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Deep appreciation
So, I've been spending some time on another Buddhist board called BuddhaChat. It's a "lively" board, to put it nicely. I don't want to rag on it or anything but I must say that almost every thread on it usually deteriorates into some petty argument about semantics or some other off topic thing and it can get quite nasty more often than not. There are a lot of people and most of them are wonderful and so helpful and I've learned a lot from them. But there are a few who cause havoc and division and unfortunately they post the most messages and it's impossible to avoid them. They're everywhere.
When I came here today I had the most wonderful feeling. I realized as I was typing a response to a thread here that I felt completely at home and had great love and a deep appreciation for all of my sangha siblings here. It was a rush of gratitude for you all and this site in general. To think of all the love and support I've received here, not to mention everything you've all taught me, is almost overwhelming.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. And especially to Brian for creating and keeping this site going through thick and thin. Thank you, Brian! I don't know where I'd be without NewBuddhist.
When I came here today I had the most wonderful feeling. I realized as I was typing a response to a thread here that I felt completely at home and had great love and a deep appreciation for all of my sangha siblings here. It was a rush of gratitude for you all and this site in general. To think of all the love and support I've received here, not to mention everything you've all taught me, is almost overwhelming.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. And especially to Brian for creating and keeping this site going through thick and thin. Thank you, Brian! I don't know where I'd be without NewBuddhist.
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But you did and you will do it again, whenever some site, or some person or group of people fall short and fail to meet your "Happy Happy Joy Joy" expectations of what Buddhism and Buddhists should be. Funny, some people calling themselves Buddhists would take these as challenges and learning experiences and wouldn't leap to judging other human beings as harsh, sarcastic, mentally inflexible or bullies.
But that is you, and you are just another human being suffering through life so I just can't say much about what you or any other does or thinks and I could say that "I'm sick to death of it". But you are you and we are not.
We have had many past problems on this board with members who have been both unnecessarily forceful and careless with their words. Some have blatantly sought to sow discord, disharmony and dissent. Others have 'flamed' or trolled and have contrived to 'spread the Dharma' but have been guilty of fabrication and invention. All have been dealt with in a calm, patient and compassionate way, but ultimately, they have been shown the door, as a matter of general concensus and opinion, not as a disciminating prejudicial result of an angry Moderator's decision.
Believe me, nobody falls short of Brigid's expectations. She has always tried to greet and treat any person she encounters with equal doses of Kindness, Compassion and Generosity. But if anyone here has fallen below her expectations, trust me - they did so with others, too.
Brigid is not a person to shy away from a challenge. If you knew her as well as some others do on this board, you would marvel at the challenges she has faced, the obstacles she has tackled, and the sheer mountains she has conquered.
Nobody can say that their personal lot in life is better or worse than anyone else's. We all have our own Karma to deal with. But to dismiss Brigid's view as judgement is a hasty, and equally judgemental view. She is one of the least critical, judgemental and biased people I know.
If she says she has encountered such hostility elsewhere, you can bet your bottom-dollar she has every justification for seeing it as such.
Anyway, you've missed my point entirely. The only reason I have a safe place to go online and talk to other Buddhists in respectful and compassionate ways is because of the moderating on this site. It's all down to Fede, Brian and the other wise, compassionate and strong moderators here and I was simply expressing my gratitude to them and all the other dhamma sisters and brothers who make this their home and treat it with the same respect they'd treat anyone's home. But it seems you just want a fight.
Well then, I care about you and want you to have happiness and the cessation of suffering. Fight that.
Fede,
Words cannot express....
Thank you.
Thanks, Brigid!
Please don't ever change anything in your demeanor. I know you're no stranger to being misunderstood. Deep people like you are used to that.
Fondly,
Nirvy
But then I read Zopa's post and instantly felt shempa......I started thinking of all the things I was going to say but Fede did that for me.........Well said Fede
I just find it interesting that the things you accused Brigid of, are they not what you just did to her?
"Judging other human beings as harsh, sarcastic, mentally inflexible or bullies."
It is obvious that you don't know who you are talking to. Brigid is the most kind, loving, supportive and compassionate person I have ever met........You are seriously picking on the wrong person. People who come here are part of a big family.....Family supports one another and stands up for each other......Brigid is loved and cherished here and I for one will not stand for you saying harsh things to her........As I know no one else will.
I'm currently fixed to do a Canine Communications course (Dog Whisperer, UK-style!) and one of the first things we're taught is that Dog will always respond to Loving Kindness and gentle coaxing, but they have a 'what's in it for me?' mentality. You're looking for co-operation, not submission....
It's the same with humans though.... everything nowadays seems to be fuelled or propelled by the selfish notion that 'unless there's something to be had in this, I'm not getting into it....'
So my gratitude to Brian, to Boo, to Deb and to everyone upon this forum who makes it what it is, is both selfless and undemanding. I am grateful to you all, from the bottom of my heart, for making this place what it is. Plain and simple.
I merely pointed out her hypocrisy and didn't claim to be better or purer then her. One becomes a hypocrite when you start off saying you don't want to do something and then proceed to do that which you stated you don't want to do. I never said I wasn't going to do anything, I pointed out her hypocrisy. You can ignore that and go on in happy, blissful ignorance; that is your call to make.
