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Kindness with Wisdom
Dear All,
I'd like to ask for your opinion about the concept of kindness with wisdom in Buddhism. Is it right if we say that the act of kindness must be targeted to people who are really in need? How should we know if we are allowed help others or not? For example, let's say after a bowling session, there are around 50 bowling balls that need to be kept from the bowling track area to the shelf. There was an aged lady who was on duty to keep all of them in place. Looking at her moving the balls one by one to the shelf, should we help her or just let her be, since it was her duty?
I know this is simple little thing, but i've heard many people telling me not to do something (as simple as throwing used eating utensils to the dustbin in a dining hall) because "it's their job to do that". Am I only meddlesome? Hope to hear your opinion on this.
Cheers
I'd like to ask for your opinion about the concept of kindness with wisdom in Buddhism. Is it right if we say that the act of kindness must be targeted to people who are really in need? How should we know if we are allowed help others or not? For example, let's say after a bowling session, there are around 50 bowling balls that need to be kept from the bowling track area to the shelf. There was an aged lady who was on duty to keep all of them in place. Looking at her moving the balls one by one to the shelf, should we help her or just let her be, since it was her duty?
I know this is simple little thing, but i've heard many people telling me not to do something (as simple as throwing used eating utensils to the dustbin in a dining hall) because "it's their job to do that". Am I only meddlesome? Hope to hear your opinion on this.
Cheers
0
Comments
I don't think it's all that complicated, really. Kindness isn't something we should ration; we should try to be kind to everyone and help whomever we're inclined to help.
The main thing to remember is that we're responsible for our own actions (AN 5.57), and in my opinion, we should worry more about what we think is the right thing to do than what other people tell us is the right thing because they don't have to live with the consequences.
Jason
In order to be kind, with wisdom, you need to separate the "I am doing a kind thing for someone" and the "I hope they appreciate I am being kind" from the action itself.
You do something out of kindness, but you simply focus on the beneficial action, without any agenda.
No "I hope they don't mind me doing this"
No "I don't care if I get told off, I'm still doing it!"
Just do it, because Wisdom and Kindness - or occasionally, Compassion - go together (as it's often said) like the two wings on a bird, without one of which, the bird cannot fly.
Don't do a kindness.
BE a kindness.
Kindness is good human relations plus it makes us open-hearted and open-handed, free from what the Buddha called "the stain of stingyness".
Your example is a good example. The lady may feel offended if you ask her does she need help in the wrong way. So getting to know the lady via friendship may be the way to proceed if you really think she does need help.
I do this often myself. I think you are being helpful.
My opinion is you have kindness of heart and kindness of intentions. The Buddha instructed one should often contemplate (as a meditation) one's own good qualities.
Kind regards
I'm a new in this forum, and i find it very useful already! I hope to learn more from all of you! Thanks again!