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2007 Was the Worst Year Of My Life
comicallyinsane
Veteran
I know I have been absent for some time.
This last year was horrible for me. In February a kid hit my car with his bycycle and his father was a cop. I had to fight in court to be found not guilty.
I have tried to move back to CA to be with my wife and children with no su8ccess.
In November my wife decided that our marriage wasn't working for her. We split up and two weeks later she started dating a new guy.
During X-Mas I went and stayed at her parents house with her and kids. My kids are doing well. I sank fast into a deep depression watching her go to this guy's house. I had to leave a day early.
I did everything for her and the kids and for all my hard work she dumped me. My faith in relationships is pretty much gone.
SO this year I have decided to run the half Las Vegas Marathon. 13.1 miles. I have been jogging a lot and I have lost 42 pounds. My pain levels have dropped and I feel stronger than ever. I am also working on my novel. I wrote a lot this last year. I am hoping that at least I can follow my dreams and be a good dad to my kids.
I will be coming here more often to help myself seek answers.
Jason
Comic
This last year was horrible for me. In February a kid hit my car with his bycycle and his father was a cop. I had to fight in court to be found not guilty.
I have tried to move back to CA to be with my wife and children with no su8ccess.
In November my wife decided that our marriage wasn't working for her. We split up and two weeks later she started dating a new guy.
During X-Mas I went and stayed at her parents house with her and kids. My kids are doing well. I sank fast into a deep depression watching her go to this guy's house. I had to leave a day early.
I did everything for her and the kids and for all my hard work she dumped me. My faith in relationships is pretty much gone.
SO this year I have decided to run the half Las Vegas Marathon. 13.1 miles. I have been jogging a lot and I have lost 42 pounds. My pain levels have dropped and I feel stronger than ever. I am also working on my novel. I wrote a lot this last year. I am hoping that at least I can follow my dreams and be a good dad to my kids.
I will be coming here more often to help myself seek answers.
Jason
Comic
0
Comments
I'm really sorry it was such a crappy year for you CI...
It's really great to have you back, ánd I think going to her place over Christmas was the best - and bravest - thing you could ever do.
Pick up your lust for life and run with it.
Good luck in the marathon - but it doesn't sound as if you need it, you're doing great.
And I too am trying to get a book published, so it's a big well done on that one!
Welcome back.
We have really, really missed you.
The only bit of advice I can give you (you haven't asked for it, so I'm mouthing off really, but I'm just trying to help, CI.....) is to try to not bad-mouth her off infront of the kids, and be nice about her to them. She's their mom, and I guess at this vulnerable time, they have to see you guys are going your own ways, but being civil about it.
Also, something I had to learn to do, when my separation and divorce was all going on...
When it comes to discussions about dividing stuff, money, things, and all that... try to separate the 'practical' away from the 'emotional'.
Anything to do with finances, property, goods and chattels, is all business... so try to be un-emotive.
Crap, that's a real toughie... but it's the only way.
Just adding things to help you along... take or leave whatever you want.
And feel free to tell me to butt the hell out, too....
The difference between you and I is that you obviously have done something about it while I continue to wallow in self-pity and self-defeat. I'm proud of you, and inspired
-B
Do you wnt to share how you feel about her, and the situation, right now?
Or aren't you sure?
Are you still all a bit numb about it, or have you reached a resigned state within yourself?
Or are you just taking each day as it comes?
Best way, probably.....
There is nothing to say, is there? My first wife and I split up 25 years ago. I have only seen her a couple of times in the last 10 years (she lives in Scotland now), at her mother's funeral and at our grandchild's christening. It would seem, however, that she has stored up her anger and is only now poisoning my sons' minds against me. It is most strange.
For myself, I have never stopped loving my children, both alive and dead, and have done anything I could to make sure they knew that they have my unconditional support. It's the best I can do, along with gentle courtesy towards their mother. My pain is my pain and I have learned to deal with it - but it took time.
As ever, you are in my thoughts and prayers: that didn't change even during your long silence.
Palzang
I think many of the people here, myself included, can say that
I missed you all.
Some of us aren't trying that hard...*wink*
Things are much improved now, Comic... we're all enlightened, so now, nobody's going on about it any more.....
We're just harking back to the "good ol' days" when everything was crappy, and we were all suffering...
See what ya missed??
:ukflag:
(Ever read the Tao of Pooh, Fed? Great book!)
Palzang
Palzang
Palzang
It is great to see you on here, sharing your story and your hope for a better year! I am sorry things were so tough for you last year. I know how hard you have worked for your family, and I am sorry your wife decided to leave.
Good for you for training for a marathon! I am glad your pain is so much better and keep up the hard work.
We are here for you...I am not here as often, but I do try to pop in once in a while, so let me know if you need anything!
Kim
I'm so sorry it was such an awful year for you and I'm glad you're finding your way through it. Sending deep wishes for peace, joy and health!
I try to see what there has been in my own expectations, ideas, feelings, actions and behaviors that has led to things not going the way that I would have liked to them to go.
I have found, having lived for extended periods of time among the Americans (I am from the U.S.), the Thais and the Cambodians that other people have up and down moods and days and when they are under the power and influence of these moods and energies, they may and will act to us in ways that we do not find much pleasure, satisfaction or happiness in or from.
I remember from my times in America the amount of confusion and desire I saw in the apartments and homes of the people that I met there.
None of the things that they were involved in seem to bring them any kind of lasting peace.
I guess we are all confused about how to live or have been at one time or another.
Buddism is a nice path and discipline to learn because it does suggest that we think, say, do and behave in a certain manner and through that, our mind will develop where there is contentment, acceptance, joy in both little ad big things and an undertsanding that there are some forces that we may not be able to control or influence as we wish to.
I'm sorry to hear about your year. I've been wondering how things have been going with such a great distance between you and yours.
I feel your pain.
It's good that you are getting out, getting exercise, setting a goal and interacting with other people. Keep that up - I think interaction with others will help wit some of the pain.
Chin up.
-bf
It is good to see you again, even though it is not under the happiness of circumstances. I am sorry to hear about your marriage not working, not to mention everything else. I hope that you are able to find some of the answers and happiness that you are looking for, whatever and wherever they may be.
Jason
firstly, let me say how happy i am to hear from you. i've often wondered over the past year how my cousin from sui lam has been _/a_
i'm sorry that everything has not been as you would have liked but i am proud to read of your bravery when facing pain from the past.
a very close friend of mine also suffered a painful divorce and he too has found great renewal of energy in running daily. what about the drunken fist? as a fellow practitioner i would highly recommend making some time in your schedule in order to re-tred that path...
my deepest utterances of peace and well-being to you, my friend, in all your difficult trials.
take care of yourself and remember that the arms of our sangha are here to comfort you at any time.
dave