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Seeking Donations
Namasté.
My name is Laura, I am twenty years old, and I live in Maryland, United States.
I am aspiring to become a nun in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh.
In addition to looking for work in this unfavorable economy (with the requirement that it be within walking distance, as I live in the suburbs and do not have a car), I am trying to raise enough money to get to Plum Village in France.
I have qualms about asking for money from strangers without having earned it. But my mother, who is a single parent with my two brothers to put through college, does not have the means to help me, although she stands behind my decision. My father refuses to support my aspiration.
All that having been said, I would like, with palms joined in humility, to ask for donations from anyone who would be willing, even if it is just a dollar. If you would like to sponsor me, please send a private message or e-mail, and I will provide my mailing address, and any other information your trust requires.
All donations will be placed in a savings account and will go towards the purchase of an airline ticket and visa, as well as the least costly accommodation available at Plum Village. I have contacted Plum Village, and although they will not refuse anyone an extended stay due to lack of funds, I am required to pay at least for the first two weeks (560 Euros, or approximately 710 US dollars [at the current exchange rate]).
In any case, thank you very much for taking the time to read this, and for being part of such a beautiful online sangha.
A lotus for you.
[FONT="]Note: I have secured permission from Brian to post this request, but I understand that this site is meant for discussion of the dharma, and I believe I should apologize to anyone who feels that this post is not in keeping with that spirit. I only hope that I will be able to make up for this act of selfishness with a lifetime of service.[/FONT]
My name is Laura, I am twenty years old, and I live in Maryland, United States.
I am aspiring to become a nun in the tradition of Thich Nhat Hanh.
In addition to looking for work in this unfavorable economy (with the requirement that it be within walking distance, as I live in the suburbs and do not have a car), I am trying to raise enough money to get to Plum Village in France.
I have qualms about asking for money from strangers without having earned it. But my mother, who is a single parent with my two brothers to put through college, does not have the means to help me, although she stands behind my decision. My father refuses to support my aspiration.
All that having been said, I would like, with palms joined in humility, to ask for donations from anyone who would be willing, even if it is just a dollar. If you would like to sponsor me, please send a private message or e-mail, and I will provide my mailing address, and any other information your trust requires.
All donations will be placed in a savings account and will go towards the purchase of an airline ticket and visa, as well as the least costly accommodation available at Plum Village. I have contacted Plum Village, and although they will not refuse anyone an extended stay due to lack of funds, I am required to pay at least for the first two weeks (560 Euros, or approximately 710 US dollars [at the current exchange rate]).
In any case, thank you very much for taking the time to read this, and for being part of such a beautiful online sangha.
A lotus for you.
[FONT="]Note: I have secured permission from Brian to post this request, but I understand that this site is meant for discussion of the dharma, and I believe I should apologize to anyone who feels that this post is not in keeping with that spirit. I only hope that I will be able to make up for this act of selfishness with a lifetime of service.[/FONT]
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Comments
As a pensioner trying to eke out a living on the state pension, I have no spare to share. All I can offer are my prayers and merit (if any) from my practice. May I add you to my daily list (together with your family)? We all benefit by the enthusiasm of the young.
Like the Pilgrim, we are two people trying to live on my husbands's pension and my sick pay so we are not in a position to donate but I can contribute some information.
I live in France and looked into staying at Plum Village some time ago. At that time, any person wishing to join the community had to be resident and paying to stay there for a minimum of three months, so I would double-check the current situation before buying an airline ticket.
I'd also add that their prices are ludicruously expensive and ask if you can't find a community that you could join nearer to your home which would not only save you having to travel so far but might be possible to join in the near future, rather than having to wait until you have found the funds.
Blessings on your quest.
Some things also to think about. Have you ever been there? What do you know about the Plum Village Monastery? Are you able to abide by the rules of Monastery? Why do you want to become a nun? Is it a "calling" you feel or does it sound almost like a living song? Sort of like Julie Andrews singing "The Sound of Music" on that hill that is glorious. Sometimes it's more like cleaning toilets and showers and cooking meals and many other menial duties that must be done to keep things going.
