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confession; i am not perfect.?!
the more i learn dharma....the more i seem to suck...its so depressing,
until you have that "mid" -"way" "turning",,,
...u suck.....
:cool: when will i get there?
slowly... lol right now i suck though.hmmm?
until you have that "mid" -"way" "turning",,,
...u suck.....
:cool: when will i get there?
slowly... lol right now i suck though.hmmm?
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In one sense, you never stop sucking, but the relationship to the suck changes and the relationship to the "you" changes.
it's the only thing i 'have'
I can recognize what it is, but I ...i'm like the guy the feels he'd rather be in the matrix...you know!?
I know maybe I should USE it as a tool
for discriminating things practically - the self that is... and discrimination =(nonbuddhism/IGNORANCE)
...but I don't know how to explain this, ...
it hurts or dulls my mind, to think about outside dualities,...to think of myself as not separate...
it's the attachment to self and what i know -
it's like a cancer spiritually/mentally that's too well attached now to perform surgery...
Buddhism to me is like the cure, or radiation treatment, it's my only option...
BUT I don't want to accept the treatment you know...jeez it's hard to explain at 3 in the morning..
I see what buddha is saying !! but it seems cold outside....or there...you know?
Keep practicing! You will develop the capacity for this if you just keep practicing well.
The idea is to recognise it, understand and accept it, and realise the insubstantial and impermanent essence of the Self. It's there, it's existent, insofar as all compounded phenomena are existent....
There's no denying it.
But there's no making it an unmoveable concrete reality, either....
yup.
And he 'knows' too.....
You're separate and not-separate.
And that's ok.
Like a wave on the ocean. Individual, moving, an energy and force in and of itself, yet part of the remaining water, and thus inseparable....
Learn about it, but don't fight where you're at, at the moment.
Trust me.
It's hard to explain at any time.... like I said - don't fight it. Just go with where you are right now, and progress that way.....
Your resistance makes you cold.
Not the buddha.
His teaching is constant. We're the ones who blow hot.
And cold.
In Zen they say,
"Kill yourself,
Kill your teacher,
Kill your god."
What does this mean? Sounds like something out of a horror movie, right? By kill your "self" they don't mean self-annihilation, but simply the understanding that self is an illusion...to understand this you must understand Emptiness (Shunyata). By "kill your teacher" they don't mean that you should murder your Sensei. They mean that you must not become attached/dependent on your teacher. Spiritual teachers should be treated like Doctors...once you're cured you don't stay at the hospital, you leave and live your life. Thus, don't become a disciple and cling to your "Guru" as tis becomes another form of attachment. By "kill your god" they don't mean deicide or burning down temples & churches. Two points- the Buddha taught that even if the gods exist, they cannot aide you in becoming enlightened because they too are just as trapped in the ocean of birth and death (Samsara). Second- any concept you have of the divine is only that, a concept...it isn't the same as the divine itself. Christians make this mistake all the time. They believe that because they've read the Bible that they understand God, when in truth they do not even really understand themselves...much less a being capable of returning from the dead and flying like a superhero.
Hope this is helpful.:)
Namu Amida Butsu
Namu Amida Butsu
Namu Amida Butsu
Don't focus on how much you sucked before, or how little you may not suck in the future. Just like a spark has the potential to become a large fire, as do even us humble practitioners have the potential to become enlightened.
There seem to be many doors to levels of enlightenment but you'll walk past open doors if you can't recognize and be mindful of that moment.
I have figured out some more precise questions now to ask, some things I don't have a 100% understanding on, so I'm going to post it in a new post.
Just one of the great quotes on this thread. Wow! Although I want to say I call myself a practicing buddhist and I rarely truly meditate at the moment. I feel I'm in a phase where I have to feel it in my veins, in action. There are other periods when meditation is critical for me to wipe the slate clean and cope with the world and therefore continue to be a good element in the world. I don't have much stress right now though and feel I'm ready to do and feel and think good.
Wanted to add this because I think being a practicing buddhist is broader than sometimes implied.
Haha excellent
Examine different schools of thought and don't get stressed on exactly what you have achieved or not achieved rather just relax and let the concepts seep in to you.