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Ego, or is it me

DatumDatum
edited July 2009 in Buddhism Basics
I am struggling to understand why I find that going to budhist centres for anything from zen meditations classed to general discussion classes so un enjoyable. I find (i think) that everyone is an expert and if you have the right hair cut and right tie dyed t-shirt on then you are welcome. I am exaggerating here but I hope u know what I mean, it seems like no one is humble. Is this common and if so how do u get around this or do u just keep looking for a centre that is not pretentious.??

Comments

  • DhammaDhatuDhammaDhatu Veteran
    edited July 2009
    The last time I went to a buddhist centre, my mind was pondering the human beings there were merely comprised of body [earth, wind, fire, water], feeling, perception, mental formations and consciousness.

    As for 'humility', this is an ego state.

    :)
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited July 2009
    Hi, Datum, and welcome to the board. It's always lovely to see new people here.

    I haven't run into the same problem myself but then again I've only visited one Buddhist centre/monastery. :)

    But in my opinion if a person isn't comfortable at a centre for whatever reason it would be better to find a place more suitable. The centre is there to facilitate spiritual growth and development not stymie it.

    I wouldn't have a very good time at a place where the general attitude was one of ego and elitism. If it was bad enough that it got in the way of my practice I'd definitely go elsewhere.

    Again, welcome to the board!
  • NirvanaNirvana aka BUBBA   `     `   South Carolina, USA Veteran
    edited July 2009
    Dhamma Dhatu wrote: »
    The last time I went to a buddhist centre, my mind was pondering the human beings there were merely comprised of body [earth, wind, fire, water], feeling, perception, mental formations and consciousness.

    As for 'humility', this is an ego state.

    :)

    DD, I wanted to reply to the initial post, but am glad I didn't. Your reply was succinct, kind and thoughtful, whereas mine would have suggested pointing the accusing finger inward a bit more.

    I am beginning to think that you, Sir, are not really as bad as you sometimes let on.

    May the Force Be Always With You!

    Nirvy
  • DazzleDazzle
    edited July 2009
    Datum wrote: »
    I am struggling to understand why I find that going to budhist centres for anything from zen meditations classed to general discussion classes so un enjoyable. I find (i think) that everyone is an expert and if you have the right hair cut and right tie dyed t-shirt on then you are welcome. I am exaggerating here but I hope u know what I mean, it seems like no one is humble. Is this common and if so how do u get around this or do u just keep looking for a centre that is not pretentious.??

    Hi Datum, and welcome.

    .
    If one really doesn't feel comfortable at a centre then maybe its a good idea to look elsewhere. I must confess I don't find those kind of problems at the centre I go to. The female lama and ordained sangha are very friendly and welcoming there, as are the other students.
    Additionally, I visited a monastery from a different Buddhist tradition recently and found it very friendly there too.
    In general though, it might also be good to focus on what is on offer at a centre rather than on one's fellow students - and give everyone a big smile!:D

    Kind wishes,

    Dazzle
  • fivebellsfivebells Veteran
    edited July 2009
    Datum, can you give us three specific examples of the kind of behavior you find troublesome?
  • gracklegrackle Veteran
    edited July 2009
    Dear Datum,
    It can be difficult to find a center that you feel at home in. There is in some centers elitism and a very definite haughtiness. So if you have some choices utilize them. If not then try to make the best of it. Given time and patience you will find yourself a home.

    grackle
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