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Brian's divorce

BrianBrian Detroit, MI Moderator
edited February 2008 in General Banter
The divorce is final. She's moved out. She's already living with her boyfriend. No time for me to get used to the whole thing (or for the kids to, for that matter).

So there it is. The two and a half year journey that I've been on is basically complete.

Thanks for being here throughout the whole thing with me :)

Comments

  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited February 2008
    Brian,

    Jesus, it's about time. Part of me is sad to hear that the divorce is final, especially since I know that you always wanted things to work out. Nevertheless, part of me is happy because I know how hard these last two years have been for you, and now that she has moved, the healing process can finally begin. I hope that the boys don't have too much trouble getting used to the whole thing, and that this year will be a better one for all of you.

    Jason
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Brian,

    I'm glad there is finally some sort of completion for you and as Jason said, the healing can now begin in earnest. At the same time I feel such an ache in my heart because of her moving in with her boyfriend and although I know it's not mine to feel, it's exactly situations like this that I've always had the hardest times with. I don't know if it's jealousy and feelings of possession ("but he's MINE!") or what, but seeing my exes with new partners always tore me to shreds. It's a big part of the reason why I've taken myself out of the dating pool. It's also the main reason I came to Buddhism. Aside from the panic attacks, nothing I've ever experienced has hurt as much as the ending of romantic relationships. I know it's all about ego and I've had moments of great clarity where I saw things in a healthy way and without suffering and because of Buddhism my suffering from day to day is much, much less. But I still find my heart (ego?) aching when I hear about situations like this, kinda like falling back into old ways of seeing things.

    What I do know for sure is that out of every single kind of help there is out there for these kinds of things, Buddhism is the one sure way to lessen your suffering and to point you to the healthy way to deal with them. And I wouldn't say that if I wasn't 100% sure of it because matters of the heart are not to be trifled with.

    So when you find yourself aching and in pain, come here or read a book about Buddhism. Take comfort in the knowledge that the Buddha had the cure for things like this and if you keep trudging along you'll find it and the sun will come back out again. There WILL come a day when all the pain and suffering you have inside will disperse. You won't have to carry around this pain forever.

    Bless your sweet heart. I wish I could hold you in my arms and comfort you, tell you everything will be all right. Because it will. You just have to want it to be and the Buddha will show you the way.

    All my love and big, gentle hugs to you,
    Boo
  • SimonthepilgrimSimonthepilgrim Veteran
    edited February 2008
    All my warm love to you and your boys, Brian. There is balm in Gilead and healing in friendship.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2008
    Brian.....

    You know.

    *Hugs*.


    (Just a question, for my own curiosity, you don't need to go into it now, or at all, if you don't want, and you may have already said something, which I somehow missed....

    'Who' are the boys with, now, insofar as living arrangements go? How are things for them?)
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited February 2008
    Brian - I have been there - I am with you. Closure is a good thing. I never got it.

    With closure comes a new start - we are all here for you on that start. Don't hesitate - as Fede says - you know.

    (((((((hugs))))))))))))
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Brian,

    Thanks for the email :) I'm a spaz.

    I'm not going to bs ya - this sucks. I just hope that from going through the last two years that you have been able to acclimate to the situation and I sincerely hope that it's not too difficult on you.

    -bf
  • MagwangMagwang Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Been there - got the t-shirt.

    Now you can get on with your life.
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited February 2008
    This is the year of the earth-rat, Brian. As unpleasant as that sounds to us Westerners, it is actually a very auspicious year, one of new directions and prosperity. I pray that you and your children find both now that the divorce is behind you.

    Palzang
  • _BeautifulSpringtime_BeautifulSpringtime Veteran
    edited February 2008
    dear brian,
    do you recall the photo you posted years ago of the small plant that had pushed up through the concrete of a new carpark? that image has always been in my heart ever since i saw it. it spoke to me of so many things but mainly i saw one important messege in it - perseverance in the face of adversities - be they self driving or seemingly external.
    feel the sunshine upon your leaves my friend; the days of pushing through concrete have only made you stronger.
    in a deep bow of respect,
    dave
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2008
    Aaaah, BSF..... You mean this one...... For all of our good friends frequenting this site, who were not there at the original posting... here it is for you again, to gaze upon in wonderment...
    I think, Brian, it would make a good image on the 'Home' newbuddhist page, myself.....
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2008
    BSF,

    I remember that.

    What a great image and what a great memory. Thanks for reminding us of that.

    -bf
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2008
    Hya puss.... ;)
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Hi Freddie.

    You just made me remember I forgot my boots.

    -bf
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited February 2008
    What, the thigh-length black patent....
    Uh-oh.....
    Nearly fell for that one again....!!
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2008
    <ahem...>



    -bf
  • KnitwitchKnitwitch
    edited February 2008
    Ahhhhhhhhh my favourite Shrek character - do you have the voice too? Swoooooon
  • buddhafootbuddhafoot Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Uhhhhhhhh ... no. :(

    -bf
  • bushinokibushinoki Veteran
    edited February 2008
    Fede, I see that image, and all I can think is that life is resilient. Where ever possible, the indomitable will to live will prevail.
  • P-tunyP-tuny
    edited February 2008
    I am laughing here.
    I am a new member , and happened across the picture you are all speaking of.
    My one thought was "What a will to live!"
    I posted that thought there just a few moments ago.
    I do hope your life will get on track some day soon Brian.
    Time really does heal all, and as you embark on a new journey, you will
    see things in a different light.
    Some positive, some negative, but hopefully like that plant your will is strong and you will make it!
    Be in Peace.
    ~~P'tuny
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