).
I've never regretted my actions. The only thing that I wish I could change about the incident would be that he had gone through the fence completely, but life's not perfect. People like him think someone who is quiet and studious equates to weakness, and as both of us found out (and probably surprised ourselves in the process) that's not true at all. It's the bully who in truth is the weak one, and quite pitiful to boot.
The weirdest part is I never did say a word to him...
Palzang
I admire your insight at such a young age ... When I was younger I would of stomped the guy into the ground and claimed a victory to place on my trophy rack.
Here is my two cents .. some 25 years later ...
What has happened has happened .. it is over .. now what can you learn from it ??
If my finger is infected and I risk losing my hand I may have no choice but to cut off my own finger. I would not curse or swear at my finger .. in fact I don't want to cut it off it is my finger afterall !!! I don't try to defeat the finger but save the hand.
If I must defend myself .. this is the state of mind I would hope to have .. my enemy is my own finger... there is no victory involved in cutting ones own finger or any need to get emotional and let anger and hate take center stage.
The intentions to help your friend could easily be overcome by anger and hatred so be careful ... pay attention to the feelings .. it is a fine line one walks when in battle .. what is driving you ???
When one must do battle ... "The soul MUST be the warrior" .. since all our lives are connected and precious .... remember that.
One does not cut there own finger off with glee .. one should not feel equal glee in battle.
It's funny ... many of the guys we use to rumble with as teenagers are now married to friends of friends... we sometimes meet and say .. " Hey we know you guys .. we use to beat each other up !! "
So don't take things too serious ... chill :winkc:
Good Day ...
Do what you have to do at the time you do it. Then move on.
Regret what you want to regret. Mend what you want to mend, accept what you want to accept, be pleased with that which pleases you.
Handle 'Now' and let 'before' rest where it is.
My lesson for the day ... Thanks.
Good Day ...
Asperger's is a form of autism and it is not characterized by an absolute inability to hit back. I don't know where you got that. It's also dangerous to diagnose disorders in others when one is not qualified.
I know I am not qualified. I only go by what I have seen. I have done some research on that form of Autism and my friend fits it almost perfectly. Maybe not all people with Asperger's are incapable of hitting back, but my friend certainly is.