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Illness - what's the point?
Mum was recently diagnosed as having MS.
I attributed any damage to her nervous system to her drink habit. Some people have gone up in the air about this so if you don't like what I said then, I understand it wasn't charitable but I was hurting and I have this belief that everything happens for a reason. My logic was, well alcoholics shake when they haven't had a drink so if mum's nerves are up the swanny that must be a similar thing - drink messing them up.
But then, by that logic, why are people dying of cancers, in wars, by stepping off the kerb a second too early, freak weather, etc.? Taken to their conclusion my logic would be that cause and effect are always directly related...
I have certain ideas that I live my life by - that we can always choose our lot, we can all better ourselves if we try hard enough and we can all be great if we believe in ourselves. That we can make anything happen.
My sister on the other hand believes that, quite simply, s**t happens and you've just gotta make do.
To me that's like tossing a coin.
What do you think?
I attributed any damage to her nervous system to her drink habit. Some people have gone up in the air about this so if you don't like what I said then, I understand it wasn't charitable but I was hurting and I have this belief that everything happens for a reason. My logic was, well alcoholics shake when they haven't had a drink so if mum's nerves are up the swanny that must be a similar thing - drink messing them up.
But then, by that logic, why are people dying of cancers, in wars, by stepping off the kerb a second too early, freak weather, etc.? Taken to their conclusion my logic would be that cause and effect are always directly related...
I have certain ideas that I live my life by - that we can always choose our lot, we can all better ourselves if we try hard enough and we can all be great if we believe in ourselves. That we can make anything happen.
My sister on the other hand believes that, quite simply, s**t happens and you've just gotta make do.
To me that's like tossing a coin.
What do you think?
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Comments
I believe this;
Things don't happen for a reason.
They happen for reasons.
I feel for your mom, I too suffer. I also drink and smoke way too much.
I'm drinking right now actually..
Anyway , I doubt it's your moms fault for developing this disease or illness.
MS sounds to me like a genetic thing, The drinking maybe helped it develop, by lowering immune systems maybe, but she was probably predisposed to get it, I'm not a doctor right now. So I am unsure.
What I want you to remember, is life IS like flipping a coin. You don't know the outcome because you aren't intelligent enough (i mean everyone in general not just you!)
But a coin flipping in the air, follows certain physics...an intelligence great enough can determine how its going to land given the factors involved. OR NOT!!!? =
There is a bird flying above you in the sky. If you know the math related to his flight, and you know how his mind works, can you predict where he is going to go...
NO! because another bigger bird, swoops down and eats him..
>>>>
I believe there are just too many factors involved, the question I guess comes down to this,
If there are a countable amount of factors involved we can determine.
If there are an infinite amount of factors involved, then we can't.
so...free will might be an illusion of infinity.?
i'm gonna meditate on that
I agree with TheFound, your Mum's condition can't be solely laid at the feet of alcohol. Doubtless it exacerbated her condition. May have brought it to the surface, but there were maybe not so obvious other factors at play.
The Karmic Law of Cause and Effect is not a one to one relationship. I heard it explained once much like silt and one cell organisms that sink to the ocean floor that eventually become rock. As you pass through this and every life you make those karmic deposits, and what they turn into depends on what you deposit... and it doesn't happen overnight, or in any given lifetime.
So who's to say, that you mum's drinking in this lifetime was to blame, it may be do to serious bad karma many lifetimes ago. I don't mean to be cruel, because I don't know your mum, but for all you know, this may just be the latest in a series of negative downturns in your mum's mindstream, maybe it's been going on for a while, and she hasn't yet seen the path to change that. Maybe in the next life she will find the way.
You have found it in this lifetime, but who knows how many truly miserable lifetimes you just went through?
As for your sister... while it's true that shit happens... instead of just making do, your sister needs to change her shit.
Some things are attributable to karma (such as drinking). Others are merely attributable to the impermanence and unsatisfactoriness of conditioned phenomena (such as the body inevitably getting sick & decaying).
The body, the Buddha called 'rupa'. The word 'rupa' means 'that which will be broken; that which will be afflicted'. I myself know little about M.S. However, I do recall one of Australia's greatest athletes, namely, Betty Cuthbert, is afflicted by it.
Kind regards
DDhatu
I can understand the body decaying through age but I can't understand it decaying prematurely - what is the point. Surely we came into being to be functioning human beings with the capacity to contribute to the world postively.
And truly, in all my thinking about this, I never EVER thought it would come down to karma. Hmm food for thought there. Thanks for your ideas and wisdom.
human bodies are no different than fruit- they ripen and decay, sometimes prematurely
One of the most difficult questions - perhaps the only one that those of us who have life-shortening conditions want to ask - is "Why do bad things happen to good people?" As you can see, above, there are those who will answer that "sh*t happens", whereas others will reply that "k*rma* happens". Neither is particularly satisfactory to us as we suffer shortening and alteration of life by illness.
The most difficulty answer but the only one that makes real sense to me is that there is no answer, only living from day to day.
Your mother and all your family are in my thoughts as you confront the uncertainty of a cruel condition. No matter what its "cause", you deserve and need our love and compassion.
Well I've gone past blaming my mother. I am glad none of you jumped own my throat telling me how cruel I was to think that way anyway. I was being honest.
I am someone who seeks a reason for things and I don't think the world is so chaotic that people get terrible illnesses randomly. It's a way of seeking security on my part I am aware of that.
I understand that cancer is increasingly linked to stress. That smoking and drinking are known to cause cancers and liver failure. Heart disease is linked to stress... So when mum had a problem with her nerves I just thought "right, an alcoholic shakes when they can't have a drink so this must be the nervous system reacting after 15 years of abuse".
I know that were I to be diagnosed with something, I would feel so angry. Having a family member diagnosed with something makes you think about how you'd cope if it was you.
I quite like the fruit analogy Yuri. If it was physical decay like a pear fallen on the ground and rotting I'd get it. But seeing people suffer and in constant pain (not mum's case it comes and goes) seems futile to me. Like a Catholic notion of penance or something.