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Good Quote

KnitwitchKnitwitch
edited February 2008 in General Banter
I've just got back from a session with my shrink and I have a memorable quote from him

"Just because someone has hurt you, there is no need to hurt yourself"

which is a pretty good bit of advice on letting go of pain and past misery. Just thought I would share that. :wavey:

Comments

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2008
    Eminently quotable.
    And blow me, don't we just do it all the time - ?
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Now, can you just tell me how to just let go of all that pain?

    I'd like to know that secret for future reference.

    -bf
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited February 2008
    Yes, BF, that is where it kind of falls down on its bum really, doesn't it?

    My shrink says that constantly reminding oneself that it wasn't your fault, it was done TO you and remembering that one deserves respect helps

    Tell you what - if I ever do discover how, I'll let you know but it won't be til I have mended a broken heart, got off the meds my GP got me addicted to and sorted out my mental health problems a bit more

    But just as soon as I have ....... you and me will get this cracked eh?:banghead:
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Thanks. Sounds like a plan.

    Also find out how to get sleep when it won't come and how to eat when you're never hungry and nothing wants to stay down and how to rein your mind in when it just keeps going over and over and over and over and over things again and again and again and again and again...

    I'd pay a whole $1.00 for that little secret.

    Take care of yourself.

    -bf
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited February 2008
    Oh sweetheart - I know that sitch just toooooooooooo well. Where do you think I've been for over a year?

    Let's take care of each other instead huh?
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Deal!

    -bf
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2008
    If I could organise a group hug right now, you know I would.
    So *hugs* both....
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited February 2008
    OK - altogether now

    (((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited February 2008
    Two more for you

    No experience, however bad, is wasted, if you learn from it" - Knitwitch's mum


    "Some Christians seem to feel that when the rest of the world is against them, they are being persecuted - no, sometimes when the rest of the world is against you, you are WRONG" - unknown Anglican priest on BBC Radio 4 yesterday

    Sometimes we HAVE TO go through very bad experiences indeed to get us out of deeply ingrained wrong thinking. We can read and be told all kinds of wisdom, even nod sagely and agree, but to really learn the lesson, we have to live it. Sometimes we have to go through the fire to burn away the dross.

    I don't believe in the christian hell but I've been through a close approximation in the last 18 months - but I've learned a lot.

    If when I was here before I hurt anyone, I am deeply sorry. I have read the second quotation and taken it to heart.

  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Once I told a paranoid patient that just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they really aren't out to get you. He looked a little stunned, then said, "You're right!"

    Sorry...

    Palzang
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited February 2008
    LOL - yes, as my psychiatrist said to me "You aren't crazy, you're just mad" which was a huge relief!
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited February 2008
    I know the "thinking-about-things-over-and-over-and-over-and-over-and-over" thing very well. God, I remember how painful that was! I very nearly drove myself mad over it. That was before Buddhism, when I was very sick in my heart. My heart had been broken by this guy, the worst heartbreak I've ever experienced and it affected me for years. I saw psychiatrists and psychologists and acupuncturists...you name it. The only thing that helped after all that time was the Buddha. Seriously. Nothing else shook me out of it until I read the First Noble Truth and went "Ah!! So life's not supposed to be perfect! I'm not defective just because I don't have true happiness! Phew! What a relief!"

    When I went deeper, the healing went deeper. I found that for me, it had been a combination of two things: ego pain and true grief over the loss of a dream. When I worked on the ego pain and started to get rid of the "Why did this have to happen to me??" kind of thinking the pain started to fade. I also had to get rid of the "How could he do this to me??" kind of thinking and start thinking "Well, why not you? This kind of heart break happens to almost everybody. What's so bloody special about you?".

    Then, when I was able to chalk the whole thing up to the results of past kamma, a blessed peace descended and I healed in leaps and bounds from then on. That's not to say that there aren't times when I look back and all those feelings come flooding back. Because that happens once in a while. But then I come back to my senses and the sky clears much more quickly and I can be at peace with it again.

    It's taken me 8 years to get here from there and most of the healing has been in the last 3 years. But healing's possible. If you fiercely want the suffering to end and you fiercely go about shaking yourself out of it, and keep trying and trying, you'll get there eventually. I'm not a big believer in time healing all wounds anymore. I know that for me, I had to actually take the matter in hand and force myself to find the way out. I really did. I knew in my heart that I was so sick from the pain it was going to be with me for the rest of my life in some way or another. So I had to do something drastically wise and I had to want happiness above all else.

    One day I sat up in bed and said "Okay. That's it. No more. I can't live like this anymore. I can't kill myself and I can't suffer like this one more f***ing day. I don't care what I have to do or how long it's going to take, I'm going to find happiness again no matter what and that's all there is to it."

    I thought to myself "Who are the most truly happy and peaceful people on this planet? .....BUDDHISTS!!" And the rest is history. Or herstory, really. :)

    There IS a way through the pain and we CAN find it. We really, really can. I'm part idiot, and if I could find it, anyone can. :)
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Hear, hear!
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