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Apologies
_BeautifulSpringtime
Veteran
dearest sangha,
please allow me to extend my deepest apologies to all for my absence. i've been following a quite solitary path until recently and, though productive as it may have been, have not expressed much to my brothers and sisters here at my inter(net)national sangha.
i'm so happy to read the comments of all my old friends here and have also been interested to note many new members. this sangha has always been a great blessing for me and i'm happy to be back and participating once again.
my love to you all.
in deep gassho,
dave (?? renshi)
please allow me to extend my deepest apologies to all for my absence. i've been following a quite solitary path until recently and, though productive as it may have been, have not expressed much to my brothers and sisters here at my inter(net)national sangha.
i'm so happy to read the comments of all my old friends here and have also been interested to note many new members. this sangha has always been a great blessing for me and i'm happy to be back and participating once again.
my love to you all.
in deep gassho,
dave (?? renshi)
0
Comments
YAAAAAAY!!! BSF is back, everyone!!
Woohooo!!
'Bout ruddy time you naughty boy!!
So tell us, what have you been up to then...?
Hang on....
I'll pop the kettle on and get the extra-big teapot....
I have a feeling we're going to have a few people round the fire listening to your tales, Dave....
It's lovely to see you back!
*hugs*
I just said "hi" to you on another thread but I'll say it again.
"HI!"
So good to see you again!
No apologies necessary. It's just lovely to have you back. I hope life is treating you well in Japan!
Good to see you, dear friend.
Good to hear from you.
-bf
Palzang
Wheel turns and here we all are again.
I tried calling her.
They wanted a $5.95 connection fee and then $2.95 for each additional minute.
And she must have been tired - cuz she was breathin' hard.
Weird.
-bf
Me! Me! Me! I'll do it. Have riding crop, will travel :poke:
thank you all for this warm welcome back!
once i've a spare hour or so i'll let you know what i've been up to!
until then we can enjoy bf's strict tutalidge from nits and yogs!
It should be noted that whilst I lived in Japan I was almost entirely cut off from my previous life. I had no home internet connection, I had no English speaking friends at all and my life was comprised of mainly working, teaching English to mainly children, and practice. I was able, due to the isolation I experienced, to deeply involve myself with the investigation of the Dharma through study and Zazen. Many moments of awakening were given to me, in the most unexpected places! Whilst walking to the train station, in beholding the local mountain, and even in the footsteps of drunken businessmen on their way home at ungodly hours. Of these moments, I am afraid, I have no words - other than to say I truly felt the joy in being alive.
My time was spent in an area fairly under-influenced by Western culture and as a result I was able to immerse myself well in the culture. Japan is a paradox to a western Buddhist because the influence of the religious side of Buddhism can be seen in so many things: incense is offered to statutes on mountain passes, the birth of the Buddha is celebrated by all and even the Amida Buddha is revered by regular people, as is our Christ. And yet most laypeople’s understanding of the actual practical teachings of the Blessed One is almost nil. ‘He’s a god, isn’t he?’ was a typical response.
I was, however, more interested in application of Dharma practice and I could also see the evidence of Dharma habits often in the everyday lives of the people: in the customary bow, continuous respect for others and the care with which lost strangers are guided, on foot, to their destination. Of these things I was mindful always and have a great respect. So much so that when I returned to Western lands, I was slightly mocked for my use of the bow and how I gave way to every passer-by.
Yet please don’t assume that I am working for the Board of Japanese tourism! By far, Japan is not a perfect place for, as we know, there is no such thing. I was, however, able to deepen my practice there.
One of my favourite moving meditations was to visit temples. Temples are almost absolutely everywhere in Japan and they are mainly treated as public areas. So, after I was able to shed my fear of myself, I would regularly enter temple grounds and knock on doors to have conversations with the abbots and receive a seal and signature from the temple in my traditional Japanese book. On many occasions I was treated to tea and the conversations were very much light in nature and inherently expressed the joy of life and experience.
On one occasion, I happened to meet with the abbot of a Rinzai Temple in Kyoto. His name was Soen Ozeki and he was a very charming and intelligent man. He commented on my shaved head and ‘jokingly’ said I looked like a monk! To which I stated that I was lay person in training to become a monastic, as was true at the time. He seemed surprised and we exchanged ‘gassho’. He then told me that, actually, we are all here to learn in this life and that teaching is only relative between students. He said that life is a classroom, only that there is no teacher up front, and the only things we can learn from are our mistakes and each other. So blaming others is to be avoided because we are all just students, all of us capable of mistakes. All of us are capable of learning. He then wished me the best on my path. We then exchanged a deep bow and, in truth, a discernable energy passed between us.
