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Beginning Anew
Hello, Sangha.
I know that I am new here, and I know too that I have not made a very good entrance. In light of the posts on “Seeking Donations,” as well as some private messages exchanged, I feel that I should take the first step in Beginning Anew, following Thich Nhat Hanh’s guidelines for the practice.
I would first like to share my regret for being unskillful in my posts. I did not use Right Speech.
“Aware that lack of communication always brings separation and suffering, I am committed to training myself in the practice of compassionate listening and loving speech. I will learn to listen deeply without judging or reacting and refrain from uttering words that can create discord or cause the community to break. I will make every effort to keep communications open and to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.”
-The Eighth Mindfulness Training of the Order of Interbeing
I renew my vow here before the sangha to do my best to learn about and practice this precept in the future.
I would now like to apologize to the community, and specifically to Jerbear and Knitwitch, for not speaking skillfully. I am deeply sorry.
On Beginning Anew (source: plumvillage.org)
To Begin Anew is to look deeply and honestly at ourselves, our past actions, speech and thoughts and to create a fresh beginning within ourselves and in our relationships with others. We practice Beginning Anew to clear our mind and keep our practice fresh. The practice of Beginning Anew helps us develop our kind speech and compassionate listening. When a difficulty arises in our relationships with fellow practitioners and one of us feels resentment or hurt, we know it is time to Begin Anew.
1) Flower watering - This is a chance to share our appreciation for the other person. We may mention specific instances that the other person said or did something that we had admired. This is an opportunity to shine light on the other’s strengths and contributions to the sangha and to encourage the growth of his or her positive qualities.
2) Sharing regrets - We may mention any unskillfulness in our actions, speech or thoughts that we have not yet had an opportunity to apologize for.
3) Expressing a hurt - We may share how we felt hurt by an interaction with another practitioner, due to his or her actions, speech or thoughts. To express a hurt we should first water the other person’s flower by sharing positive qualities that we have truly observed in him or her.
4) Sharing a long-term difficulty & asking for support - At times we each have difficulties and pain arise from our past that surface in the present. When we share an issue that we are dealing with we can let the people around us understand us better and offer the support that we really need.
I know that I am new here, and I know too that I have not made a very good entrance. In light of the posts on “Seeking Donations,” as well as some private messages exchanged, I feel that I should take the first step in Beginning Anew, following Thich Nhat Hanh’s guidelines for the practice.
I would first like to share my regret for being unskillful in my posts. I did not use Right Speech.
“Aware that lack of communication always brings separation and suffering, I am committed to training myself in the practice of compassionate listening and loving speech. I will learn to listen deeply without judging or reacting and refrain from uttering words that can create discord or cause the community to break. I will make every effort to keep communications open and to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.”
-The Eighth Mindfulness Training of the Order of Interbeing
I renew my vow here before the sangha to do my best to learn about and practice this precept in the future.
I would now like to apologize to the community, and specifically to Jerbear and Knitwitch, for not speaking skillfully. I am deeply sorry.
On Beginning Anew (source: plumvillage.org)
To Begin Anew is to look deeply and honestly at ourselves, our past actions, speech and thoughts and to create a fresh beginning within ourselves and in our relationships with others. We practice Beginning Anew to clear our mind and keep our practice fresh. The practice of Beginning Anew helps us develop our kind speech and compassionate listening. When a difficulty arises in our relationships with fellow practitioners and one of us feels resentment or hurt, we know it is time to Begin Anew.
1) Flower watering - This is a chance to share our appreciation for the other person. We may mention specific instances that the other person said or did something that we had admired. This is an opportunity to shine light on the other’s strengths and contributions to the sangha and to encourage the growth of his or her positive qualities.
2) Sharing regrets - We may mention any unskillfulness in our actions, speech or thoughts that we have not yet had an opportunity to apologize for.
3) Expressing a hurt - We may share how we felt hurt by an interaction with another practitioner, due to his or her actions, speech or thoughts. To express a hurt we should first water the other person’s flower by sharing positive qualities that we have truly observed in him or her.
4) Sharing a long-term difficulty & asking for support - At times we each have difficulties and pain arise from our past that surface in the present. When we share an issue that we are dealing with we can let the people around us understand us better and offer the support that we really need.