Now, I will admit that sometimes the idea of becoming a Buddhist monk sounds really great. Being able to chant, meditate, study the Dhamma sounds so romantic. Weeding gardens, preparing meals, and cleaning toilets doesn't sound that grand. Living up in a mountain away from society sounds great. Living with the same group of people day in and day out that aren't your family can be quite a challenge. Though they will be loving and compassionate, they will also expect alot from you.
One last thing. How addicted are you to technology? I would not be able to live without my computer, IPod, and DVD player. Now some would say not much of a loss. They would think that the first couple of weeks and it would be easy. I was challenged to give up my Walkman and Christian metal tapes a the church house I was in. It was not pleasant in the least.
If you are sure this is what you want to do, then instead of just asking us for money, tell us why you think you need to do this. I am on unemployment right now and anyone asking for money better have a good reason why. Thich Naht Hahn is a revered leader, and being a nun is noble. Why is this for you? How did you come by this? Are you willing to live celibate or other difficult choices you must make?
Remember, making a choice like this can be life changing and a wonderful thing. If it is not right for you, it can be a living hell and you would be grateful for someone to rescue you from it.
Simon,
I deeply understand your situation and wish you all the best. May you live comfortably and in good health and spirits. Your prayers and merit (of which I am sure there is an abundance) are greatly appreciated and graciously accepted, and I, together with my family, would be honored to be added to your daily list. I will keep you in my heart.
Knitwitch,
May you live comfortably and in good health and spirits. Thank you for your information and insight – I promise to look into the matter more thoroughly and give my present decision more thought.
Jerry,
Thank you for your concern.
Since I was a little child, before I ever knew what a nun was, before I had ever heard of Buddhism, I felt an irresistible pull to follow this path. It is only recently that I found that this path had a name, and that it was actually possible to follow it. I have always felt like a round peg trying to fit into a square hollow, and when I discovered that the life I had been dreaming of could be more than just a dream, that it could actually be turned into a reality, I was, elated, overjoyed! Words cannot describe it – only a smile will do.
Though I am currently unemployed, I am no stranger to work and sacrifice. Since my parents divorced when I was seven, I have devoted nearly every waking hour (and sometimes sleeping ones) to helping my mother in whatever way I can. Throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school, when I was not doing homework, I was sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing sinks and toilets and tubs, wiping down counters and stoves and ovens, windexing windows, doing laundry, taking care of the cats, and doing whatever else I could. It was only when I went off to college for a year that this was interrupted, and even then I spent every break making up for lost time.
I have always found a great joy and satisfaction in such work, not only because I knew that I was making life even a little bit easier for my mom, but because of the wondrous simplicity of each task. It was so beautifully uncomplicated, so real, so innocent! And when I finally learned of mindfulness, well…. Thay can best describe that miracle. I came to Buddhism through books and classes and sutra study, but I only found the dharma when I began to practice it in everyday life. Indeed, the romanticism of monastic life for me lies in the very weeding of gardens, the cooking and serving of meals, and in the scrubbing of toilets!
As for the difficulties of community life, I realize that it will be a challenge. I lived in a dorm at college with a difficult roommate and difficult neighbors. I will miss my family and friends dearly, but I look forward to living in a community in which I know that we all share a common and beautiful purpose, and I believe that such a bond will be enough to see us through any conflicts that may arise.
“Stepping Into Freedom: An Introduction to Buddhist Monastic Training,” written and compiled by the monks and nuns of Plum Village, has been my prime source of study and practice, as it contains gathas for daily use, the ten novice precepts, and mindful manners. I have been applying everything that I can from this book, and I wholeheartedly believe that I will be able to abide by the rules of the monastery. I have no doubts when it comes to that. Admittedly, I have not been to Plum Village, but do not think I have skimped on my research! I know that my route is perhaps not the wisest one, but I will stand by it until I find a better way, and I am prepared to accept the consequences of my actions.
With regards to technology, there are no worries there. I have only just recently set up a Facebook account (for the sole purpose of finding and contacting my friends from college), and have only just recently signed up for Yahoo! Messenger (for the sole purpose of attending sangha meetings). I do not own an iPod. I have only two CDs, Nawang Khechog’s “Music as Medicine” and a disc called “Sleeping Through the Rain” to help with my nightmares and insomnia. I have only one DVD, Thay’s “Mindful Movements.” At college, I went for an entire school year without a television, and here at home I try to conserve electricity and so limit my time in front of the TV and on the computer.
