Letting Go of Pity?

Glow · May 2009

How does one overcome the tendency towards pity? It's known as the near enemy of compassion, and I find myself getting caught up in pity, where I try to build compassion. It's hard to tell where one ends and another begins, much of the time.

nomad · May 2009

Glow wrote: »

How does one overcome the tendency towards pity? It's known as the near enemy of compassion, and I find myself getting caught up in pity, where I try to build compassion. It's hard to tell where one ends and another begins, much of the time.

Glow · May 2009

Towards others, although I do experience self-pity sometimes.

federica · May 2009

It's easy to distinguish one from the other.

Pity makes you want to do things for them.
Compassion makes you want to help them do things for themselves.

Floating_Abu · May 2009

Compassion is not a fixed position or entity, in my opinion. Those with deep compassion have sometimes helped me, other times encouraged me, and sometimes have simply done nothing whilst I wailed. _/\_

Glow · May 2009

federica wrote: »

It's easy to distinguish one from the other.

Pity makes you want to do things for them.
Compassion makes you want to help them do things for themselves.

Ah, wow. This is profound and succinct. Perfect.

Very good distinction.

Floating_Abu wrote: »

Compassion is not a fixed position or entity, in my opinion. Those with deep compassion have sometimes helped me, other times encouraged me, and sometimes have simply done nothing whilst I wailed. _/\_

Thanks for this. I think you're right. I seem to have this image in my head that compassion will look or feel a certain way, but that is probably not the case.

Esau101 · May 2009

I think that compassion is love without the ego being involved. When we truly love ourselves and all beings about us then we have some understanding of compassion. "In the garden of thy heart plant naught but a rose garden".Forgot who said it, but I think it says a lot.

Cheers.

Glow · May 2009

Esau101 wrote: »

I think that compassion is love without the ego being involved. When we truly love ourselves and all beings about us then we have some understanding of compassion. "In the garden of thy heart plant naught but a rose garden".Forgot who said it, but I think it says a lot.

Cheers.

This makes a lot of sense, Esau101. Pity involves the ego feeling more "fortunate" than someone else. It's interesting how closely intertwined compassion is with equanimity and lovingkindness.

sambodhi · May 2009

This seems like semantics to me. In the dictionary, "pity" is defined as the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortune of others. What does that have to do with ego?

It seems to me as if pity and compassion are synonymous.

federica · May 2009

Compassion has more of a constructive premise.
Mother Teresa had much Compassion for everyone, but couldn't half kick @$$ if she wanted to...
Pity carries a connotation of condescention.....
That's why I think we're trying to differentiate here, although I take your point on the semantics.
However, if it was just a question of semantics, perhaps we would see the word Pity instead of Compassion in the teachings?

It's not used, I think, for the reasons I gave.....

Simonthepilgrim · May 2009

federica wrote: »

Compassion has more of a constructive premise.
Mother Teresa had much Compassion for everyone, but couldn't half kick @$$ if she wanted to...
Pity carries a connotation of condescention.....
That's why I think we're trying to differentiate here, although I take your point on the semantics.
However, if it was just a question of semantics, perhaps we would see the word Pity instead of Compassion in the teachings?

It's not used, I think, for the reasons I gave.....

I think you are right about the different 'spin' or overtones on the two words, Fede. Interestingly enough, the opposite spin is experienced in French, where "compassion" is deemed condescending. It's a bit like the problem with the word "charity" in 1 Cor. 13

Floating_Abu · May 2009

Until you are compassion, I would be careful about the kick your ass type mentality, masked/explained as perceived compassion.

With all respect to all involved, just a view.

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