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Comments
To begin with, welcome to the forum. That being said, there is no need to apologize, you have done nothing wrong. We are all relatively friendly here, and while it looks to me that Jerbear and Knitwitch were just giving you some sound advice, there will always be those in life who see things differently and, as a consequence, disagree with you, but do not let that discourage you from following your heart or speaking your mind.
Jason
For what it's worth, I think we're all a bit misunderstood, plus we seldom make the impressions we want.
Jason
I was not offended or harmed by what you said. I was speaking from experience of living in a religious community. It is not for most. After 2 years, I was so glad to be away from it as it was extremely strict. I thought this particular community was an answer to a lot of prayers. I did learn alot, but found that it was not the answer I was looking for in the long run. I know that I would be quite angry with myself if I had said nothing and you had found it wasn't the right answer for you. You must live with your own decisions and ultimately they are yours to make.
Something has come to mind. Have you done any retreats? That would be a taste of monastic life without making a huge financial commitment and learning what it is like. From some of the requirements I've read for some of them, there are plenty of things one can not do or bring to them. It would give you a taste of what it would be like. There is a part of me that would love to do one. There is also another part of me that is not sure if I could do it d/t physical problems.
I truly hope that you find the answer to this situation that is both fruitful and bares the dharma in you.
...what, with buddhafoot playing the part of anchor and all...
We do understand and we are the sort of group that is interested and caring.
Personally, I would really value your 'using' this group as a sort of blog of this journey of yours, whatever you decide, however you worry about it and whenever you have a celebration to share.
And, as you may have noticed, we have a few people here with quite a lot of experience. They may recommend ideas that have not occurred to you and we may be of some small help. This would bring us great merit too so it's win-win.
This is hardly surprising.
The main aspect, and greater component of Effective Communication, is and always has been, Body Language.
I might be mistaken, but that's quite a hard one to convey in writing on a forum....
I'm sure it would all have been far easier if we could all have sat on the verandah (this 'house has one) sipping hot raspberry-flavoured green tea, munching on some shortbread, and watching the dogs play in the huge garden.
See?
I'm building a picture.
It's not Body Language, but it's the best I can do!
Welcome to the board! It's lovely to meet you.
My greatest wish is to become a Buddhist nun too, but unfortunately my physical disability prevents that possibility...for now. Maybe I'll be cured one day, who knows?
I understand what you're saying and where you're coming from and I support you 100%. (Wish that could be financial...*sigh*
You're so young which is wonderful! I'm so happy for you that you've found a way to service at such a young age. I hope it means you'll have a long life in service to the Dhamma and to all sentient beings everywhere.
You also have many, many resources in and around the part of the world in which you live, so take advantage of what you have on your doorstep. Go on retreats, meet other lay followers (when you get to know people you can get lifts in their cars to retreats and Dhamma centres etc.), check out what's on offer. Buddhism is exploding in North America and you're right in the heart of it.
I know your aspirations will become reality because you have great determination and clear sightedness.
Greatest blessings to you, dear sister in the Dhamma.
Love,
Boo
Just as the soft rains fill the streams,
pour into the rivers, and join together in the oceans,
so may the power of every moment of your goodness
flow forth to awaken and heal all beings –
those here now, those gone before, and those yet to come.
By the power of every moment of your goodness,
may your heart's wishes be soon fulfilled
as completely shining as the bright full moon,
as magically as by a wish-fulfilling gem.
By the power of every moment of your goodness,
may all dangers be averted and all disease be gone.
May no obstacle come across your path.
May you enjoy fulfillment and long life.
For all in whose heart dwells respect,
who follow wisdom and compassion,
may your life prosper.
May all beings everywhere
plagued with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending one another.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.
Source: BeliefNet
I was just reading a collection of teachings by Ajahn Chah in the form of similes this morning and was amazed, as usual, at the effect they had on my mind and mood. The Dhamma makes me feel invincible. I'm so grateful to be able to hear and understand (well, mostly) these teachings and happy for us all to have the Dhamma in our lives.
My big orange tabby, Tom, is snuggled up beside me purring contentedly on this cold, gray winter day and I'm grateful to have him as a friend, too. You wouldn't believe how loud he purrs! It's hilarious. I especially love it when he wraps his two paws around my left arm and squeezes, like he's hugging me. This is one adorable cat and I'm so glad he came to live with us. It's a good day today.
Give Tom a big hug and a good chin-scratching for me!