I know, believe me, I know that this is a serious commitment. All my life I have been waiting to be tested. I know that my brothers and sisters will expect much from me. I would not have it any other way. I have always held myself to the highest of standards, to the point of being unrealistic. To the point of it being dangerous to my physical and mental health. Any pressure that anyone has ever put on me has always fallen short of that which I exert upon myself. Pushing myself too hard led to what I can only call a nervous breakdown in what would have been my second year of college. I succumbed to anxiety. I sunk into depression. I wanted to die. I spent a week in the hospital – it felt like an eternity in hell – with hopes of getting help, but what I experienced instead was a terrible ordeal that broke me apart. It was there that my path became clear to me. They filled me with fear and doubt. They told me not to make any life-changing decisions in my state. But I knew that it was my practice that had saved my life in the end – it is my practice that is still saving my life to this day! Although I have learned not to be so hard on myself that it leads to a crisis, I can and do still maintain a strict discipline. I will not settle for anything less than life-changing, than life-saving.
Ultimately, all I can say is that I just want to do what is best. For myself. For my family. For society. For the world.
May you live comfortably and in good health and spirits.
A lotus for each of you.
I suffer from mental health problems. I am Bipolar and have anxiety and phobic disorders. I have experienced breakdowns such as you describe several times for the same reasons - unrealistic expectations of self.
Believe me when I back up your doctors told you - you are in no state to make a lifetime commitment. For anyone with mental health problems it is a temptation to fling oneself into ANYTHING that might seem to be the one and only answer, the solution that you have been looking for all your life.
And I will back up what Jerbear said - while becoming a Buddhist nun might seem like the answer to your prayers, it could so easily become a nightmare WHEN you find yourself far from home, not in the right place or doing the right thing.
I have done what you are planning on doing several times in my life - seized a course of action that seemed to be The Answer and changed my life entirely to go with it. Each time it was a disaster. Please click on my blog link at the bottom of this post to read in more detail.
I would advise you to get professional help - therapy and medication and continue your practice while looking for a job. It is perfectly possible and in your situation more skillful to continue your Buddhist practice in the outside world while trying to solve your health problems.
I say this in great love and with the desire to help you.
Please, please understand that I am in no way flinging myself into anything. This decision has been a long time in the making.
Please, please understand that I do not see this as the one and only course of action. I have scholarships and a 4.0 GPA and could very easily go back to school and pursue a more socially-acceptable life, but I choose not to.
Please, please understand that this has nothing to do with finding an answer to any prayers. I have never prayed or wished for the world to change to accommodate my lofty dreams. I have always accepted the world as it is and learned to adapt and survive (even if it meant getting used to being a round peg in a square hollow), though I have ever held in my heart the hope – no, the belief, the knowledge – that I could make this place a better home for every sentient being.
This opportunity is not a reply sent by the universe to answer any prayer of mine. This decision is my answer to a call of duty that has been echoing in my head for years. I did not choose this path – it chose me. I am not running away from anything. In fact, I am diving headlong into the most intimidating experience of my life, not for my own sake but for the sake of countless others.
And I must say this with regard to mental illnesses. We are stamped with labels like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and numerous other problems. While these labels are useful in diagnosis and treatment, they dissolve in the face of ultimate reality, when we look at each other simply as human beings. It is all relative. Everyone has a seed of depression in them, a seed of anxiety in them, and so on. There is no such black and white distinction as healthy and the unhealthy. They are all shades of gray. We cannot allow ourselves to be imprisoned by these labels, to let them create a sense of self, especially if that self is a flawed one. Everyone has the Buddha nature. And everyone has to face Mara. Suffering is universal. Individual suffering, identical. It only appears that we suffer from different afflictions…I know that this is just a bunch of rambling and nonsense, but it is the best I can do, and I needed to see it in writing for my own peace of mind.
Recommended Reading: Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach, Ph. D.
