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Soma and the Death of Satire
My school has an organization as do most schools that seeks to promote a "drug free lifestyle." Now, as you may have guessed, I never formally joined this group because I really don't have a problem with what people do on their own time providing it doesn't hurt me. The fact that I enjoy hookah and cigars could also be a factor in my lack of participation in the group. I have always had moral qualms with this group. My suspicions from Freshman year have proven true. (Many members do drugs anyway)
Now occasionally, on Myspace, I write a blog about something. One was a very subtle criticism of a girl who had committed suicide. I argued why life was worth living and asked why everyone around me seemed so ungrateful. Another one was a list of guidelines on what I look for in a girl and the rest were mostly short fiction I had written. All of these have been received well.
My most recent one, a satirical attack on my school's anti-drug organization, is not being taken well. Although my disclaimer in the beginning could have ruined the affect, I made sure to take extra caution not to offend anyone in this. But I did apparently.
For drifting through insomnia while writing this the other night, I thought I did a fine job. For anyone not familiar with "soma," it is the fictional drug used to replace bad thoughts with pleasing hallucinations in the book Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.
For whatever reason though, it seems people reading it so far do not understand what it means to be satirical. The whole point of this blog was mainly to criticize my school's bizarre tactics of being fiercely anti-smoking and anti-drinking, while at the same time, feeding its members tons of unhealthy foods at the meetings. All I want is a little consistency.
I think the prohibitions against drugs should be lifted and I believe also that the so called "War on Drugs" is a farce. In order to make my point clear, I envisioned a world that would apply the same prohibitive policies towards junk food instead.
One of my friends, who belongs to the school organization in question (AND who also uses marijuana frequently!) took offense at this. What a strange school I go to.
Now occasionally, on Myspace, I write a blog about something. One was a very subtle criticism of a girl who had committed suicide. I argued why life was worth living and asked why everyone around me seemed so ungrateful. Another one was a list of guidelines on what I look for in a girl and the rest were mostly short fiction I had written. All of these have been received well.
My most recent one, a satirical attack on my school's anti-drug organization, is not being taken well. Although my disclaimer in the beginning could have ruined the affect, I made sure to take extra caution not to offend anyone in this. But I did apparently.
I just hope you guys can understand satire or you might be offended by this.
*END DISCLAIMER*
Occasionally, I get asked why I am not in TI (Teen Institue). For those of you not familiar with this organization, it is basically akin to D.A.R.E. from back in grade school. Essentially, it is a pseudo-autonomous organization overseen by a teacher "moderator". This group purports to be "fun" and "safe." (The former is questionable.) It also claims to be "drug free"; clearly the most laughable of the three traits.
Now first of all, I dislike the idea of "organized fun". It makes my skin crawl. Anytime that adults try to dictate what is fun for teenagers, you can be sure that kids will feel some aversion to it. (I include myself in this). And "safety" is often times the antithesis of fun. "Fun" is often times not "safe." (Intramural football anyone?)
Look, TI, DARE, and all the anti-drug campaigns, really are useless. In the end, it is all up to personal choice, which is why these drug campaigns will continuously fail. No organization, parent, government, tyrant, or even the gods themselves can control human choice. And trust me, they have tried. If Interpol cannot stop the flow of drugs and their usage, what makes you think a myopic ogranization like TI can do it?
The truth is...they can't; which is why I am offering a new paradigm for TI. Clearly, some direction is needed in this organization. The needless "War on Drugs" has been a crushing defeat, so let's declare a truce with Drugs and move on to the next scourge of innocent children....Food.
That's right, it is time for America to rise up and launch a "War on Food". Every year, thousands of people die at a depressingly young age from heart attacks due to clogged arteries. Think of the all the fatherless boys who will grow up without a positive role model this year alone just because of food addiction.
That is why I am proposing the creation of two new organizations....for the children.
1) D. O. N. T
Diabolical Overeaters Need Treatment
DONT serves as a rehabilitation and support group for those already suffering from junk food consumption. It is imperative that we be as delicate as possible with these emotionally fragile people. People that engage in the eating of such heinous products like ice cream or Cheetoes are often accompanied not only by low self esteem, but denial as well.
