Euthanasia pets and practice/education

paska

I am in pre basic program in tibetan Buddhism ie discovery of Buddhism. I plan on taking at least the basic program a intermediate program that relies on morals ie basic layvows ie no murder.

I have 2 cats one healthy the other on a special diet crystals bladder/kidney now she’s depressed and behavioraly challenged like her mommy sigh . I could rehome one when time comes the other can’t. She’s peeing on me for over a year for once a month now it’s getting worse twice a month. I am extremely poor so taking a pet to vet for behavior problems is a waste of money but let me remind you it’s not about money. I rather see her not suffer. She’s my child I love her would I do euthanasia if I had and probably would if it doesn’t get better on meds my human child no.
I know as a student learning it’s a violation of morals and can be very bad for my teacher , sangha and myself karma and practice.

At this point nunnery may not be a option but I could still teach if my teacher my sangha says so because of this. And I am cleared by my parents unofficial guardians for my disability for nunnery but it would be a bad situation with my family I don’t wanna do. I want to be nun if capable ie depression ie behavior problems. But I don’t wanna a rift between my parents. I can do the masters program online with monastery teachers but seven yrs around 2030 is restive on vacation ect time during class schedule. They have breaks. Then theirs a month long retreat I think in person for intermediate and masters program. My mom said she watch my cats but that’s a to much time. It’s a lamrim retreat the monstary is offering a 2 yr online lamrim program but I don’t know if this is the one.