It is obvious that you don't know who you are talking to True, and neither do you or any of the rest of us. You just think you know who you are and have faith in your conceptualization of what everyone else is or isn't. You can seek truth or remain mired in your desire fulfilling illusionary life.
metta
_/\_
P.S.-I would like to add that I don't really see anything Brigid said as hypocrisy. That seems like a stretch to me of what might have been a valid point or two on Zopa's part.
There is no doubt that there are 'Buddhist' discussion boards where the moderation permits more extreme language, ad personam attacks and charges of 'heresy' akin to soi-disants 'Christian' or political boards. Even here, at New Buddhist, we have seen a fair amount of criticism of E-sangha's moderation. It should be stressed that such criticism does not imply any similar objections to the moderators here.
The appreciation that so many express for this site is important because it results in a mindset of gratefulness.
Of all the mental constructs, the one that I have found most skillful must be gratitude. When I am grateful, I am calm and balanced. I can make choices with equanimity and a smile.
When I was a small child, I would go and stay with my gentle, formidable, Methodist grandmother and, every night, we would say our prayers together, just as we would sing, at meals, “Thank you for the food we eat…” Our night prayers consisted of remembering people by name and then ‘counting our blessings’. At meals and at night, her focus was on gratitude and I think it rubbed off on me - despite my father’s vehement opposition to her “God bothering”.
The Greek word for gratitude is eucharistia which gave the Christian churches their name for the service which commemorates the Lord's Supper. It is the word that Saint John uses to describe Jesus saying the brocha or 'grace'. At the very heart of Christian ritual is a service of gratitude.
As Buddhists, we have an unfortuate tendency to ignore gratitude as askilful attitude. Or even if we are not ignoring it, we are often accused by non-Buddhists as focusing on the unsatisfactory nature of samasara. Perhaps it is because the First Noble Truth, which is, after all, where we all start, is about unsatisfactoriness. A grateful mindset needs us to recognise what Roget's Thesaurus calls a "lively sense of favours to come". But there is much to be grateful for in the whole statement of the Truths. We misrepresent the hopeful message of the Dharma if we ignore the triumphant proclamation of the Third Truth, the truth of liberation. What, indeed, would be the point of taking refuge in a dharma that offered only trouble, sickness, old age and death?
The power and value of New Buddhist comes not from the cleverness or, even, the scholarship of the members but from the fact that we are (generally) prepared to say to each other, "Perhaps you have a good point there." It is the only way in which we learn and I have learned and learned and go on learning from my interaction with people here.
Beyond that, there are some very special people (yes, YOU, you know who you are) whom I can really call friends and it is, at the end of my life, for friendship above all that I give thanks.
So I start rationalizing, trying to lessen my anger, get to the root of it and it finally dawns on me; why don't you take the advice from Ajahn Sumedho that you recently offered another poster on this board and just sit here and endure the anger instead of trying to annihilate it or run away from it? Sounds pretty straight forward, right? So I sat here and let myself seethe and stew and squirm in my own little hell realm feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my skin but I stayed with it. It was awful. I started to get heartburn and everything!
I kept telling myself nothing bad was actually happening to me. It was just anger. "My very old friend, my dear old friend that I know so well. All bluff and bluster. My silly, dear old friend Anger. Nice to see you again, Anger. How's tricks?" And then, after a little while, it just went away. And I started laughing my head off. It worked! It actually worked! I couldn't believe it! I'm going to force myself to do this with all the unpleasant feelings I experience from now on. I doubt it will work as easily as it did tonight, beginner's luck and all that. But at least I know I can endure it and nothing bad happened. That's got to be worth something, right?
So anyway, I guess I can thank you now, Zopa, without choking on it or anything. You provided me with the opportunity so I'm grateful for it. That sounds "holier than thou", I know. But so what? It's still true. So thanks, Zopa, for being such an ass. (Kidding!)
metta
_/\_
One thing I especially like about this board is that one can usually write about matters that have touched in some way upon his or her heart, without being taken to task for holding such a "politically incorrect" idea for more than a few seconds. I remember how bad I was made to feel some months back over some thoughts I happened to share concerning Barack Obama. Golly, I don't know how the politicians themselves escape being lynched or crucified.
Well, anyway, I am very happy that most of the time we neither take ourselves or each other too seriously. Nonetheless, it can be unpleasant being taken to task for some idea or emotion that's really not that important anyway.
However, I am so very happy that we are not an in-your-face group of people.
Thanks, kind Pilgrim, for your always constructive and elucidating posts. And thanks, dear Brigid, for hanging out with all us grumps. You do it for us, I know.
Thanks, everybody, for putting up with me and helping me learn my way around a bit more.
Special thanks to Simon the Pilgrim, Federica, Brian, Brigid, Palzang, Xrayman, Elohim, Knight of Buddha, Buddhafoot, and everyone else who chirps in from time to time. Believe me, you all wax eloquent more than you know.
I hope the next couple years are as good as these have been.
Gratefully,
Nirvy