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I Come to a Realization about Women

comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
edited June 2010 in Sanghas
Well I have been looking for a girl on line. Before I was married I was really good at it. But now not so much. Anyway I have noticed my relationships with women in person and the relationships I have with girls on line. In person girls know me and usually like me. It seems on line that girls tend to be so afraid nothing ever happens. I have had girls get nervous because I want to talk on the phone. Have we gone so far away from personal contact? It reminds me of that Isaac Asimov book "The Naked Sun". What do you all think?

Comments

  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited January 2008
    comicallyinsane wrote: »
    Well I have been looking for a girl on line. Before I was married I was really good at it. But now not so much. Anyway I have noticed my relationships with women in person and the relationships I have with girls on line. In person girls know me and usually like me. It seems on line that girls tend to be so afraid nothing ever happens. I have had girls get nervous because I want to talk on the phone. Have we gone so far away from personal contact? It reminds me of that Isaac Asimov book "The Naked Sun". What do you all think?
    I think that you may want to look at whether there is a gap between how you want to be perceived on the Net and how your message is received. Perhaps you are giving out 'signals' which scare people off.
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited January 2008
    I have a friend that has tried online dating for a long time. He has said that there seems to be a lot of the same people from the same area that just keep haunting the same old on-line dating services. He has said that it seems like on-line dating has become the new "go to a bar to find a mate" scenario.

    I can't say what I think would be the best way to find a mate. But, I would say that you should do things that you like to do - and then maybe find someone that likes to do the things you - and then maybe it will grow into something more.

    But, it's probably not a good thing to listen to my advice.

    -bf
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited January 2008
    Well I am very honest on the net, just like in real life. I think it might have something to do with all the actual "creepy" guys that make it harder for the rest of us. I am getting sick of jumping through hoops. I might just go th eold fashioned way and buy me a wife form Asia. Just kidding.:crazy:
  • starstuffstarstuff
    edited January 2008
    comicallyinsane wrote: »
    It reminds me of that Isaac Asimov book "The Naked Sun". ?

    Love that book, and the others in the series. I don't think we have gotten quite that seperated as they were on Solaria. When I've just been at home with my computer all day, it feels a bit like it though.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited January 2008
    Are we "viewing" or "seeing"? LOL
  • starstuffstarstuff
    edited January 2008
    Online? Defininely "viewing". I just wish we had the Solarian's technology. Well, on second thought I may never apartment if we did. :wtf:

    :)
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited January 2008
    LOL I was talking to my friends the other day about Holodecks on Star Trek. We figured they would be used for nothing but adventures followed by lots of sex. :om:
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited February 2010
    I've figured out recently that girls in small towns like bigger guys. I'm really glad I moved back to Porterville. LOL I was Brad Pitt and I didn't know it.
  • nickjohnston1nickjohnston1
    edited February 2010
    you can make whatever you want a reality. all you have to do is think of a circumstance where you can make a girl like you, and then go through the actions of making that reality a fact.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Good advice except I never have any idea what to do and what not to do.
  • nickjohnston1nickjohnston1
    edited February 2010
    people will believe what they want to believe. all you have to do is make what you believe be what they want to believe. make them want you. i wish there was some all encompassing advice to get women, or men. its very specific to the person whos wanting, and the person whos wanted. and what exactly they want from the wanted.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited February 2010
    OK. I'm willing to listen. Give me some examples if you've got any. Please.
  • nickjohnston1nickjohnston1
    edited February 2010
    to get the girl, you have to really understand her. what she wants, what she doesnt, etcetera.
    a party girl likes a party guy. an abused girl wants a gentle guy. a snobbish girl wants a snobbish guy.
    once you know her, and what she wants, you can change yourself to fit that persona.
    or you could find out who YOU are, what YOU want, and find a girl who matches that description. sometimes its a long wait, but the end result is much more satisfactory, i assure you.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited February 2010
    I know who I am. I just want to see if this stuff works.
  • nickjohnston1nickjohnston1
    edited February 2010
    in that case, then all that needs to be is desire. find the girl you desire, and become what she desires. thats all you need to know.
    if she wants you to be rugged, be rugged. if she wants you to be charming, be charming. if you dont know HOW to be what she wants, find someone who does, and learn from them.
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited February 2010
    Groovy thanks.
  • nickjohnston1nickjohnston1
    edited February 2010
    youre groovy welcome lol
  • PemaRangdolPemaRangdol
    edited May 2010
    Hello, Comicallyinsane!
    While it's sagelike advice to know oneself first, hormones and desires are powerful! Look out! Nonetheless, ever try Buddhist personals? There's quite a few with Buddhist sections.
    Just a thought... BTW where is Porterville? So Cal?
    /\ PR
  • comicallyinsanecomicallyinsane Veteran
    edited May 2010
    Central CA
  • GuyCGuyC Veteran
    edited May 2010
    When you get sick of relationship Dukkha and wanting-a-relationship Dukkha you can always ordain.
  • [DeletedUser][DeletedUser]
    edited May 2010
    Have we gone so far away from personal contact?
    Probably female read, listen and watch too much bad news!!
  • lightwithinlightwithin Veteran
    edited May 2010
    I don't make the leap from chatting with someone through IM's or emails, to talking on the phone without giving it some very serious thought.

    Does this woman really KNOW me enough to be comfortable enough to give me her phone number? Will she find it nice when I call her in the middle of any given day? or will she dismiss my call as "ugh, it's THAT guy from the internet!"? Is she willing to share more about herself and her life than she already has online?

    All good questions to ponder.
  • kayakaya
    edited June 2010
    Interesting that this thread is in the sangha section....
    Anyhow, regarding the OP:
    Things change, conditions alter.
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