We have three other cats besides Tom and they all found their way to our farmhouse in the middle of nowhere somehow. We're very grateful they decided to spend their lives with us because they bring the greatest amount of joy, love and hilarity.
Tom's barrel shaped too! Lol! We have to be really careful with his food because he's an over-eater. The other ones aren't. And I'll definitely give Tom a good chin-scratching. That's his favourite thing!
Hugs to you and your cats.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. Trying to get better enough to go back to work part/full time. I get too bored staying at home.
Two n' Boo (:))
I am not a cat lover, but treat them well. As a member of the ASPCA, I hate any animal not being treated well. My partner really is more for me getting a dog than I am, but right now I can't take appropriate care of it. When the time comes, then I will and spoil it rotten. I like "ugly" dogs. Bull dogs, pugs, basset hounds. They all have this face that just says "Love me, please".
Palzang
Sorry guys - I have got a bit wound up recently. Two Hands and I have exchanged PMs and understood each other's points of view a lot better. I give her, and all of you, a big hug.
I can only apologise for being a bit OTT and over-reacting. The fact that I have now got some quite severe after effects from my operation are no excuse for being rude to my friends - please excuse and forgive.
It doesn't help that this is a Buddhist site and there are many things that seem obvious and accepted to those of you have taken refuge but are not so clear cut to me. Opportunity for debate ... but not spite. Sorry.
I'm hoping with all my heart that the awful after effects of your operation don't last long and that you'll be right as rain as soon as possible.
I sometimes think we in the modern world take surgery somewhat for granted and perhaps view it as being simpler and less prone to complications than it really is. In the past year 5 people I know have had surgery and they've all gone through post-op complications to varying degrees. And now you too, Knitwitch.
Take very good care of yourself and follow the doctor's orders and always know you're on my mind and in my heart with great love and deep respect.
Love,
Boo
So anyway, no worries my friend.
It really is a bummer trying to stay sweet and cheerful when you are in a deal of pain and worrying about what is wrong with you.
Be kind to yourself Boo - I am sure you are never as bad as you think.
We had our feast tonight and I imagined all of you sitting around the table with us ... fortunately it is a French farmhouse sized kitchen table so there is plenty of room for everyone.
You all liked my table decoration made with pine sprays and cones with four gold candles around the outside and we toasted each other in Tarragona, my favourite Spanish wine.
May the returning Sun bring Light and love to you all.
My partner has a phobia about dogs. I'm not sure that a pitbull would be a good choice knowing that, but thanks for the offer.
Happy Chaunukkah
Merry Christmas
Happy Kwanzaa
Blessed Winter Solstice
Happy Human Light (Humanists, Agnostics, Naturalists)
Happy Thursday (for anyone who is not covered)
Palzang
I absolutely adore Siamese cats!
Ever since I was little I've wanted a Siamese. Now that I'm older and have developed even more of an appreciation for the feline, I'm crazy for Siamese cats. At the risk of sounding elitist, I think they're the very kings and queens of the cat world. I spend a good part of my time watching the cats, trying my best to figure them out without anthropomorphizing too much, because they fascinate me. It's taken me years to figure out some of the behaviours of our cats and still they're a mystery to me in so many ways. They're like a fantastic storybook that never ends and just keeps getting better.
And of all the different kinds of cats in the world, the Siamese is by far the most fascinating. I'd just love to spend a good 15-20 years with two or three of them. I bet they're hilarious, too. You must share some stories when you get the chance. I'm going to take some pictures of our four and post them in a new cat thread. We had one going a while back but it's time for a new one.
I've completely hijacked this thread. Sorry, TwoHands!
Our cat Nigel is part Siamese...........AAAAAAAAAA Are you serious!
If you have not viewed the movie Lady and the Tramp lately you may want to go back and watch the cat part.........Remember the 2 cats and the song......We are Siamese if you please. lol
I remember that part from Lady and the Tramp now that you reminded me!! Maybe that's what made me fall in love with them when I was little. Lol!!! I know. I'm nutty.
We opened our gift to a pair of big leather work gloves.......lol She smiled and said, they are to wear when you play with the cat......:eek:
Now: two rescue cats, one of which is Siamese and as mad as any of the breed. She's a trollop. Been in more laps than a napkin. Sunya by name and beautiful by nature.
Here she is, with her dear friend Bilbo, the 70 year-old tortoise:
Les
Palzang