In my home town of Shizuoka, when I had first arrived in Japan, I organized to meet with a priest from a local temple of the sect of Zen that I was studying. As luck would have it, he was fluent in English – having lived in Arizona and other places in the US for over 13 years. In fact his temple, Hodo-ji, had just been relocated after hundreds of years and was, basically brand new. He invited me into the temple and we discussed the Dharma for hours and hours and sat in Zazen together. After which I as able to join his family for dinner and felt immediately accepted by all. After that time I came to visit the temple regularly, to sit Zazen and chant the Heart sutra and enjoy life with his family. Every time I left to go home, Koryu (as was his name) would come outside and play around in the parking lot and wave a lot to me as I walked away. It’s a small detail but it really expressed to me his joy in life.
After some time we began to discuss monastic life. Koryu told me that to study on my own was superb but to be able to step out of everyday life and focus 100% on practice was an invaluable gift not to be turned away from lightly. I must admit, I was hesitant and yet also very eager. After some consideration, I decided that I wanted to live the life of a monk for at least a year. My parents were, to put it lightly, a little taken aback. For me though it was really just the logical extension of the life I’d been living only I’d have a bit more company in trying to become a better practitioner.
Something happened though that changed my life forever. A friend of mine introduced me to the most precious person I have ever met. She was radiant, beautiful and intelligent and from the moment we met – she has held my heart. Within a month I knew that she was the person for whom I had been made.
This caused an internal conflict for me though and I discussed it with Koryu. He said to me that the teachings of the Buddha resonate with the heart and that the heart has more to say than we will ever know. I was afraid that I’d miss my one real chance to practice. To which he laughed! I was a bit confused but he helped me see that practice, both inside and outside of the monastery, is one and the same. It is only that the focus of practice is changed. Morning Zazen is followed by chanting and then breakfast, which is then followed by duties and lunch, afternoon Zazen and discussions followed by evening Zazen and rest. These are the focus of monastic life. In these do we base our practice. To love and lead a family life is different in substance but no different in our devotion to practice as disciples of Shakyamuni. We need only turn that focus onto the secular life.
We study the Dharma to live, not reject, life, I suppose.
After which I discussed the idea of a homemaker monk with Koryu, of which he had not heard before. Perhaps this is a western concept? However he said that I could take a name and the Bodhisattva vows and precepts if I thought it would be beneficial to my practice. He gave me the task of creating my ‘first name’ and told me that he would come up with my ‘family name’. The name was to be comprised of 4 Chinese characters, two by me and two by Koryu.
I thought long and hard and meditated on what I thought would best represent my practice. I came up with 2 characters. The first is ‘Ren’ which means to repeat (as in practice). And the second is ‘Shi’ which means to look inside [literally it means mind-see]. I must admit that my friend and teacher, Koryu, was pleased with my efforts. He gave me the family name of ‘Ryu’ which means dragon, and was from his first name, and ‘Gaku’ which means mountain peak (because I had discussed with him my moments of awakening, as a teenager, in the Himalayas). He also explained to me that every temple in Japan was linked to a mountain as they are seen as sources of strength and wisdom. So my name came to be ‘RyuGaku RenShi’ – or Dragon Peak Meditation.
In my ordination ceremony, we first sat in Zazen and then Koryu performed the series of rituals, all of which were quite beautiful, as I recited the traditional Japanese vows and Precepts. On that day I felt humbled and very bright. I will never forget it as a great source of inspiration to me. I can close my eyes anytime and smell the newly carved timber of the rafters in Hodo-ji, smell the incense and hear the drum beat out the rhythm of the sutras.
In my secular life things were moving at a rapid pace. I had married my angel and adopted her wonderful daughter into my family. To this day they love me and test me to such levels of joy I cannot describe. After 6 months another being had decided to join us. We had to wait another 9 months for him however and on February 26th 2009, we were joined by my son.
Before that time, though, I had decided that relocation was required. Supporting 4 people for a foreigner in Japan was going to be too difficult – with the lack of possibilities for employment. After much discussion we decided to move to Canada, primarily for the sake of our children, who could not find a more accepting and tolerant nation on the face of this planet (in my opinion).
It has been difficult though. Red tape has held us back for the past year and though we’ve been surviving, there have been times of extreme trial for all of us, not least my dear wife. I too have felt much strain and, embarrassed though I am to admit, have put my practice at the bottom of my priority list. This has caused me no end of problems both in the spiritual and physical realms. It was as though ‘RyuGaku RenShi’ the seeker, had become lost within my small mind. Though funnily, he reemerged about 2 months ago. The immigration process had completed and, as I held my son in my arms, I blew at the wind chime I had brought back from Nara, in Japan. Its sound – so clear and full of life – brought me back from the storm.
It is with this renewed energy that I write to you today my dear friends.
Let lightning strike in wind chimes and diapers!!
I'm extremely happy that you and your beautiful family are now official citizens of Canada. Congratulations!! I'm so happy you stuck it out even though the process is agonizing (so I've heard, more than once....).
Many, many blessing to you and your family, BSF, and as always I'm sending my deepest wishes for peace, joy, and fruitful practice.