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George Carlin quotes on religion
Magwang
Veteran
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ...But He loves you!
What is all this shit about angels? Have you heard this? Three out of four people now, believe in angels. What're you, fuckin' stupid? Has everybody lost their fuckin' minds in this country? Angels, shit. You know what I think it is? I think it's a massive collective psychotic chemical flashback of all the drugs - all the drugs - smoked, swallowed, snorted, shot, and absorbed rectally by all Americans from 1960 to 1990. Thirty years of adulterated street drugs'll get you some fuckin' angels, my friend.
Thou shalt not kill. Murder. The fifth commandment. But if you think about it...if you think about it, religion has never really had a problem with murder. Not really. No, more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at slavery, the Middle East, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Holocaust, and the World Trade Center, and you'll see how seriously the religious folks take "Thou Shalt Not Kill." The more devout they are, the more they see murder as negotiable...it's negotiable. It depends, you know? It depends, it depends on who's doing the killing, and who's getting killed.
What is all this shit about angels? Have you heard this? Three out of four people now, believe in angels. What're you, fuckin' stupid? Has everybody lost their fuckin' minds in this country? Angels, shit. You know what I think it is? I think it's a massive collective psychotic chemical flashback of all the drugs - all the drugs - smoked, swallowed, snorted, shot, and absorbed rectally by all Americans from 1960 to 1990. Thirty years of adulterated street drugs'll get you some fuckin' angels, my friend.
Thou shalt not kill. Murder. The fifth commandment. But if you think about it...if you think about it, religion has never really had a problem with murder. Not really. No, more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason. All you have to do is look at slavery, the Middle East, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Holocaust, and the World Trade Center, and you'll see how seriously the religious folks take "Thou Shalt Not Kill." The more devout they are, the more they see murder as negotiable...it's negotiable. It depends, you know? It depends, it depends on who's doing the killing, and who's getting killed.
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Comments
Though, I'm afraid I disagree with him on just a few points. I think more people have died in the name of socialism/communism than any other reason; including religion. Also, I'm not sure if it's fair to call the Nazis religious. They were sort of pagan I guess, but Hitler was no Christian.
It should be remembered that Carlin was far from a one-issue comic. His commentary on contemporary US structures and mind-set were just as incendiary as those about religion. And I am sure that the Chinese would not want 'their' earthquake described as "an amusement park ride" as he said about a Californian quake.
KoB, you are somewhat short on history as socialism is an 18th/19th century invention (like the USA). It is greed and nationalism that have slaughtered millions, using religions and other excuses where necessary.
I can probably agree with you on that one. But I think as far as the necessary excuses go, it's a tight race between socialists and the religious fanatics when you factor in the monstrous numbers killed by Mao, Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot. The former might just "take the cake" (a phrase George Carlin hated by the way
Anyway, he never failed to make me laugh when he explored the conundrums of the English language.