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Letting go
I have a question; I have to undergo a major surgery and I'm pretty scared. I know that I should let go of it, but some part of me can't.
It's about surrendering and letting the docs do their job; does anyone have advice about how 'to let it go'. The control and to surrender?
It's about surrendering and letting the docs do their job; does anyone have advice about how 'to let it go'. The control and to surrender?
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Comments
May I share with you a poem that I wrote on the day before I underwent quadrup0le bypass surgery. As a slow learner and despite the months of waiting for the op., one aspect of it had only just struck me:
Written on my 52nd birthday
The evening primroses are flowering
in sun-rise yellow.
The tiger lily buds begin
to warm.
We've picked our first crop
of secret,
home-grown,
all neglected
strawberries.
My oldest friend
and my best love
are both with me.
And you and I watch the light
reflect like steel
on Severn from the hill.
In two days time,
a moment when
'they' stop my heart
And,
fifty two years in,
it feels
good
to be alive.
© 4/7/95
Butterfly, I remember reading an account of a situation in which a Buddhist friend had to undergo an operation for breast cancer, and in the midst of her understandable fear, helplessness and anxiety, she truly experienced the need to let go.
She had no choice.
There was nothing within herself that could deal with the issue by itself; she was obliged to hand over that duty, lock, stock and barrel, to experienced professionals.
They cared for her, were sympathetic, gentle and sensitive - but they were doing their job.
They were taking care of her body.
She realised then, that the only thing she could tangibly affect - and be responsible for - was her Mind.
And she realised she had a further choice:
tackle it head-on, like a battle, or resign herself to the calm of Trust and Acceptance.
She further came to the logical reasoning that, the more she permitted herself to fret, the higher her anxiety levels would rise, and she would affect her physical state adversely.
The greatest help she could give herself - and her carers - was to be calm, serene and willing.
If you are unable to actually, actively contribute to your own process of healing physically, rest your mind.
permit yourself to dwell in the apprehensiveness you have, and get to the heart of it.
Accept it as natural, but comfort yourself and trust those who are helping you to do their job.
Focus on your particular emotion of this - or any - moment, and pick it to pieces, like a knotted thread....make it your friend, because you can feel it, so it needs consideration.....
Above all, breathe.
When you feel anything coming up, and making you anxious, stop.
Breathe.
Accept, and resign yourself to this moment.
It will slip imperceptibly into the next...
go with this flow......
And smile.
Breathe, and smile.
It is astonishing how the combination of the two can bring about an inner sanctum of serenity.....
We wish you well.
Butterfly, take heart in the fact that surgeons do this stuff (whatever the op) several times a day, and they're highly skilled at what they do, and while we are scared to death, it's another day at the office for them.
Put your trust in them and your faith in whatever calms your spirit, and everything will turn out just fine.
Les
I loved your post Fede! I had the same issue before undergoing hip replacement. I found that I didn't just let go, I "surrendered" to the fact that I needed a procedure done and the sooner it was over, the sooner I could work on healing.
Accept.
Breathe.
Get better.
(((hugs)))
Fede X
Bit of an anti-climax there, Butterfly...... I feel for you.
Oh well....
This will give you ample time to have a giggle at the purlers life hurls us....
Grip the bat, steady your stance, plant your feet and take another swing at it.....
Here's another way to look at it: Life has just handed you a fantastic opportunity to face down fear in whatever guise it comes to you in. (Sorry, bad sentence structure, but you know what I mean.) The more opportunities we have to face fear, anxiety, worry, concern, whatever it is, the more skill we develop. And not just in facing fear but in many other things as well.
So you've just been given more time, until the 30th, to manage your anxiety in a Buddhist way. We can all give you pointers on how to do it the Buddhist way. Like 'relax into it', 'surrender into it', 'calmly observe what your mind is doing', 'remind yourself that this state of anxiety, like all things, is impermanent' etc. But you can always conduct your own search online for Buddhist ways to manage fear and anxiety.
The point is to completely change the very way you're looking at the situation. Turn it from something scary into something wonderful and full of hope and promise for your practice. Fake it if you have to. Once you've changed the way you see and approach the situation everything else gently falls into place. Start at the beginning, at the foundation, the mind. And go from there.
Everything's going to be all right.
Just wanted to say that I particularly loved your posts on this thread. Wonderful!
I love your poetry, Simon. I love the way you structure the words and feelings. Please share as much of it as you feel like because I can never get enough of it.
Thank you, dear Boo. Not everyone likes 'open field' poetry.
I second that emotion!!!
Federica gave you some very good advice.
"Relax.
Accept.
Breathe.
Get better."
I had major surgery a few years ago and I found meditation and general mindfulness of breathing was very helpful to me. If you feel tense and anxious just say to yourself "Letting go" with the outbreath.
I found it quite an interesting experience and I felt just fine before and after.There was really no need for worry.
I hope all will be well for you too.
Kind wishes,
Dazzle
She was a Buddhist. It , I see, is more about my need to NOT let go.
"Perhaps"
(Sonoma County , June 2009)
Perhaps you'll go ahead
Crest the near hill
Wait in that black-boughed thicket's shade.
Yellowed grass may whisper secrets as you climb:
Keep those and I'll follow.