Looking for Each Other
from Call Me By My True Names by Thich Nhat Hanh
I have been looking for you, World Honored One,
since I was a little child.
With my first breath, I heard your call,
and began to look for you, Blessed One.
I’ve walked so many perilous paths,
confronted so many dangers,
endured despair, fear, hopes, and memories.
I’ve trekked to the farthest regions, immense and wild,
sailed the vast oceans,
traversed the highest summits, lost among the clouds.
I’ve laid dead, utterly alone,
on the sands of ancient deserts.
I’ve held in my heart so many tears of stone.
Blessed One, I’ve dreamed of drinking dewdrops
that sparkle with the light of far-off galaxies.
I’ve left footprints on celestial mountains
and screamed from the depths of Avici Hell, exhausted, crazed with despair
because I was so hungry, so thirsty.
For millions of lifetimes,
I’ve longed to see you,
but didn’t know where to look.
Yet, I’ve always felt your presence with a mysterious certainty.
I know that for thousands of lifetimes,
you and I have been one,
and the distance between us is only a flash of thought.
Just yesterday while walking alone,
I saw the old path strewn with Autumn leaves,
and the brilliant moon, hanging over the gate,
suddenly appeared like the image of an old friend.
And all the stars confirmed that you were there!
All night, the rain of compassion continued to fall,
while lightning flashed through my window
and a great storm arose,
as if Earth and Sky were in battle.
Finally in me the rain stopped, the clouds parted.
The moon returned,
shining peacefully, calming Earth and Sky.
Looking into the mirror of the moon, suddenly
I saw myself,
and I saw you smiling, Blessed One.
How strange!
The moon of freedom has returned to me,
everything I thought I had lost.
From that moment on,
and in each moment that followed,
I saw that nothing had gone.
There is nothing that should be restored.
Every flower, every stone, and every leaf recognize me.
Wherever I turn, I see you smiling
the smile of no-birth and no-death.
The smile I received while looking at the mirror of the moon.
I see you sitting there, solid as Mount Meru,
calm as my own breath,
sitting as though no raging fire storm ever occurred,
sitting in complete peace and in freedom.
At last I have found you, Blessed One,
and I have found myself.
There I sit.
The deep blue sky,
the snow-capped mountains painted against the horizon,
and the shining red sun sing with joy.
You, Blessed One, are my first love.
The love that is always present, always pure, and freshly new.
And I shall never need a love that will be called “last.”
You are the source of well-being flowing through numberless troubled lives,
the water from your spiritual stream always pure, as it was in the beginning.
You are the source of peace,
solidity, and inner freedom.
You are the Buddha, the Tathagata.
With my one-pointed mind
I vow to nourish your solidity and freedom in myself
so I can offer solidity and freedom to countless others,
now and forever.
To be honest you didn't come here for advice, only money, so I will not contribute any more to this thread and will PM you any further comments I might have.
My only observation would be that if you are so enthusiastic about going to Plum Village to do menial jobs, and that you rejoice in undertaking toilet cleaning ... why don't you take a menial job to fund you trip rather than expecting complete strangers to stump up for it?
If I had a job, I'd send you some money, but I'm afraid I am quite broke at the moment. However, as our dear Simon said, I will dedicate the merit of my practice to your endeavors and pray for the best outcome. That actually, in my book anyway, is much more useful than money. As it says on our Prayer Without Ceasing website, "...praying for others is not the least you can do for them, but the most."
Since you live in Annapolis and I am not so far away in Poolesville, if you would like to visit our temple and talk about life as a monastic, I think it might be helpful to you. It's something we encourage whenever we have someone who is considering monastic life. Just PM me, and we can arrange a time. We have lots of nuns you can talk to who have been nuns for quite a while.
Best wishes,
Palzang
I'm afraid I'm not at my best and not able to reply properly. I now realize that this thread is causing unrest in the community. I withdraw my request. I have done wrong, and I am deeply sorry.
Don't worry about Knitwitch: her anti-clericalism is showing but she really is a sweetheart. And don't leave us because you're "not at your best": the great thing about this place is that it takes little or no time to get comfortable here whether at our best or our worst.
And do take Palzang up on his offer if you can.
Thanks all.