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Potty Proverbs
Just a few I put together - feel free to add your own.
Potty Proverbs
The other man’s car is always greener (unless it’s a 4 x 4)
Strike before you leap –you might get a pay rise on the way down
Strike while the sun shines – make the most of it and go to the beach
He who hesitates, shouldn’t throw stones (at bigger guys)
Too many cooks and they’ll appear (probably on strike)
Love flies out the window when your Granny sucks eggs.(yerk, that sound!)
Make hay while the iron’s hot (but remember Health and Safety regulations)
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t ….. ever!
A bird in the hand is worth two rubber gloves (you don’t get this, you never worked in a zoo or a veterinary surgery, I did)
A man who never made a mistake is always married to a very patient woman
Behind every good man is a very, very good PR company
Red sky in the morning, wasn’t painting the ceiling a good idea?
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs – you must have a really good insurance deal, you caused the chaos, or you have misread the situation completely.
Potty Proverbs
The other man’s car is always greener (unless it’s a 4 x 4)
Strike before you leap –you might get a pay rise on the way down
Strike while the sun shines – make the most of it and go to the beach
He who hesitates, shouldn’t throw stones (at bigger guys)
Too many cooks and they’ll appear (probably on strike)
Love flies out the window when your Granny sucks eggs.(yerk, that sound!)
Make hay while the iron’s hot (but remember Health and Safety regulations)
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t ….. ever!
A bird in the hand is worth two rubber gloves (you don’t get this, you never worked in a zoo or a veterinary surgery, I did)
A man who never made a mistake is always married to a very patient woman
Behind every good man is a very, very good PR company
Red sky in the morning, wasn’t painting the ceiling a good idea?
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs – you must have a really good insurance deal, you caused the chaos, or you have misread the situation completely.
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Your daily moment of Zen
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just bugger off !!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
No one is listening until you fart.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
If you lend someone £20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes of bad judgment
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
And this one: And this one: Oh god...the tears are streaming down my face...