DONT offers rehab session for these victims of junk food abuse where they can stay and eat nothing but protein bars and carrots for a duration of 6 months.
The second new organization is....
2) The Soma Society
What better way to combat your hedonistic, immoral appetites than by offering children a more "natural" outlet for their rage. You guessed it! Drugs! Hallucinogens, heroin, marijuana, cocaine, LSD, and the whole alphabet soup of plants you can smoke!
Unlike The Soma Society's misguided predecessor, TI, which sought to eliminate drug use by feeding its members inordinate amounts of unhealthy food, the new society seeks to eliminate the consumption of unhealthy foods by innoculating its members with drugs! It is a wonder that nobody ever thought of this before!
Any food that does not fall into the government approved "Food Sphynx," will be banned outright and violators will be harshly punished. Just a few food items that are to be banned....
-Cheetoes
-Ice Cream
-Cake
-Almonds
-Spinach (it could kill you!)
-Pizza
And many more.
I have every hope in the next generation of teens that we can one day have a VF Day on some battleship somewhere (Victory Over Fod Day).
I dream of a day when ALL children can grow up to be free of the snares of food. A day when those children can grow up to be old, decrepit, and die a graceful death of drug overdose rather than a dispicable, disgraceful death like a heart attack. (Is that how you want to be remembered by your children?!?)
In the end, the choice is up to you. (And to the government to kick down the door of anyone suspected of junk food possession). It will be a long road and victory will not come easy. But I am confident that with enough government regulation and the implementation of DONT and The Soma Society, we can build a better world.
Remember the children!
For drifting through insomnia while writing this the other night, I thought I did a fine job. For anyone not familiar with "soma," it is the fictional drug used to replace bad thoughts with pleasing hallucinations in the book Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.
For whatever reason though, it seems people reading it so far do not understand what it means to be satirical. The whole point of this blog was mainly to criticize my school's bizarre tactics of being fiercely anti-smoking and anti-drinking, while at the same time, feeding its members tons of unhealthy foods at the meetings. All I want is a little consistency.
I think the prohibitions against drugs should be lifted and I believe also that the so called "War on Drugs" is a farce. In order to make my point clear, I envisioned a world that would apply the same prohibitive policies towards junk food instead.
One of my friends, who belongs to the school organization in question (AND who also uses marijuana frequently!) took offense at this. What a strange school I go to.
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Comments
Well, the fact that my friend belongs to an organization that stands in direct opposition to her lifestyle, is I think proof positive that the group's influence is laughable. I thought of all the people that would read it, my friends who use drugs would enjoy it the most.
Thanks for sharing your Great Spirit with us. With all the CRAP in the world we need a lot more harmless counterpointing by our [hopefully] friendly-rebellious youth. I mean, sometimes you just have to remind people that life is not a prison sentence, and that they need to lighten up a bit on the big issues over which they really don't have much control anyway.
Those who think one always has to toe the line need to be shaken gently every now and then. And you're a fine fellow to do just that. If people overreact, that is not your problem. Until they annul the First Amendment, keep up the high spirits. I reckon the Truth lies closer to the side of the Thinkers than to that of the mere Receivers of established thought.
I sure wish you'd start a few new threads. They're so much fun.
I was just thinking about your latest Muslim one today, being a little sympathetic to your case, thinking that if you didn't single out any One particular religious system as being singularly objectionably pompous, I could go along with your thinking a lot farther. Almost all the religions have their overly pompous and fanatical sides, unfortunately. I, for one, would like them all to remember constantly the basic humility that their founders so extolled.
Season's Greetings and a good Report on all your Exams and Papers, Kind Sir!
BTW, soma is also a mythic drug or elixir the ancient Hindu savants used to drink. Some sources say it was hallucinogenic in nature. Emerson wrote quite a lot about it in allusion to the ancient Hindus.
Fondly,
Nirvy
I can't help myself. No offence intended to Hindu's and I actually rather like their art. That being said...
I guess this soma stuff could help explain the origin of Hindu art: "I was tripping out and saw this guy with 4 arms and 10 heads..."
:crazy:
Nirvana is right, Vedantist Huxley borrowed the expession Soma from Vedic culture.