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Hwadu / koan practice

troysantostroysantos
edited December 2009 in Buddhism Today
HIYA!

I do hwadu / koan practice. I understand that a person needs to have that burning desire to realize the answer before they're gonna get it. Thing is, I don't have that burning desire. As I sit, I am more often than not concerned with thoughts. So, I wonder who can relate to this and what you have to say in regard to not having that burning desire.

Comments

  • Bunny_HereBunny_Here Explorer
    edited July 2007
    Hi back and ya,

    Sorry for the delay in my reply.

    Yes, I have felt this lack of desire. I have felt it both when beginning a koan, and when working on a koan for a while. What has your roshi said about your lack of burning desire? My old roshi would probably say that it is good that you do not have that burning desire. Of course, he is the same roshi that told me to not work on any more koans and to do shikantaza instead. :smilec:

    Please do not be hard on yourself for this lack of burning desire. Just sit with your koan.

    Peace,
    Bunny_Here
  • troysantostroysantos
    edited July 2007
    I'm in South Korea and don't speak that much Korean. Plus, the abbot has been out so much that I hardly see him. When he's here, he's busy. And, I've been a bit shy about asking him the few times I have had the chance to ask him. I've asked my friend, who helps me with so many things. It always seems to me that she isn't very open to this discussion. She always seems to get upset when I say something along these lines. So I've decided to stop talking with her about certain things. I have decided, just in the past minute or so, to tell the abbot. It will be broken Korean, but he will understand. I've talked with another person about this, but he didn't have anything to offer. Thanks for replying. Really grateful. - Troy.
  • Bunny_HereBunny_Here Explorer
    edited July 2007
    Hi Troy,

    I hesitate to give any more of a personal reply. Koans are designed to test the understanding of the student. Teachers use many criteria to do this. Your abbot may find that your lack of desire to be a satisfactory answer to the koan, or perhaps an indication to sit further with it.

    Please let us know how it goes.

    Bunny_Here

    P.S. Are you still looking to come to California?
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited July 2007
    Maybe this is not a form of practise suited to you?
    There are other ways and means of attaining what you seek through other avenues...
    maybe you might be more suited to a different discipline.

    That's all....
  • WonMyungWonMyung
    edited December 2009
    Troy,

    I realize this is a very old post and you've probably moved beyond this question in your practice....

    There are only three mistakes in your question:

    1. You make "I'
    2. You presume that "I" understands
    3. You look for answers to your Hwadu
    Just sit and do your practice. Don't make more thinking. Don't look for anything...
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